Are You Selfish?

Dear Yi Jun,

Hurt feelings between people can be very upsetting. How should you respond when you are being “put down” or insulted by someone else?

Suppose somebody say, “ChrisLee, you have golden hair.” Would that make you feel bad?

You’ll probably reply, “No.”

“Why not?”

“Because I know I don’t have golden hair.”

So what they say to you needn’t affect how you feel. What you believe about yourself is more important.

Add, what if they say, “ChrisLee, you are selfish?” That statement can only hurt you if you have doubts about whether you really are selfish. If you are clear that you are a warm, generous person, then you won’t be hurt because you know what they said isn’t true.

Anytime you feel upset about what someone says about you, or something you do, it’s because at some level you doubt yourself in that area.

If someone says, in effect, “You have golden hair” and you know you don’t, there’s no problem.”

If there’s some truth in what the person says, view it as feedback or information you can use for self-improvement.

What I've Learned

I have learned that the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.

I have learned that being kind is more important than being right.

I have learned that no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.

I have learned that that money doesn’t buy class. (Wear smart to build up our image)

I have learned that it’s those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

I have learned that under everyone’s hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

I have learned that sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.

I have learned that the Lord didn’t do it all in one day. What makes me think I can?

I have learned that when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you. (Kind to everyone)

I have learned that the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.

I have learned that life is tough, but I’m tougher. (The way to grow as a man)

I have learned that love, not time, heals all wounds.

I have learned that everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.

I have learned that I can always pray for someone when I don’t have the strength to help him in some other way.

I have learned that no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.

I have learned that opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.

I have learned that when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere. (Don’t worry, always be happy)

I have learned that one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.

I have learned that a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks. (To make us look smarter)

I have learned that I can’t choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do about it.

I have learned that everyone wants to stand on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing it.

I have learned that it is best to give advice in only two circumstances: when it is requested and when it is a life – threatening situation.

I have learned that the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done. (Don’t delay our work, study or examintion)