We Are Happiest In Our Life

A man and his girlfriend were married. It was a large celebration. All of their friends and family came to see the lovely ceremony and to partake of the festivities and celebrations. All had wonderful time.

The bride was gorgeous in her white wedding gown and the groom was very dashing in his black tuxedo. Everyone could tell that the love they had for each other was true.

A few months later, the wife came to the husband with a proposal, “I read in a magazine, a while ago, about how we can strengthen our marriage,” she offered, “Each of us will write a list of the things that we find a bit annoying with the other person. Then, we can talk about how we can fix them together and make our lives happier together.”

The husband agreed. So each of them went to a separate room in the house and thought of the things that annoyed them about the other. They thought abut this question for the rest of the day and wrote down what they came up with.

The next morning, at the breakfast table, they decided that they would go over their lists.

“I’ll start.” offered the wife. She took out her list. It had many items on it. Enough to fill 3 pages, in fact. As she started reading the list of the little annoyances, she noticed that tears were starting to appear in her husband’s eyes.

“What’s wrong?” she asked. “Nothing,” the husband replied, “keep reading your list.”

The wife continued to read until she had read all three pages to her husband. She neatly placed her list on the table and folded her hands over the top of it.

“Now, you read your list and then we’ll talk about the things on both of our lists.” She said happily.

Quietly the husband stated, “I don’t have anything on my list. I think that you are perfect the way that you are. I don’t want you to change anything for me. You are lovely and wonderful and I wouldn’t want to try and change anything about you.”

The wife, touched by his honesty and the depth of his love for her and his acceptance of her, turned her head and wept.

In life, there is enough time when we are disappointed, depressed and annoyed. We don’t really have to go looking for them. We have a wonderful world that is full of beauty, light and promise. Why waste time in this world looking for the bad, disappointing or annoying when we can look around us and see the wondrous things before us?

对婆婆要用心，细心

亲爱的婆婆：

虽然我不能常回去探望婆婆，但通过书信也算是对婆婆的一种关怀。
婆婆是一位通情达理的丈母娘。记得三姨随夫婿回乡职教去。婆婆虽然不舍，但也没什么怨言。还说人家也有父母，莫因为了留住自己的女儿而让他人失去了一个儿子。婆婆虽然教育不多，但有圣人般的智慧。正如证严法师所说：【女儿出嫁了，是多了一个儿子，并非少了一个女儿。】婆婆深懂的放下，唯三姨自己放不下。
【放下】并不是不爱婆婆，而是对婆婆要用心，细心，不要操心，烦心。祝安康。

Life Is An Attitudes

Dear Yi Jun,

We walk through life making choices. Some of them are good and some of them not so good, but hopefully we learn something from all of them. Life is an attitude, our attitude always affects us. We can’t choose what happens to us, but we can choose our attitudes toward each situation.

If we walk through life on the path we have chosen feeling as though we have to do this or we have to do that, eventually we might fell overwhelmed. We must change our attitude and looking at the opportunities presented to us each day. If we at those opportunities or challenges with a “get to” instead of a “have to” se might enjoy the journey just a little bit more.

If you make a conscious effort over the next couple of days to exchange the words “have to” with “get to” in your conversations with friends, coworkers and family, but most of all in your thoughts, and something amazing will happen. You will notice that all the things you “get to” do and started appreciating the opportunities and challenges on your path.

Just imagine:
You get to go to university to fulfill your dream.
You get to go to oversea when so many people can’t.
You get to do the laundry, thankful for a washing machine and dryer.
You get spend time with a friend, who needs you help.
You get to read a book; you still have your sight.
You get to remember the things that make you happy.

I give you a challenge. With every thought and conversation for the next day or two, change the words “I have to” with the words “I get to” and see if it make a difference in your day.

A Lesson For Our Life

One day a father took his young son on a trip to the country with the firm purpose to show him how poor people can be. They spent a day and a night in the farm of a very poor family. When they got back from their trip the father asked his son, “How was the trip?”

“Very good, Dad!”

“Did you see how poor people can be?” the father asked.

“Yeah!”

“And what did you learn?”

The son answered, “I saw that we have a dog at home, and they have four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of the garden; they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lamps in the garden; they have the stars. Our patio reaches to the front yard; they have a whole horizon.”

When the little boy was finishing, his father was speechless.

His son added, “Thanks, Dad, for showing me how poor we are!”

Isn’t it ture that it all depends on the way you look a things? If you have love, friends, family, healath, good humor and a positive attitude towards life, you’ve got everything!

潮洲乡音

亲爱的婆婆：

门前两种梨，算来算去三百个;
人说阿兄会选妻，选得一个妻长短脚。

这是我小时候常听到婆婆哄孩子入睡的歌谣。这种旋律优美的声音，会让我们倍感亲切。一听见，心里会涌起温柔与亲和之感，我们称之为“潮洲乡音”。
潮洲乡音是新山人都熟悉的语言，也是伴随我们成长的各种声调。乡音，是我思念婆婆的记号，在浮华的变迁社会里，那是最温馨的回忆。
来到今天，以往熟悉的潮洲乡音也逐渐退隐至时代的角落，婆婆郎郎上口的歌谣随着婆婆的记忆渐渐地消失了。但是我还是感恩婆婆陪着我们走到今天这个进步的社会。感谢婆婆，祝身体健康。

I Wish You Enough

Dear Yi Jun,

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirits up.
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough hellos to get your friends at Moscow.

给婆婆一个拥抱

亲爱的姨姨：

中国人常常小时候抱得很多，大了又抱得太少。可不是吗？当婆婆年事已高了，我们是不是很少拥抱她老人家了。亲子之间彼此都认为拥抱是肉麻的表现，却忘了这是心灵沟通的最好方法，它能唤起我们儿时的记忆，它能缩短彼此的距离。
婆婆老了，记忆力逐渐哀退，缺少了安全感，就像小娃娃一样；希望我们能给她一个拥抱的机会。
当我们拥抱自己娃娃的时候，何尝不希望将来娃娃长大，还能抱抱自己？因此每一次向婆婆告别时，我都会珍惜拥抱曾经把我抱大的风烛残年的婆婆。感恩婆婆一路来的关照。祝：大家身体健康。

The Ways For Staying Calm

I watched the old man’s fumbling fingers as he slowly counted out the coins, one by one. I was all but dancing with impatience in the checkout line and sighed with exasperation. Hearing me, he smiled apologetically – a tiny smile of humiliation at being feeble and holding up the world’s business.

Then I became contrite. Putting myself in his shoes, I realized that someday they might pinch my feet. I too, could become dependent on the kindness of strangers. I patted his frayed sleeves “Take your time,” I said, “there’s no hurry”.

It occurred to me how often I have acted impatiently – honking my horn the instant the light changed, speaking sharply to someone slow to understand. Did it matter? It did. When you’re impatient, you’re apt to be rude. And such behavior is counter – productive, making people angry or stubborn or uncooperative.

I decided to try becoming more patient and to develop various approaches for calming myself in stressful situations. I can’t claim that these techniques transformed me into a model of patience, but they have helped me eliminate some impatience from my life and control most of it.

Allow for a margin of error – A friend had passed the interviews for an important new job; all that remained was for the president of the company to meet his wife.

At six, my friend and his wife were in the tunnel on their way into New York for a seven O’clock appointment. At seven, they were still in the tunnel, stuck behind an overturned tractor-trailer. When they finally reached the president’s hotel, he had gone, leaving no message. He would not accept an explanation the next day. “You should have planned for delays,” he said.

Impatient people don’t like to waste time, so they cut things too closely. They budge the exact number of minutes that a journey or task should take, not allowing for the possibility of delay or the unexpected. It is better to provide a margin for error. The more important your appointment is, the more time should be allotted. When a appointment absolutely can’t be missed, it pays to allow ridiculous amounts of time.

Put thing in perspective – Not setting a coveted job is calamitous, but the consequences of being held up are seldom that serious. They are not worth getting impatient.

I’ve learned to ask myself, “What’s the worst that can happen?” If the answer is that I’ll miss the opening credits of a movie or the start of a ball game, I calm down. Will I even remember next week that I was ten minutes late today? Putting matters in perspective should ease your impatience.

Think ahead – One evening as an acquaintance was leaving for a weekend trip, her car wouldn’t start – and three friends were waiting to be picked up on a street corner. She had no way of getting word to them; they were cold and miserable and worried when she arrived an hour late. Since hearing her predicament, I’ve always arranged to meet people where they or I can be reached incase of delay. It enables me to be far more patient when things go wrong.

Be prepared – Waiting in airports is one of the most trying features of modern life. I was watching torrential rains streak the windows at Kinabalu International Airport one evening when a man came up, took a word game from his pocket and asked if I wanted to play. We played with pleasure for the four hours our plane was delayed. Near us, a man worked on his laptop computer. One woman went through a stack of catalogues methodically, turning down the corners of the pages, filling out order blanks. The most impatient people – the ones who prowled the waiting area and complained loudly – were those who had nothing to do but put coins in the vending machines.

I now assume I’ll encounter a delay, so always carry a book. A friend do SUDUKO.

Live for the moment – A man I knew was always racing impatiently into the future. If we met for a drink after work, the first thing he talked about was where we’d go for dinner; at dinner, he rushed through dessert to get to a movie; at the movie, he was on his feet before the last frame faded. And in the car on the way home, he was making plans for the next day, next week and next year.

Never did he live in the here and now. Consequently, he couldn’t enjoy life.

I’ve come to appreciate that life has its own timetable. It takes nine of ten months to make a baby, 21 years to make an adult. It takes a long time to become a good violinist or downhill skier. It also takes time to become a success and even more time to become a success as a person.

Perhaps the last thing for controlling impatience is to examine your own contribution to it. Are you unwilling to grant children time to learn or slow people time to accomplish a task? If impatience is only occasional, your annoyance will pass. But if you’re almost always irritable and abrupt, you may well feel that you’re just too important to ever be kept waiting for anyone or anything.

You’re not, of course; none of us are. If we can accept that the world is ours to enjoy but not made for our convenience, we’ll be better able to move through it equably, more patient with the ordinary vicissitudes of life and a good companion to out fellow human beings – and to ourselves.

珍惜小福

亲爱的姨姨：

生命是珍贵的，活着真好。光是和旬的春日，就能温暖你的心；凉风习习的夏夜，就能令你舒爽；生活中加点友情，就能令你快乐；工作之外把握悠闲，就有更多生趣。生命的美好，在于努力和欣赏现成的一切。
会觉得人生过得勉强，无法应付压力，是由于不懂得珍惜小福。人生很少有转运的大福，但却有许多小福。婆婆常教导我们说“小福由勤，大福在天”，至今我常感激婆婆的教诲，接纳自己，用自己手中的资粮去发展，去生活，去品味生命中取之不尽，用之不懈的小福，这才叫幸福。
祝：快乐幸福。

Support

“There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.” ---- Wharton

You support someone when you willingly step forward to help him through a challenging time. Yet the great irony is that when you support others, you are also, in fact, supporting yourself. When you withhold support from others, it is usually an indicator that you are also withholding support from yourself.

We are most often called upon to support others in friendship. One of my acquaintances, Donna, told me a story recently that clearly illustrates the magic of support and its potential as an emotional mirror.

Several years ago, Donna had been feeling very depressed. She had just broken up with her boyfriend of two years, and she was having a very difficult time accepting the loss. She had been laid up with a knee injury for several days, and the time alone at home certainly was not helping. Her misery was only compounded by her frustration at herself for not being able to pull it together and stop crying all the time.

Early one morning, Donna received a phone call with some terrible news: her best friend’s brother had been killed in a car accident. Donna had known this friend, Mary, and her brother nearly her entire life, and the news was devastating. However, Donna quickly pulled herself together, got in the car, and drove to her friend’s house to be there with her.

Over the course of the next few days, amidst the haze of the funeral and hundreds of visitors, Donna was 100 percent present for Mary. She held her close while she cried endless tears, sat by her side as the waves of fried washed over her friend, and slept on the floor next to Mary’s bed to make sure she did not wake up alone in the middle of the night. During that time she hardly felt any pain in her knee at all and none of the depression she had been experiencing.

Several weeks later, when life began to return to normal, Donna realized that the level of support she had given Mary far exceeded any support she had offered herself during her dark time. She was able to use the support she had given her friend as a mirror for the support she had been withholding from herself. She realized that her own tears required as much attention and nurturing from her as anyone else’s, and that if she could give it to another, she must be able to also give it to herself ….

So, when you find yourself unable to support someone else, look within and see if perhaps there is something within yourself that you are not supporting. Conversely, when you give complete support to others, it will mirror those places within you that require the same level of attention.

两代衔绵靠温馨的爱

亲爱的姨姨：

人到中年，父母开始衰老。老化是生命自然现象，力不从心和老之将至的无奈，使他们有些孤单不安，体力不及往常，所以我们须加以体恤婆婆老人家的身心特质，提供养护和鼓励，给他安全感和尊严。如果不及时做这件尽孝的事，总会令人追悔。
通常我们在自己年老时，才会有感叹没好好珍惜好时光，两代衔绵要靠温馨的爱，才能接续起来。如果不及时把握，那个心灵上的断层，将是一个生命的难关。
父母天生要当儿女们的守护神，所以无时无刻不担忧着我们。他们所做的事，尽管不是每件都正确，都令我们开心，但他们的爱不干枯，为了子女从不畏惧。这是我们该了解的。
我们对父母的感恩，正是别人也感恩我们的起点，这就是生命美好而绵延不断的真谛。祝：安康。

The Road To Happiness

It is a common place among moralists that you can't get happiness by pursuing it. This is only true if you pursue it unwisely. Gamblers at Monte Carlo are pursuing money and most of them lose it instead, but there are other ways of pursuing money, which often succeed. So it is with happiness. If you pursue it by means of drink, you are forgetting the hang-over. Epicurus pursued it by living only in congenial society and eating only dry bread, supplemented by a little cheese on feast days. His method proved successful in his case, but he was a valetudinarian and most people would need something more vigorous. For most people, the pursuit of happiness, unless supplemented in various ways, is too abstract and theoretical to be adequate as a personal rule of life. But I think that whatever personal rule of life you may choose it should not, except in rare and heroic cases, be incompatible with happiness.

There are a great many people who have all the material conditions of happiness, i.e. health and a sufficient income and who nevertheless are profoundly unhappy. In such cases it would seem as if the fault must lie with a wrong theory as to how to live. In one sense, we may say that any theory as to how to live is wrong. We imagine ourselves more different from thee animals than we are. Animals live on impulse and are happy as long as external conditions are favorable. If you have a cat it will enjoy life if it has food and warmth and opportunities for an occasional night on the tiles. Your needs are more complex than those of your cat, but they still have their basis in instinct. In civilized societies, especially in English – speaking societies, this is too apt to be forgotten. People propose to themselves some one paramount objective and restrain all impulses that do not minister to it. A businessman may be so anxious to grow rich that to this end he sacrifices health and private affections. When at last he has become rich, no pleasure remains to him except harrying other people by exhortations to imitate his noble example. Many rich ladies, although nature has not endowed them with any spontaneous pleasure in literature or art, decide to be thought cultured and spend boring hours learning the right thing to say about fashionable new books that are written to give delight, not to afford opportunities for dusty snobbism.

If you look around at the men and women whom you can call happy, you will see that they all have certain thins in common. The most important of these things is an activity which at most gradually builds up something that you are glad to see coming into existence. Women who take an instinctive pleasure in their children can get this kind of satisfaction out of bringing up a family. Artists and authors and men of science get happiness in this way if their own work seems good to them. But there are many humbler forms of the same kind of pleasure. Many men who spend their working life in the city devote their weekends to voluntary and unremunerated toil in their gardens and when the spring comes, they experience all the joys of having created beauty.

The whole subject of happiness has, in my opinion, been treated too solemnly. It had been thought that man cannot be happy without a theory of life or a religion. Perhaps those who have been rendered unhappy by a bad theory may need a better theory to help them to recovery, just as you may need a tonic when you have been ill. But when things are normal a man should be healthy without a tonic and happy without a theory. It is the simple things that really matter. If a man delights in his wife and children, has success in work and finds pleasure in the alternation of day and night, spring and autumn, he will be happy whatever his philosophy may be. If on the other hand, he finds his wife fateful, his children’s noise unendurable and the office a nightmare; if in daytime he longs for night and at night sighs for the light of day, then what he needs is not a new philosophy but a new regimen – a different diet or more exercise or what not.

Man is an animal and his happiness depends on his physiology more than he likes to think. This is a bumble conclusion, but I cannot make myself disbelieve it. Unhappy businessmen, I am convinced, would increase their happiness more by walking six kilometer every day than by any conceivable change off philosophy.

婆婆生日快乐

亲爱的婆婆：

生日快乐。与其把婆婆比喻作一支有泪的蜡烛，燃烧自己，照亮别人；不如把您比作一颗大榕树，无私地把儿孙们阴护。且不说您含辛茹苦把儿女培育成才，如今第三代成长过程中，哪一段没有您的言传身教？您恩如阳光般大，使我们这一代和谐共处。最后让我真诚祝福您，松鹤延年，寿比南山。

Three Step To Grow Your Hapiness

First Step:
Plant yourself deep in a bed of faith, and pack it down solid and tight. Drench daily with positive thinking and keep saturated just right. Mulch often with forgiveness, for this will help you grow. Quickly remove any seeds of worry, for they will soon germinate and keep out the weeds of despair. Nourish disappointments with hope whenever it is needed and always stay cool and shaded when you feel irritated or heated. Trim away guilt or depression, for they create decay and cultivate with happy memories as often as very day.

Second Step:
Harvest the lessons of the past; just dig, pick and hoe. And nurture the roots of the present, for now is when you flourish and grow. Start planting for the future; set your goals in a row. Spade the bed well for all your dreams to grow.

Third Step:
Remember that grief is a natural predator, so learn to tolerate some damage. Protect your garden with daily prayers, for this will help you manage. Bury the criticism and complaining, for they are injurious pests. Sow the seed of love wherever you may go – for joy, love and laughter are surely bound to grow. Although the thorns of life may be here to stay, just sprout a smile along the way … and be thankful for what you have today!

亲情是彼此互相扶持

亲爱的姨姨：

妈妈常说，小姨如二十四孝的黄香，侍奉婆婆用心体贴，为了让婆婆安心睡眠，睡前会帮婆婆涂油擦背，天寒时会为婆婆温暖被窝，实在值得我们学习。
另一方面，阿姨们也要认清婆婆的苦处和弱点。她老人家永远对子女放心不下，尽管我们已成年，事业有成，她还是盼望看到我们，想听到我们的声音，得到我们几句安慰的话。婆婆的心是脆弱的，是牵肠挂肚的，所以我们要常去探望她。
亲情是建立在彼此互相扶持，温暖和鼓励上，最后大家都得到启发，成长和创造的能力。随着年龄的增加，在精神生活上有了更开阔的视野。祝：安康

Did You Made A Wrong Choice?

Dear Yi Jun,

Have you ever, at any one time, had the feeling that life there is bad quality, real bad, and you wish you were in another situation? You find life make things difficult for you, study sucks, life sucks and everything seems to go wrong …

Watch the following link story … it may change your views about life:

Films: Chicken a la Carte by Fredinad Dimdura

Taken a back by the scene, the bread and chicken people was eating halfway. And almost instantly, a flock of 5 or 6 children swamped towards this food which was covered with dirt, robbing bits from dustbin – the natural reaction of hunger.

We began to tell ourselves how fortunate we are. How fortunate we are to be able to have a complete body, have chance to study oversea, have a family, have the chance to complain what food is nice and what isn’t nice, have the chance to be clothed, have the many things that these people in front of him are deprived of …

Now you begin to think and feel it, too! How? Were you life really that bad? Perhaps --- No, You should not feel bad at all … . Maybe the next time you think you are, think about the child who search the food from dustbin. “Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want; it is the realization of how much you already have.”

When the door of happiness closes, another opens, but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don’t see the one which has been opened for us. It’s true that we don’t know what we’ve got until we lost it, but it’s also true that we don’t know what we have been missing until it arrives.

亲情也是无常

亲爱的妈妈：

姨姨们可有常来探望婆婆？我们为人子女的人要常了解父母的境况。婆婆年老了，有其特别的需要，绝大部分的年老人孤独，寂寞，缺乏安全感，更现实的是他们需要年轻一代的亲切问候，抚养与照顾。年老的父母只有越来越脆弱，不会永远强壮，我们必须意识到这个无常和残酷。
对子女而言，亲情也是无常的；要及时把握它，随缘关心父母。他们需要我们的安慰，一通电话，几句短笺；送他一点零用金，在桌上放一点小吃，聆听他诉说往事，得便就逗她一笑。当在自己年老时，会因感同身受而问心无愧。
祝：身体健康，出入平安。

Relish The Moment

Tucked away in our subconsciousness is an idyllic vision. We see ourselves on a long trip that spans the continent. We are traveling by train. Out the windows, we drink in the passing scene of cars on nearby highways, of children waving at a crossing, of cattle grazing on a distant hillside, of smoke pouring from a power plant, of row upon row of corn and wheat, of flatlands and valleys, of mountains and rolling hillsides, of city skylines and village halls.

But uppermost in our minds is the final destination. On a certain day at a certain hour, we will pull into the station. Bands will be playing and flags waving. Once we get there, so many wonderful dreams will come true and the pieces of our lives will fit together like a completed jigsaw puzzle. How restlessly we pace the aisles, damning the minutes for loitering – waiting, waiting, waiting for the station.

“When we reach the station that will be it!” we cry. “When I am 30 years old.” “When I buy a new Proton Saga!” “When I put my kids through university.” “When I have paid off the mortgage!” When I get a promotion.” “When I reach the age of retirement, I shall live happily ever after!”

Sooner or later, we must realize there is no station, no one place to arrive at once and for all. The true joy of life is the trip. The station is only a dream. It constantly outdistances us.

“Relish the moment” is a good motto. This is the day which the Lord had made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.” It isn’t the burdens of today that drive men mad. It is the regrets over yesterday and the fear of tomorrow. Regret and fear are twin thieves who rob us of today.

妈妈的叮咛

亲爱的婆婆：

妈妈常常提醒我说：“阿嬷岁数这么大了，你要懂得孝敬她老人家。”其实孙子能孝顺婆婆固然重要，因百养以孝为先；但是女儿孝顺父母天公地道，是圣人之训。孙子孝顺老人家是孙子们的福报；女儿孝顺父母亲则是女儿们的福报，所谓有孝就有福，有愿就有力，自耕福田，自得福缘。也许妈妈心存孝心，但切不晓得如何立身行孝，故屡次都这么心切的叮咛着我们要孝顺婆婆。其实行孝并不难，《弟子规》之入则孝这一篇告诉我们道：“父母呼，应勿缓，父母命，行勿懒，父母教，须敬听，父母责，须顺承”
其大意是：父母呼唤，应及时回答，不要慢吞吞的很久才应答。父母有事交待，要立刻动身去做，不可拖延或推辞偷懒。父母教导我们做人处事的道理，是为了我们好，应该恭敬的聆听。做错了事，父母责备教诫时，应当虚心接受，不可以强词夺理，使父母亲生气，伤心。

Count Your Blessings

Dear Yi Jun,

MCA had raised the issue of many outstanding Chinese students who had failed to get JPA scholarships this year with the Cabinet recently. Without the scholarship, the excellent result’s students having scored 10As – 16As in last year's Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia couldn’t pursue their studies overseas. You are blessing.

When I say your blessings, not your troubles, the message is not to become complacent. If complacence was the message you got, then I would be guilty of faulty communication and you of selective listening.

To give you an example of selective listening, let me share with you a story I heard about a medical doctor who was invited as a guest speaker to address a group of alcoholic. He wanted to make a demonstration that would be powerful enough to make people realize that alcohol was injurious to their health. He had two containers, one with pure distilled water and one with pure alcohol. He put an earthworm into the distilled water and it swam beautifully and came up to the top. He put another earthworm into the alcohol and it disintegrated in front of everyone’s eyes. He wanted to prove that this was what alcohol did to the insides of our body. He asked the group what the moral of the story was and one person from behind said: “If you drink alcohol you won’t have worms in your stomach.” Was that the message? Of course not. That was selective listening –we hear what we want to hear and not what is being said.

Many of our blessings are hidden treasure – count your blessings and not your troubles.

生命只在一瞬间

亲爱的婆婆：

在巴金的《繁星》里这么写道：“我爱月夜，但我也爱星天。”借用巴金的话：“我爱妈妈，但我也爱婆婆；妈妈养育我，婆婆则看着我成长。”其实很多事情我们常以为对方知道，所以就不讲；很多话我们也常以为将来还有机会，可以等以后再讲；但是我们永远无法预料未来，生命是很无常的，不要等到太迟了，才后悔有些话不早一点讲，因为生命只在一瞬间。即使再亲密的人，若不讲也无法知道我们的心意；所以拜托小姨转告婆婆我们是多么的想念她老人家。希望她身体健康，上下楼梯要小心，饮食要注意，少吃多嚼，少盐多醋，少肉多菜，少糖多果，少怒多笑，少烦多静，少停多动。
祝：出入平安

The Golden Mean

Confucian once reduced all virtue to the golden mean (the doctrine of the mean). Push right to the extreme and it becomes wrong; press all the juice from an orange and it become biter. Even in enjoyment never go to extremes.

You should learn to seize things not by the blade, which cut; but by the handle, which saves you from harm; especially is this the rule with the doings of your enemies. A wise man gets more use from his enemies than a fool from his friends. Their ill will often levels mountains of difficulties which one would otherwise not face. Flattery is more dangerous than hatred because it covers the stains which the other causes to be wiped out. The wise will turn ill will into a mirror more faithful than kindness, and remove or improve the faults referred to.

Everyone would have excelled in something if he had known his strong point. Notice in what quality you surpass, and take charge of that. In some, judgment excels, in others valor. Most do violence to their natural aptitude and thus attain superiority in nothing. Time disillusions us too late of what first flattered the passions.

天上有繁星，有幸来过藩

亲爱的婆婆：

谢谢婆婆把妈妈从老远的唐山带来“过藩”（南洋），所以才造就今日的我。据潮州老乡说“天上有繁星，此生才有幸来过藩”。在巴金的《繁星》里这么写道：“我爱月夜，但我也爱星天。从前在家乡七、八月的夜晚在庭院里纳凉的时候，我最爱看天上密密麻麻的繁星。望着星天，我就会忘记一切，仿佛回到了母亲的怀里似的。”我现在才明白潮州老乡所谓的繁星象征着幸福，就如巴金所说仿佛回到了母亲的怀里般幸福。也许这句话对土生土长的我们并不是那么简单就体会出它的意境。 虽然未曾听过妈妈就此事向婆婆道谢，我还是代妈妈感谢婆婆这么多年来的辛苦劳碌，关爱子女，呵护子女。这完全是出自於天性，毫无保留、毫无怨言。若我们时时刻刻把感恩的心付诸行动，就不枉婆婆的一番苦心了。祝：母亲节快乐。

The Living Art

The art of living is to know when to hold fast and when to let go. For life is a paradox; it enjoins us to cling to its many gifts even while it ordains their eventual relinquishment. The rabbis of old put it this way, “A man comes to this world with his fist clenched, but when he dies, his hand is open.”

Surely we ought to hold fast to life, for it is wondrous, and full of a beauty that breaks through every pore of the earth. We know that this is so, but all too often we recognize this truth only in our backward glance when we remember what was and then suddenly realize that it is no more.

We remember a beauty that faded, a love that waned. But we remember with far greater pain that we did not see that beauty when it flowered, that we failed to respond with love when it was tendered.

Every evening, I like to jog under the sun with my wife, I like the sunlight hit me; because by this way I can get free vitamin D from natural environment. Try to imagine if the sunlight hit us during the bitterly cool of winter day at Moscow. Just the light of the sun, and yet how beautiful it was – how warming, how sparking, how brilliant! Anyone else relished the sun’s golden glow, but everyone was hurrying to and fro, most with eyes fixed on the ground. Then I remembered how often I, too, had been indifferent to the grandeur of each day, too preoccupied with petty and sometimes even mean concerns to respond from that experience is really as commonplace as was the experience itself: life’s gifts are precious – but we are too heedless of them.

Here then is the first pole of life’s paradoxical demands on us: Never too busy for the wonder and the awe of life. Be reverent before each dawning day. Embrace each hour. Size each golden minute.

Hold fast to life, but not so fast that you cannot let go. This is the second side of life’s coin, the opposite pole of its paradox: we must accept our losses, and learn how to let go.

This is not an easy lesson to learn, especially when we are young and think that the world is ours to command, that whatever we desire with the full force of our passionate being can, nay, will, be ours. But then life moves along to confront us with realities, and slowly but surely this truth dawns upon us.

At every stage of life we sustain losses – and grow in the process. We begin our independent lives only when we emerge from the womb and lose its protective shelter. We enter a progression of schools, then we leave our mothers and fathers and our childhood homes. We get married and have children and then have to let them go. We confront the death of our parents and our spouses. We face the gradual or not so gradual waning of our strength. And ultimately, as the parable of the open and closed hand suggests, we must confront the inevitability of our own demise, losing ourselves as it were, all that we were or dreamed to be.

母亲节

亲爱的婆婆：

慈母手中线， 游子身上衣。

临行密密缝， 意恐迟迟归。

谁言寸草心。 报得三春晖。

五月的母亲节让我想起孟郊这首“游子吟”，同时也唤醒我记得向婆婆及妈妈祝福。
小时后，半夜梦中惊醒，发现脚拇指被老鼠咬个洞，鲜血直流；婆婆不作声为我止血敷药。婆婆您可记得这么一件事？虽然时过境迁，但这件事还是牢牢的烙印在我的脑海里。婆婆不但要养育女儿还要替女儿照顾儿子。婆婆是位伟大的母亲，您的爱如阳光般大，如海般深。
在婆婆的生命中，只有爱没有嗔恨，只有宽恕没有抱怨。虽然别人对自己不好，对女儿不好；但总不会去记恨对方，而以宽容心接纳对方。婆婆受教育不多但懂得学会放下的智慧，所以在人生旅途中的任何困境都心无挂碍，受人尊敬。婆婆的身教是我们学习的对象。最后让我借用小姨的口讯向婆婆请安，愿婆婆身体健康。祝：母亲节快乐。

Our Own Identity

In the eternal universe, every human being has a one – off chance to live – his existence is unique and irretrievable, for the mold with which he was made, as Rousseau said, was broken by God immediately afterwards.

Fame, wealth and knowledge are merely worldly possessions that are within the reach of anybody striving for them. But your experience of and feelings about life are your own and not to be shared. No one can live your life over again after your death. A full awareness of this will point out to you that the most important thing in your existence is your distinctive individuality or something special of yours. What really counts is not your worldly success but your peculiar insight into the meaning of life and your commitment to it, which add luster to your personality.

It is not easy to be what one really is. There is many a person in the world who can be identified as anything – either his job, his status or his social role – that shows no trace about his individuality. It does do him justice to say that he has no identity of his own, if he doesn’t know his own mind and all his things are either arranged by others or done on others’ suggestions; if his life, always occupied by external things, is completely void of an inner world. You won’t be able to find anything whatever, from head to heart, that truly belongs to him. He is, indeed, no more than a shadow cast by somebody else or a machine capable of doing business.

让生命在每一个当下圆满

亲爱的婆婆：

回想自己定居巴生的时间，不知不觉已经有二十六年了，还记得当初，对家有着殷切的思念，我离开家之后才深深地感受到家的美好；当父亲突然往生之后，才让我了解到感恩，生存的价值，才想到有好多的“应该做”，结果都错失了。要弥补错失，唯有把这应该做的想法转变成马上做的行动，应该好好地去珍惜还健在的婆婆，妈妈及身边所有的人，要马上告诉他们，我多么感谢他们对我们所付出的一切，让他们知道他们教育的苦心没白费。让生命在每一个当下圆满，让生活没有太大的遗憾。祝福大家在生命的旅途中，一路顺风，自在无碍。

You Are On A Journey

Wherever you are and whoever you may be, there is one thing in which you and I are just alike at this moment and in all the moments of our existence: we are not at rest; we are on a journey. Our life is a movement, a tendency, a steady, ceaseless progress towards an unseen goal. We are gaining something or losing something, everyday. Even when our position and our character seem to remain precisely the same, they are changing. For the mere advance of time is a change. It is not the same thing to have a bare field in January and in July. The season makes the difference. The limitations that are childlike in the child are childish in the man.

Everything that we do is a step in one direction or another. Even the failure to do something is in itself a deed. It sets us forward or backward. The action of the negative pole of a magnetic needle is just as real as the action of the positive pole. To decline is to accept – the other alternative.

Are you nearer to your port today than you were yesterday? Yes, -- you must be a little nearer to some port or other; for since your ship was first launched upon the sea of life, you have never been still for a single moment; the sea is too deep, you could not find an anchorage if you would; there can be no pause until you come into port.

现实生活的无奈

亲爱的婆婆：

妈妈说四姨也有阅读婆婆的信，因此让我谈些与四姨有关的往年事迹。在小学毕业时，四姨是位名列前茅的优异生，但因当时生活崎岖困苦，环境所逼，婆婆决定让四姨休学出来工作补足家用。这个晴天霹雳的消息让四姨流下生活无情的眼泪，伤心了好几天。婆婆何尝也不如此难过。婆婆向来都疼爱孩子，庇护她们，期望孩子们可以安心求学，无忧无虑的长大；但现实生活的无奈，只好下了百般不愿的痛苦抉择。假如没有四姨的牺牲小我就不能实践姐妹们爱求学的梦想，所以至今四姨深懂得珍惜求学的机会，成就孩子圆满其心愿。如果把婆婆比喻成一支蜡烛，四姨就是这支蜡烛的心，没有心的蜡烛就不能燃烧，即使有心，也要点燃才有意义，点燃了的蜡烛会有泪，但总比没有燃烧的好。
祝：幸福快乐

Man’s Youth

Man’s youth is a wonderful thing: it is so full of anguish and of magic and he never comes to know it as it is, until it has gone from him forever. It is the thing he cannot hear to lose, it is the thing whose passing he watches with infinite sorrow and regret, it is the thing whose loss he must lament forever, and it is the thing whose loss he really welcomes with a sad and secret joy, the thing he would never willingly relive again, could it be restored to him by any magic.

Why is this? The reason is that the strange and bitter miracle of life is nowhere else so evident as in our youth. And what is the essence of that strange and bitter miracle of life which we feel so poignant, so unutterable, with such a bitter pain and joy, when we are young? It is this: that being rich, we are so poor; that being mighty, we can yet have nothing; that seeing, breathing, smelling, tasting all around us the impossible wealth and glory of this earth, feeling with an intolerable certitude that the whole structure of the enchanted life – the most fortunate, wealthy, good, and happy life that any man has ever known – is ours – is ours at once, immediately and forever, the moment that we choose to take a step, or stretch a hand, or say a word – we yet know that we can really keep, hold, take and possess forever – nothing. All passes; nothing lasts: the moment that we put our hand upon it, it melts away like smoke, is gone forever, and the snake is eating at our heart again; we see then what we are and what our lives must come to.

A young man is so strong, so mad, so certain and so lost. He has everything and he is able to use nothing. He hurls the great shoulder of his strength forever against phantasmal barriers, he is a wave whose power explodes in lost mid-oceans under timeless skies, he reaches out to grip a fume of painted smoke, and he wants all, feels the thirst and power for everything and finally gets nothing. In the end, he is destroyed by his own strength, devoured by his own hunger, impoverished by his own wealth. Thoughtless of money or the accumulation of material possessions, he is none the less defeated in the end by his own greed a greed that makes the avarice of King Midas seem paltry by comparison.

And that is the reason why, when youth is gone, every man will look back upon that period of his life with infinite sorrow and regret. It is the bitter sorrow and regret of man who knows that once he had a great talent and wasted it, of a man who knows that once he had a great treasure and got nothing from it, of a man who knows that he had strength enough for everything and never used it.

感谢婆婆的恩惠

亲爱的婆婆：

我的童年生活就在婆婆家成长，所以对婆婆有着一份深厚的感情。曾经有几回没钱缴交区区八十六元的学费，向婆婆求援，婆婆从未拒绝过在教育上的援助。写到此，我不得不承认原来我今天的成就不全在我，而是仰赖着父母，婆婆及姨姨们，才圆满的，我认识到我们生命和我们周遭的人事物其实是息息相关的，从婆婆的谆谆教诲，父母的养育之恩到师长的教导，从安定的成长环境，到接受得来不易的母语教育熏陶，从我们所呼吸的每一口空气到和我们朝夕相对的家人，我们的生命是由一连串的恩赐所编而成的。因此我必须常常感谢婆婆的恩惠造就今天的我，此生莫齿难忘。祝：婆婆身体健康，万寿无疆。

The Road Of Life

The lives of most men are determined by their environment. They accept the circumstances amid which fate has thrown them not only with resignation but even with good will. They are like streetcars running contentedly on their rails and they despise the sprightly flitter that dashes in and out of the traffic and speeds so jauntily across the open country. I respect them; they are good citizens, good husbands and good fathers and of course somebody has to pay the taxes; but I do not find them exciting. I am fascinated by the men, few enough in all conscience, who take life in their own hands and seem to mould it to their own liking. It maybe that we have no such thing as free will, but at all events, we have the illusion of it. At a cross road it does seem to us that we might go either to the right or the left and the choice once made, it is difficult to see that the whole course of the world’s history oblige us to take the turning we did.

有空一定要去深望婆婆

亲爱的婆婆：

妈妈时常交待说：“阿嬷这么老了，有空一定要去探望她。“孙子深望婆婆固然可贵，但女儿们探望妈妈更为重要。婆婆渴望见到的是女儿并非孙子。因为女儿是妈妈身上的一块肉，母女的亲情是与生俱来，怎样甩也甩不掉。希望阿姨们有阅读婆婆的信，然后亲切的向婆婆请安，至少每周日探望她老人家一次。
婆婆看似那么的近，但却离我们越来越远了。也许有一天，婆婆会望着来访的女儿问来者是谁。因为婆婆的记忆已随着时间而逐渐健忘了。行孝不能等，该做就要把握时机，也要把握因缘，因缘消逝才想做就来不及了。人总是想要去行好孝，但都想等到自己有时间，或有空余时才去做，须知人生无常啊！只要有心，哪怕是亲切的一个问候，也要赶快去做，千万不要等到因缘错过留下遗憾。祝：合家平安。

With Love In My Heart

I will greet this day with love in my heart. For this is the greatest secret of success in all ventures. Muscle can split a shield and even destroy life but only the unseen power of love can open the hearts of men. I sill make love my greatest weapon and none can defend against its force.

And how will I do this? Henceforth will I look on all things with love and I will be born again. I will love the sun for it warms my bones; yet I will love the rain for it cleanses my spirit. I will love the light for it shows me the way; yet I will love the darkness for it shows me the stars. I will welcome happiness for it enlarges my heart; yet I will endure sadness for it opens my soul. I will acknowledge rewards for they are my due; yet I will welcome obstacles for they are my challenge.

And how will I speak? I will laud mine enemies and they will become friends; I will encourage my friends and they will become brothers. Always will I dig for reasons to applaud; never will I scratch for excuses to gossip. When I am tempted to criticize I will bite on my tongue; when I am moved to praise I will shout from the roofs.

Is it not so that birds, the wind, the sea and all nature speak with the music of praise for their creator? Cannot I speak with the same music to his children? Henceforth will I remember this secret and it will change my life.

And how will I act? I will love all manner of men for each has qualities to be admired even though they are hidden. With love I will tear down the wall of suspicion and hate which they have built round their hearts and in its place will I build bridges so that my love may enter their souls.

I will love the ambitious for they can inspire me! I will love the failures for they can teach me. I will love the kings for they are but human; I will love the meek for they are divine. I will love the rich for they are yet lonely.

I will love the poor for they are so many. I will love the young for the faith they hold; I will love the old for the wisdom they share. I will love the beautiful for their eyes of sadness; I will love the ugly for their souls of peace.

But how will I react to the actions of others? With love, for just as love is my weapon to open the hearts of men, and love is also my shield to repulse the arrows of hate and the spears of anger. Adversity and discouragement will beat against my new shield and become as the softest of rains.

And how will I confront each whom I meet? In only one way – In silence and to myself I will address him and say “I Love You”. Though spoken in silence these words will shine in my eyes, unwrinkled my brow, bring a smile to my lips and echo in my voice; and his heart will be opened.

有孝才有善

亲爱的姨姨：

妈妈常常赞赏小姨是现代的孝顺女儿，对婆婆的关照无微不至。小姨是以日常的行动来感恩婆婆这一生对大家的付出，也让婆婆知道她的教诲没白费。每当悉知小姨周日带婆婆去逛巴刹，我都很感欣慰婆婆有这么健康的体魄。虽然婆婆有女佣扶助行动，但婆婆总是拂手而去，不睬女佣的照顾。因为女佣不如小姨般关照，就是少了那颗心。小姨深懂用心照顾婆婆，所以婆婆活得很开心；而女佣两年期限一到就回国，小姨则不弃不离永远都会陪伴在婆婆的身旁天天为婆婆整装疏发就如小时候婆婆替小姨梳头杂发鞭那样温馨。小姨阿，您可知道吗，有孝才有善，所有真正的好人从尽孝开始。祝：幸福快乐。

The End Of The Year

Come to the end of the year, it means I am growing old. I was planning to conquer the Mountain Kinabalu summit as many as possible before it conquers me one day.

A great psychologist said that most men are “old fogies at twenty five.”

He was right. Most men at twenty five are satisfied with their jobs. They have accumulated the little stock of prejudices that they call their “principles” and closed their minds to all new ideas; they have ceased to grow.

The minute a man ceases to grow – no matter what his years – that minute he begins to be old.

On the other hand, the really great man never grows old.

Goethe passed away at eighty three and finished his “Faust” only a few years earlier, Gladstone took up a new language when he was seventy.

Laplace, the astronomer, was still at work when death caught up with him at seventy eight. He died crying: “What we know is nothing; what we do not know is immense.”

And there you have the real answer to the question: “When is a man old?”

Laplace at seventy eight died young. He was still unsatisfied, still sure that he had a lot to learn.

陈年往事

亲爱的婆婆：

二十世纪四十年代末期，太平洋战争宣告结束，国共内战方兴未艾。动荡的年代，公公从汕头飘洋南渡，乘了一周的轮船方在山打根落脚，最后转移至新山，与友人合伙共做零售杂货小生意谋生，略有积蓄便寄款回乡孝敬父母。贫瘠的时代，通讯迟缓，资源短缺，家乡回寄的收据回条，纸轻情义重，上印“佳音捷报”四个字。这种“唐山批”的小信筏妈妈最清楚，都记载隔着海洋的亲情之音，都是苦情，南洋谋生苦，家乡生活苦，两边思念苦，这种苦情也许是在南洋出生的这一代所无法体会出的。婆婆，在您的记忆中还可记得这些陈年往事？还是已随着时光的流逝而逐渐淡忘在我们的脑海里了？祝：合家平安。

Beauty

And a poet said, speak to us of beauty.

And he answered: Where shall you seek beauty and how shall you find her unless herself be your way and your guide? And how shall you speak of her except she be the weaver of your speech.

The aggrieved and the injured say, “Beauty is kind and gentle. Like a young mother half – shy of her own glory she walks among us.”

And the passionate say, “Nay, beauty is a thing of might and dread. Like the tempest she shakes the earth beneath us and the sky above us.”

The tired and the weary say, “Beauty is of soft whisperings. She speaks in our spirit. Her voice yields to our silences like a faint light that quivers in fear of the shadow.”

But the restless say, “We have heard her shouting among the mountains. And with her cries came the sound of hoofs and the beating of wings and the roaring of lions.”

At night the watchmen of the city say, “Beauty shall rise with the dawn from the east.” And at noontide the toilers and the wayfarers say, “We have seen her leaning over the earth from the windows of the sunset.”

In winter say the snow-bound, “She shall come with the spring leaping upon the hill.”

And in the summer heat the reapers say, “We have seen her dancing with the autumn leaves and we saw a drift of snow in her hair.”

All these things have you said of beauty. Yet in truth you spoke not of her but of needs unsatisfied and beauty is not a need but an ecstasy. It is not a mouth thirsting nor an empty hand stretched forth, but rather a heart enflamed and a soul enchanted. It is not the image you would see or the song you would hear, but rather an image you though you close your eyes and a song you hear though you shut your ears. It is not the sap within the furrowed bank, nor a wing attached to a claw, but rather a garden for ever in bloom and a flock of angels for ever in flight.

People of Orphalese, beauty are life when life unveils her holy face.

But you are life and you are the veil.

Beauty is eternity gazing at itself in a mirror. But you are eternity and you are the mirror.

我的公公

亲爱的婆婆：

清明时节倍思亲，想到看我长大的公公，不禁泪下。公公去世已经二十多年了，他是我心目中的“圣人”，一辈子没有坏习气，从不口出恶言，孝顺父母，友爱兄弟，爱护妻小，邻里和睦。公公勤劳节俭，严肃，不苟言笑，但左邻右舍人人都敬重他，子女们都敬畏他。这一生一世，我都不敢或忘记公公的身教和遗教。
虽然公公已经不在世了，但每次见到公公灵位前祭拜的黑啤酒及点燃过的烟蒂让我颇为感动姨姨们对公公的那份孝心。所谓有孝才有福，有愿就有力，自造福田，自得福缘。祝幸福快乐。

Work And Pleasure

To be really happy and really safe, one ought to have at least two or three bobbies and they must all be real. It is no use starting late in life to say: “I will take an interest in this or that.” Such an attempt only aggravates the strain of mental effort. A man may acquire great knowledge of topics unconnected with his daily work and yet hardly get any benefit or relief. It is no use doing what you like; you have got to like what you do. Broadly speaking, human beings may be divided into three classes: those who are toiled to death, those who are worried to death and those who are bored to death. It is no use offering the manual labourer, tired out with a hard week’s sweat and effort, the chance of playing a game of football or baseball on Saturday afternoon. It is no use inviting the politician or the professional or business man, who has been working or worrying about serious things for six days, to work or worry about trifling things at the weekend.

It may also be said that rational, industrious, useful human beings are divided into two classes: first, those whose work is work and whose pleasure is pleasure and secondly, those whose work and pleasure are one. Of these the former are the majority. They have their compensations. The long hours in the office or the factory bring with them as their reward, not only the means of sustenance, but a keen appetite for pleasure even in its simplest and most modest forms. But Fortune’s favoured children belong to the second class. Their life is a natural harmony. For them the working hours are never long enough. Each day is a holiday and ordinary holidays when they come are grudged as enforced interruptions in an absorbing vocation. Yet to both classes the need of an alternative outlook, of a change of atmosphere, of a diversion of effort, is essential. Indeed, it may well be that those whose work is their pleasure are those who most need the means of banishing it at intervals from their minds.

孙子怎么能不来看婆婆

亲爱的婆婆：

清明时节雨纷纷，路上行人欲断魂。
借问酒家何处有，牧童谣指杏花村。

每当清明节快到时，就会想起杜牧这首诗。清明节也称为孝亲节，让我们在有生之年孝顺感恩年长之辈，不让它在我们生命中出现任何遗憾，所以在时间的许可下，我会常去探望婆婆，要不然就写信问候婆婆。我最记得婆婆曾对我说：“孙子，你怎么能不来看我。”因此我务必好好把握机会常写信给婆婆。
最后我诚心以感恩之心感谢婆婆对我的照顾，没有婆婆的关照，也没今日的我。婆婆在我的心目中无人可取代。婆婆永远是我那位和蔼可亲的至亲。祝：安康

Friendship

Your friend is you needs answered. He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanks giving. And he is your board and your fireside, for you come to him with your hunger and you seek for peace.

When your friend speaks his mind you fear not the “nay” in your own mind, nor do you withhold the “ay”; and when he is silent your heart ceases not to listen to his heart; for without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires, all expectations are born and shared, with joy that is unacclaimed.

When you part from your friend, you grieve not, for that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain.

And let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit, for love that seeks aught but the disclosure of its own mystery is not love but a net cast forth: and only the unprofitable is caught.

And let your best be for your friend. If he must know the ebb of your tide, let him know its flood also, for what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill?

Seek him always with hours to live, for it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness. And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter and sharing of pleasures, for in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.

谢谢婆婆

亲爱的婆婆：

谢谢婆婆把我妈妈从老远的潮安带下南洋，所以才造就了今天的我。婆婆以坚强不拔的精神养育了每一位女儿成长，更期望她们都有好的归宿；而且还要为她们的子女们操心。婆婆辛苦了一辈子，不为什么，只为能让生命能延续下去。婆婆对子女们的爱是一份清静无染的爱，无分别心，无求回报；所以婆婆活得快乐自在，没有烦恼；反而是姨姨们为婆婆担忧太多了，为自己寻找烦恼。其实婆婆已经尽力去做好人，放下执著活在当下了；所以我们必须去学习婆婆的人生智慧。
人生犹如一场戏，种种的烦恼，要随着幕升幕落而消逝，不要执著于心上，若能时时刻刻消除内心的烦恼，化为一股清凉的悲心，即是婆婆的智慧了。祝：健康幸福

Man’s Guide

Man in this moment of his history has emerged in greater supremacy over the forces of nature than has ever been dreamed of before. There lies before him, if he wishes, a golden age of peace and progress. He has only to conquer his last and worst enemy – himself.

The only guide to a man is his conscience; the only shield to his memory is the rectitude and sincerity of his actions. It is very imprudent to walk through life without this shield, because we are so often mocked by the failure of our hopes, but with this shield, however the Fates may play, we march always in the ranks of honor.

We shall go forward together. The road upward is long. There are upon our journey dark and dangerous valleys, through which we have to make and fight our way. But it is sure and certain that if we persevere and we shall persevere, we shall come through these dark and dangerous valleys into sunlight broader and more genial and more lasting than mankind has ever know.

姨姨们对婆婆关怀之至

亲爱的婆婆：

在睡梦中被婆婆慈祥的面孔唤醒，思念婆婆的心情让我不觉中落泪。婆婆青春年少时离乡背景到南洋寻找新生活；深切悉知这一离乡后，返回的日子遥遥无期，下跪家婆叩了头便道别潮安离开了汕头。这一幕让我深深的感动，婆婆为了让新生命能够在异乡延续下去，尽一生的忙碌与努力担当整个家庭的生活，其功不可没。如今婆婆已是白发苍苍的九旬老人家了，有安逸幸福的日子过是另人欣慰的乐事。幸好众阿姨们个个都能尽孝心，对婆婆关怀之至，周日不忘去探望您老人家，小姨也常陪伴婆婆逛巴刹。姨姨们深懂得感恩婆婆这些年来对她们的付出。这是我们做晚辈必须学习的风范。最后让我向婆婆请安，表达我深切的问候与关怀。祝婆婆永远健康幸福。

Life Instructions

Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

Memorize your favorite poem.

Don’t believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

When you say, “I love you”, mean it.

When you say, “I’m sorry”, look the person in the eye.

Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

Believe in love at first sight.

Never laugh at anyone’s dreams. People who don’t have dreams don’t have much.

Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it’s the only way to live life completely.

In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

Don’t judge people by their relatives.

Talk slowly but think quickly.

When someone asks you a question you don’t want to answer, smile and ask, “Why do you want to know?”

Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

Call your parents.

Say “bless you” when you hear someone sneeze.

When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.

Remember the three R’s: 1. Respect for self; 2. Respect for others; 3. Responsibility for all your actions.

Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

Marry a man / woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

Spend some time alone.

Open hour arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.

Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

Read more books and watch less TV.

Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll get to enjoy it a second time.

Trust in God but lock your car.

A loving atmosphere in home is so important. Do all you can to create a tranquil harmonious home?

In disagreements with loved ones, deal with the current situation.

Don’t bring up the past.

Read between the lines.

Pray. There’s immeasurable power in it.

Never interrupt when you are being flattered.

Mind your own business.

Don’t trust a man / women who doesn’t close his / her eyes when you kiss.

Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.

If you make a lot of money, put it to use helping others while you are living. That is wealth’s greatest satisfaction.

Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a stroke of luck.

Remember that the best relationship is one where your love for each other is greater than your need for each other.

Judge your success by what you have done compared to what you could have done, not to what others have done with their abilities.

Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.

教育下一代，用心做人

亲爱的姨姨：

妈妈时常都在提醒我说: “婆婆已活了这把年纪，你得空的时候千万记得常给她老人家打电话问候。”婆婆听觉不好，不如写信来得好，又有小姨亲口代问候来的亲切。谢谢小姨一路来讨婆婆的细心照顾，也常代我向婆婆问候请安。不因什么，只因您的妈妈就是我的婆婆。
最近爱写信，伊浚成了我电脑的文书助理。过程中也可以教育下一代，让他们了解我们这一代是如何把人做好，用心做人，做好本分的工作，如小姨现在做者是。
生命教育提醒我们活着要感恩，珍惜拥有，而很多时候这简单适时的提醒，真的可以免除一生的遗憾；这简单适时的表达，会让身边的人知道，您是多么的感恩他们对您所做的一切。因为生命有限所以我们更要格外珍惜，因为有缘，所以我们更应该把握。祝福大家身体健康。

Perseverance

Napoleon declared, “Victory belongs to the most persevering.” Upon careful study we find perseverance depends upon three things – purpose, will and enthusiasm. He who has a purpose is always concentrating his forces. By the will, the hope and the plan are prevented from evaporating into dreams. Enthusiasm keeps the interest up and makes the obstacles seem small.

Life is in a sense a battle. The man who thinks to get on by mere smartness and by idling meets failure at last. Perseverance is the master impulse of the firmest souls and holds the key to those treasure-houses of knowledge from which the world has drawn its wealth both of wisdom and of moral worth.

Great men never wait for opportunities; they make them. They seize upon what ever is at hand, work out their problem and master the situation. The greatest thing a man can do in this world is to make the most possible out of the stuff that has been given to him. This I success and there is no other.

One of the important lessons of life is to learn how to get victory out of defeat. It takes courage and stamina, when mortified by humiliating disaster, to seek in the ruins the elements of future conquest. Yet this measures the difference between those who succeed and those who fail. We cannot measure a man by his failures. We must know what use he makes of them. The man who has not fought his way upward and does not bear the scar of desperate conflict does not know the highest meaning of success.

不为什么，只因为你是我的孩子

亲爱的母亲：

念小学五年级的时候，因您的疏忽，忘了留下巴士费便去上班。当时家境贫穷，翻开整间家也搜不出两毛钱来塔巴士，由于有耻向邻居借钱，只好提早徒步从拉庆老家走到市区宽柔一小；路经义兴路婆婆家，顺道问候婆婆。婆婆见到我汗流浃背问起原因，我说着说着，婆婆眼泪掉了下来，泪中悲欣交集，悲中柔和了婆婆对孙女们纯纯的爱，是如实的爱，就像冰心最著名的那一句“不为什么，只因为你是我的孩子”的爱。婆婆慈祥的面容唤起了我对婆婆的思念。现今婆婆的记忆逐渐淡忘，请切记转告我对婆婆的问候与关怀，以免日后空遗憾。祝：万事顺利。

“The Present”

Dear Yi Jun,

Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them: Work, Family, Health, Friends and Spirit. And you are keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls – family, health, friends and spirit are made of glass. If you drop one of these, it will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life.

How?

Don’t undermine your worth by comparing yourself to others. It is because we are different that each of us is special.

Don’t set your goals by what other people deem important. Only you know what is best for you.

Don’t take for granted the things closest to your heart. Cling to them as you would to your life, for without them, life is meaningless.

Don’t let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future. By living your life one day at a time, you live all the days of your life.

Don’t give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.

Don’t be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect. It is this fragile thread that binds us each together.

Don’t be afraid to encounter risks. It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.

Don’t shut love out of your life by saying it’s impossible to find. The quickest way to receive love is to give; the fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly; and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.

Don’t run through life so fast that you forget not only where you’ve been, but also where you are going.

Don’t forget, a person’s greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated.

Don’t be afraid to learn. Knowledge is weightless, a treasure you can always carry easily.

Don’t use time or words carelessly. Neither can be retrieved.
Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way.

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift; that’s why we call it “The Present”.