亲情也是无常

亲爱的妈妈：

姨姨们可有常来探望婆婆？我们为人子女的人要常了解父母的境况。婆婆年老了，有其特别的需要，绝大部分的年老人孤独，寂寞，缺乏安全感，更现实的是他们需要年轻一代的亲切问候，抚养与照顾。年老的父母只有越来越脆弱，不会永远强壮，我们必须意识到这个无常和残酷。
对子女而言，亲情也是无常的；要及时把握它，随缘关心父母。他们需要我们的安慰，一通电话，几句短笺；送他一点零用金，在桌上放一点小吃，聆听他诉说往事，得便就逗她一笑。当在自己年老时，会因感同身受而问心无愧。
祝：身体健康，出入平安。

Relish The Moment

Tucked away in our subconsciousness is an idyllic vision. We see ourselves on a long trip that spans the continent. We are traveling by train. Out the windows, we drink in the passing scene of cars on nearby highways, of children waving at a crossing, of cattle grazing on a distant hillside, of smoke pouring from a power plant, of row upon row of corn and wheat, of flatlands and valleys, of mountains and rolling hillsides, of city skylines and village halls.

But uppermost in our minds is the final destination. On a certain day at a certain hour, we will pull into the station. Bands will be playing and flags waving. Once we get there, so many wonderful dreams will come true and the pieces of our lives will fit together like a completed jigsaw puzzle. How restlessly we pace the aisles, damning the minutes for loitering – waiting, waiting, waiting for the station.

“When we reach the station that will be it!” we cry. “When I am 30 years old.” “When I buy a new Proton Saga!” “When I put my kids through university.” “When I have paid off the mortgage!” When I get a promotion.” “When I reach the age of retirement, I shall live happily ever after!”

Sooner or later, we must realize there is no station, no one place to arrive at once and for all. The true joy of life is the trip. The station is only a dream. It constantly outdistances us.

“Relish the moment” is a good motto. This is the day which the Lord had made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.” It isn’t the burdens of today that drive men mad. It is the regrets over yesterday and the fear of tomorrow. Regret and fear are twin thieves who rob us of today.

妈妈的叮咛

亲爱的婆婆：

妈妈常常提醒我说：“阿嬷岁数这么大了，你要懂得孝敬她老人家。”其实孙子能孝顺婆婆固然重要，因百养以孝为先；但是女儿孝顺父母天公地道，是圣人之训。孙子孝顺老人家是孙子们的福报；女儿孝顺父母亲则是女儿们的福报，所谓有孝就有福，有愿就有力，自耕福田，自得福缘。也许妈妈心存孝心，但切不晓得如何立身行孝，故屡次都这么心切的叮咛着我们要孝顺婆婆。其实行孝并不难，《弟子规》之入则孝这一篇告诉我们道：“父母呼，应勿缓，父母命，行勿懒，父母教，须敬听，父母责，须顺承”
其大意是：父母呼唤，应及时回答，不要慢吞吞的很久才应答。父母有事交待，要立刻动身去做，不可拖延或推辞偷懒。父母教导我们做人处事的道理，是为了我们好，应该恭敬的聆听。做错了事，父母责备教诫时，应当虚心接受，不可以强词夺理，使父母亲生气，伤心。

Count Your Blessings

Dear Yi Jun,

MCA had raised the issue of many outstanding Chinese students who had failed to get JPA scholarships this year with the Cabinet recently. Without the scholarship, the excellent result’s students having scored 10As – 16As in last year's Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia couldn’t pursue their studies overseas. You are blessing.

When I say your blessings, not your troubles, the message is not to become complacent. If complacence was the message you got, then I would be guilty of faulty communication and you of selective listening.

To give you an example of selective listening, let me share with you a story I heard about a medical doctor who was invited as a guest speaker to address a group of alcoholic. He wanted to make a demonstration that would be powerful enough to make people realize that alcohol was injurious to their health. He had two containers, one with pure distilled water and one with pure alcohol. He put an earthworm into the distilled water and it swam beautifully and came up to the top. He put another earthworm into the alcohol and it disintegrated in front of everyone’s eyes. He wanted to prove that this was what alcohol did to the insides of our body. He asked the group what the moral of the story was and one person from behind said: “If you drink alcohol you won’t have worms in your stomach.” Was that the message? Of course not. That was selective listening –we hear what we want to hear and not what is being said.

Many of our blessings are hidden treasure – count your blessings and not your troubles.

生命只在一瞬间

亲爱的婆婆：

在巴金的《繁星》里这么写道：“我爱月夜，但我也爱星天。”借用巴金的话：“我爱妈妈，但我也爱婆婆；妈妈养育我，婆婆则看着我成长。”其实很多事情我们常以为对方知道，所以就不讲；很多话我们也常以为将来还有机会，可以等以后再讲；但是我们永远无法预料未来，生命是很无常的，不要等到太迟了，才后悔有些话不早一点讲，因为生命只在一瞬间。即使再亲密的人，若不讲也无法知道我们的心意；所以拜托小姨转告婆婆我们是多么的想念她老人家。希望她身体健康，上下楼梯要小心，饮食要注意，少吃多嚼，少盐多醋，少肉多菜，少糖多果，少怒多笑，少烦多静，少停多动。
祝：出入平安

The Golden Mean

Confucian once reduced all virtue to the golden mean (the doctrine of the mean). Push right to the extreme and it becomes wrong; press all the juice from an orange and it become biter. Even in enjoyment never go to extremes.

You should learn to seize things not by the blade, which cut; but by the handle, which saves you from harm; especially is this the rule with the doings of your enemies. A wise man gets more use from his enemies than a fool from his friends. Their ill will often levels mountains of difficulties which one would otherwise not face. Flattery is more dangerous than hatred because it covers the stains which the other causes to be wiped out. The wise will turn ill will into a mirror more faithful than kindness, and remove or improve the faults referred to.

Everyone would have excelled in something if he had known his strong point. Notice in what quality you surpass, and take charge of that. In some, judgment excels, in others valor. Most do violence to their natural aptitude and thus attain superiority in nothing. Time disillusions us too late of what first flattered the passions.