The Moethods Of Practicing Economy

The methods of practicing economy are very simple. Spend less than you earn. That is the first rule. A portion should always be set apart for the future. The person who spends more than he earns, is not wise.

The next rule is to pay ready money and never borrow with “Ah Long” to run into debt.

The person who runs into debt is apt to get cheated and if he runs into debt to any extent, he will himself be apt to get dishonest. "Who pays what he owes, enriches himself."

The next is, never to anticipate uncertain profits by expending them before they are secured. The profits may never come, and in that case you will have taken upon yourself a load of debt which you may never get rid of.

Another method of economy is, to keep a regular account of all that you earn, and of all that you expend. An orderly man will know beforehand what he requires, and will be provided with the necessary means for obtaining it. Thus his domestic budget will be balanced; and his expenditure kept within his income.

It is difficult to fix the precise limits of economy. If a man would live well within his income, he ought not to expend more than one-haft, and save the rest. This is perhaps too exacting. What proportion of one' s income should be expended on housing loan? That depends upon circumstances.

Wherever there is a large family, the more money that is put to one side and saved, the better. Economy is necessary to the moderately rich, as well as to the comparatively poor man. Without economy, a man can’t be generous. He can’t take part in the charitable work of the world.

If he spends all that he earns, he can’t help anybody. He can’t properly educate his children, nor put them in the way of starting fairly in the business of life. Thousands of witnesses daily testify, that men even of the most moderate intelligence, can practice the virtue with success.

Men of all classes are, as yet, too little influenced by these considerations. They are apt to live beyond their incomes.

To save money for avaricious purposes is altogether different from saving it for economical purposes. The saving may be accomplished in the same manner--by wasting nothing, and saving everything. But here the comparison ends. The miser's only pleasure is in saving. The prudent economist spends what he can afford for comfort and enjoyment, and saves a surplus for some future time. The avaricious person makes gold his idol, whereas the thrifty person regards it as a useful instrument, and as a means of promoting his own happiness and the happiness of those who are dependent upon him. The miser is never satisfied. He amasses wealth that he can never consume, but leaves it to be squandered by others, probably by spend thrifts; whereas the economist aims at securing a fair share of the world' s wealth and comfort, without any thought of amassing a fortune.

There is a dignity in the very effort to save with a worthy purpose, even though the attempt should not be crowned with eventual success. It produces a well-regulated mind; it gives prudence a triumph over extravagance; it gives virtue the mastery over vice; it puts the passions under control; it drives away care; it Secures comfort. Saved money, however little, will serve to dry up many a tear will ward off many sorrows and heart burnings, which otherwise might prey upon us. Possessed of a little store of capital, a man walks with a lighter step--his heart beats more cheerily.

When interruption of work or adversity happens, he can meet them; he can recline on his capital, which will either break his fall, or prevent it altogether. By prudential economy, we can realize the dignity of man; life will be a blessing.

Don't Afraid to Live Your Dreams?

"Hold it!” you say, “I’m waiting for the perfect time,” or “I’m waiting for the perfect situation.” All this waiting is an excuse not to go out and try.

So, don’t afraid of making a mistake? Don’t afraid of making the wrong choice” Don’t afraid that you may not be good enough? And what if the people around you laugh at your dreams, or don’t support you? Is that enough for you to just give up?

Fear is the number one reason that people do not live their dreams. Fear holds us back, sometimes paralyzing us and prevents us from moving forward. But, when you look back at your life, what do you want it to be about? Do you want to say, “I could have,” or “I did?” The choice is yours, what words do you want to come out of your mouth?

So how do you move past your fears and live your dreams? Follow these easy steps:

1. Acknowledge that you have dreams.
2. Write down your dreams.
3. Break your dreams into small steps.
4. Face the barriers that are keeping you from living your dreams.
5. Find people who will support you.
6. Pat yourself on the back for your successes.
7. Recognize that fear will not go away.

The only way past fear is through it and not around it. You can do it!

So, feel the fear and live your dreams anyway! There are no guarantees, but the rewards are plentiful if you believe in yourself. No one is going to live your dreams for you. It’s up to you to create your own life. Why not have that life filled with dreams?

A Lesson You Need To Learn

Have you ever notice that lessons tend to repeat themselves? You may continually attract the same lesson into your life. You may also draw to your teachers to teach you that lesson until you get it right. You may try to avoid the situation, but they will eventually catch up with you. The only way you can free yourself of difficult patterns and issues you tend to repeat is by shifting your perspective so that you can recognize the patterns and learn the lessons that they offer. To face these challenges means you need to accept the fact that something within you keeps drawing you to the same kind of person or issue, though that situation or relationship may be very painful.

The challenge, therefore, is to identify and release the patterns that you are repeating. This is no easy task, since it means you have to change, and change is not always easy. Staying just as you are may not help you advance spiritually, but it certainly is comfortable in its familiarity.

Rising to the challenge of identifying and releasing your patterns forces you to admit that the way you have been doing things isn't working. The good news is that by identifying and releasing the pattern, you actually learn how to change. In order to facilitate your process of change, you will need to learn the lessons of willingness and patience. Once you master these, you will most likely find the challenge of identifying and releasing your patterns far less intimidating.

The real secret to being able to change is the willingness to do so. If you are to make any progress in excavating yourself from the cycles that entrap you, you must first identify the patterns that keep you stuck. Then you can begin to release the old behaviors.

If you truly want to change, you will choose to do it, and make a commitment to the process of it. However, if you rely on the thought that you should change, you will make the decision to do so and then you will feel the pinch of sacrifice. Following the current trends, the advice of friends, or the wishes of family members result in decision; following you inner compass results in choice.

So when you are struggling to make a change in your life, ask yourself, "How willing am I, really, to make this change?" If you are not succeeding, there's a good chance that you may be relying on your belief that you should change, rather than on your intrinsic desire to do so,

Patience is the display of tolerance while awaiting an outcome. You are presented with the lesson of patience the moment you try to create a change within yourself. You expect immediate results and are often disappointed when your first few attempts to follow through fall short. When people who try to lose weight cheat on their diets, they get very frustrated with themselves for not being able to stay with their new eating regime and berate themselves for not changing their patterns.

As you already know, change is rarely easy, and you need to exercise gentleness and patience with yourself as you work your way through this process. Growth can be a slow, painstaking process and patience will provide you with the stamina you need to become the person you want to be.

If you absolutely hate getting stuck in traffic, chances are that you need a little work in the area of patience. And, chances are, you will probably get stuck in more traffic jams than someone who has no issue with patience--and not simply because the universe has a sense of humor. You sill just notice the traffic more than someone who has more patience.

Remember, a lesson will be repeated until learned. It just takes a little patience.

Accept The Challenges

Should we easily wail about the embarrassment and the unfairness of life? Or should we accept obstacles as challenges? With a choice of stance we can allow ourselves to be oppressed victims. When anything happens to us, we can take it as a sign that we should not expect anything good out of our lives. These are times when we need to determine whether it is wisdom or fear that motivates us in our choices.

If we view our lives as a juggling act or a sort of sporting contest, we learn to go along with the limitations and obstacles that are dealt us. We then find ways to make it through the event in good shape and with energy. Different talents and strengths will be called upon to get through the obstacles. Our faith, humor, and hope may be tested, but they are what keep us going as we try to overcome the various obstacles.

Discrimination and prejudice are challenges. We force ourselves to work twice as hard as others; however, the rewards from our work are ours to enjoy. The important thing is to be working at something we find meaningful and worthwhile.

To succeed, you must accept challenges. There will always be barriers, cultural differences, and lack of understanding around us, but it is beneficial for us to stay together, be sensitive to each other needs, and to help each other. Maintaining cultural diversity and integrity is possible as a healthy community builds on teamwork, praise, pride and enthusiasm. Once, we are dedicated to improve critical skills such as knowledge sharing, collaboration, flexibility and risk taking, we will improve our future.

Together, we can make our world a better place in which to live by changing the way we and the rest of the population view it--positively. Let s make this challenge a reality.

How To Be A Leader

Dear Yi Jun,

Now’s a day youth seem content to take the easy route and enjoy the ride of life. When tough situations arise, they often pout and complain. How your teen years life will have a profound impact on your future life. You must learn to utilize your time wisely.

You may not see it now, but developing leadership characteristics at a young age is very important. As we get older, it becomes harder to overcome bad habits and replace them with good ones. Possessing leadership qualities is essential, both in this life and in the future world.

There are certain qualities that to become a leader: justice, judgment, dependability, initiative, decisiveness, tact, integrity, enthusiasm, poise, unselfishness, courage, knowledge and loyalty. You may recognize these as good qualities to have, but did not apply it in your life. The more that these qualities are part of your nature, the more productive and enjoyable your life will be. All of these are qualities that one must possess to one degree or another.

Contrary to popular opinion, leadership is something that is learned. No one is born a leader. We are all capable of exhibiting the leadership qualities mentioned above – some just not to choose. Of course, not everyone can be the “top dog”, let alone all the time. However, everyone does have the capacity to lead in some way – but action is required!

Understand that learning is a fact of life – learning to ride a bike, learning to swim, learning to drive, learning to type, learning mathematics, learning medicine, etc. All of these activities require action. While we are born with many different abilities, if we do not harness and develop them, those abilities will never come to fruition.

Youth is an excellent time to start developing leadership traits. Take the time to study each one in detail. Put them into practice as you interact with other people. Determine which areas you are weak in, striving to always improve. Observe the leaders, and how they handle situations and carry themselves. Also, study the lives of great leaders. The results will serve you in this life and beyond!

The Story for You

The pencil maker took the pencil aside, just before putting him into the box.

“There are five things you need to know,” he told the pencil, “Before I send you out into the world. Always remember them and never forget and you will become the best pencil you can be.”

“One: You will be able to do many great things, but only if you allow yourself to be held in someone’s hand.”

“Two: You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, but you’ll need it to become a better pencil.”

“Three: You will be able to correct any mistakes you might make.”

“Four: The most important part of you will always be what’s inside.”

“And Five: On every surface you are used on, you must leave your mark. No matter what the condition, you must continue to write.”

The pencil understood and promised to remember and went into the box with purpose in its heart.

Now replacing the place of the pencil with you, ChrisLee. Always remember them and never forget and you will become the best person you can be.

One: You will be able to do many great things, but only if you allow yourself to be held by good professor.

Two: You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, by going through various problems in life, but you’ll need it to become a stronger person.

Three: You will be able to correct any mistakes you might make.

Four: The most important part of you will always be what’s on the inside.

And Five: On every surface you walk through, you must leave your mark. No matter what the situation, you must continue to do your duties.

Allow this story to encourage you to know that you are a special person and only you can fulfill the purpose to which you were born to accomplish.

Never allow yourself to get discouraged and think that your life is insignificant and can’t make a change.

Forgive for Good

To forgive may be divine, but no one ever said it was easy. When someone has deeply hurt you, such as your roommate at hostel or your classmate at RSMU, I believe it can be extremely difficult to let go of your grudge. But forgiveness is possible – and it can be surprisingly beneficial to your physical and mental health.

“People who forgive show less depression, anger and stress and more hopefulness”, says Frederic, Ph.D., author of Forgive for Good. “So it can help save on the wear and tear on our organs, reduce the wearing out of the immune system and allow people to peel more vital”.

So how do you start the healing? Try following these steps:

Clam Yourself

To defuse your anger, try a simple stress-management technique. “Take a couple of breaths and think of something that gives you pleasure: a beautiful scene in nature, someone you love”, Frederic says.

Don’t Wait For an Apology

“Many times the person who hurt you has no intention of apologizing”, Frederic says, “They may have wanted to hurt you or they just have different thinking way. So if you wait for people to apologize, you could be waiting an awfully long time”. Keep in mind that forgiveness does not necessarily mean reconciliation with the person who upset you or condoning of his or her action.

Take the Control Away From Your Offender

Mentally replaying your hurt gives power to the person who caused you pain. “Instead of focusing on your wounded feelings, learn to look for the love, beauty and kindness around you”, Frederic says.

Try To See Things from the Other Person’s Perspective

If you empathize with that person, you may realize that he or she was acting out of ignorance, fear – even love. To gain perspective, you may write a blog to yourself from your offender’s point of view.

Recognize the Benefits of Forgiveness

Research has shown that people who forgive report more energy, better appetite and better sleep patterns.

Don’t Forget to Forgive Yourself

“For some people, forgiving themselves is the biggest challenge”, Frederic says. “But it call rob you of your sell-confidence if you don’t do it”.

You Can Helps Yourself

“Heaven helps those who help themselves” is the results of vast human experience. The spirit of self-help is the root of all genuine growth in the individual.

Even the best institutions can’t give a man active help. Perhaps the most they can do is, leave to develop himself and improve his individual condition. But in all times men have been prone to believe that their happiness and well-being were to be secured by institutions rather than by their own conduct.

Daily experience shows that it is energetic individualism which produces the most powerful effects upon the life and action is constitute the best practical education. Schools, colleges and university, give the merest beginnings of knowledge. Far more influential is the life-education daily given in our homes, in the streets, behind counters, in laboratory, at the hostel and the market, in hospital and in the busy crowd.

This is that finishing instruction as members of society, “the education of the human race”, consisting in action, conduct, self-culture, self-control, -- all that tends to discipline a man truly and fit him for the proper performance of the duties and future life.

In fine, human character is molded by a thousand subtle influences; by example and precept; by life and literature; by friends and neighbors; by the world we live in as well as by the spirits of our forefathers, whose legacy of good words and deeds we inherit. But though these influences, men must necessarily be the active agents of their own well-being and well-doing; however they themselves must be their own best helpers.

The Success Personality

Is there a “success personality” – some winning combination of qualities that leads almost inevitably to achievement? If so, exactly what is that secret success formula and can anyone develop it?

At the Gallop Organization we recently focused in depth on success, probing the attitudes of 1500 prominent people selected at random from Who’s Who in America. Our research finds out a number of qualities that occur regularly among top achievers. Here is one of the most important, that is common sense.

Common sense is the most prevailing quality possessed by our respondents. Seventy-nine percent award themselves a top score in this quality. And 61 percent say that common sense was very important in contributing to their success.

To most, common sense means the ability to present sound, practical judgments on everyday affairs. To do this, one has to sweep aside extra ideas and get right to the core of what matters. A Texas oil and gas businessman puts it this way: “The key ability for success is simplifying. In conducting of meeting and dealing with industry, reducing a complex problem to the simplest term is highly important”.

Is common sense a quality a person is born with or can you do something to increase it? The oil man’s answer is that common sense can definitely be developed. He attributes his to learning how to debate in school. Another way to increase your store of common sense is to observe it in others, learning from their – and your own – mistakes.

Besides common sense, there are many other factors that influence success: knowing your field, self-reliance, intelligence, the ability to get things done, leadership, creativity, relationships with others and of course, luck. But common sense stands out. If you develop these qualities, you’ll succeed. And you might even find yourself listen in Who’s Who someday.

Communicating A Sense Of Personal Power

Communicating a sense of personal power comes from a belief that you can reach your goals in your own way. Powerful people empower others and encourage others to express themselves openly. You communicate a sense of personal power by developing these traits:

Authority

Authority is inner confidence – a trust in your skills and abilities. It comes from the inside, from an attitude of “I can do that.” “I deserve success”. This attitude radiates outward as you assert your rights, honestly ask for what you want and need, and develop a willingness to give to others and yourself.

Assertiveness

Assertive behavior is active, direct and honest. It communicates an impression of self-respect and respect for others. By being assertive, we view our wants, needs and rights as equal with those of others. An assertive person wins by influencing, listening and negotiating so that other people choose to cooperate willingly.

Accessibility
The powerful person is a master net worker. Good network increases your visibility and gives you a valuable circle of people from whom you can give and receive support and information. Imagine yourself as the hub of a wheel surrounded by spokes of contacts.

Image
You communicate power through your image. Do you project an image consistent with strong leadership? Stand tall and walk proudly, remembering that you have value as a person. When you meet others, make direct contact and keep your handshake firm and friendly. Clearly state who you are and what you do.

Communication Habits
Take a deep breath to project a firm voice. Avoid slang, and jargon, and vocal hesitations that can hinder effective communication. Use only the body movements and gestures necessary to make your point, no more. Learn how to write clearly and succinctly.

Built Your Self-confidence

Confidence is a feeling – an inner fire and an outer radiance, a basic satisfaction with what one is plus a reaching out to become more. Confidence is not something a few people are born with and others are not, for it is an acquired characteristic.

Confidence is the personal possession of no one; the person who has it learns it – and goes on learning. The most gifted individual on earth has to construct confidence in his gifts from the basis of faith and experience, like anybody else. The tools will differ from one person to the next, but the essential task is the same. Confidence and pose are available to us all according to our abilities and needs – not somebody else’s – provided we utilize our gifts and expand them.

One of the most rewarding aspects of confidence is that it sits gracefully on every age and level of life – on children, men, women, and the famous, the obscure, rich, poor, artist, executive, teenager, the very old. And you can take it with you into old age. There is nothing more inspiring than an old person who maintains his good will, humor and faith in himself, in others, in the future. Conversely, the root cause of old people’s despair is a feeling of not being wanted, of nothing to contribute, no more to conquer and become.

Most people have more to work with than they realize. One noted physicist calls this unused excellencies and finding and releasing this potential in ourselves is one of the major challenges of modern life. The great danger is not that we shall overreach our capacities but that we shall undervalue and under-employ them, thus blighting our great possibilities.

The goal of life is not a problem less existence, which would be unbearably dull, but a way to handle problems, creatively. That word “problem” may sound a little prickly, but it only means a question put forth for solution and actually life consists of a series of problem – and – solutions, each different from the last.

Confidence is delight – delight in living, in being who you are, in what you do, in growing, in the endless and sometimes exasperating adventure of what it means to be human. The teacher who delights in teaching has no time for bogging down in a swamp of doubt that he or she is doing it “right”, and they are well aware that they can become a better teacher tomorrow, but only by doing their best today and enjoying today. So, too, the mother who delights in being a mother does not worry overmuch about whether she fits the rules. She is not the mother, after all, of something material but of a living child.

Rules can often be a guide to successful living, but they are not a substitute for living. Rules never quite keep up with reality, because rules come from experience, not the other way around. Life happens and it is infinitely inventive. It will always outrun and outmaneuver any attempt to bottle it up in a cut – and – dried system, for life is perpetual becoming. When life turns your wisest plans or best rules upside down, throw out the plans and bend with the circumstance. You will find powers you did not suspect and possibilities undreamed of.

Confidence is not always winning, not always victory. Indeed, it is that very quality in humanity which refuses to stay defeated. A kind of stubborn cheerfulness. Remember there are two things you can do with mistakes, you can run away and you can grow.

You Will Be Master Of Your Emotions

The tides advance; the tides recede. Winter goes and summer comes. Summer wanes and the cold increases. The sun rises; the sun sets. The moon is full; the moon is black. The birds arrive; the birds depart. Flowers bloom; flowers fade. Seeds are sown; harvests are reaped. All nature is a circle of moods and you are a part of nature and so, like the tides, your moods will rise; your moods will fall.

It is one of nature’s tricks, little understood, that each day you awaken with moods that have changed from yesterday. Yesterday’s joy will become today’s sadness; yet today’s sadness will grow into tomorrow’s joy. Inside your heart is a wheel, constantly turning from sadness to joy, from exultation to depression, from happiness to melancholy, yet you will remember that as today’s dead flower carries the seed of tomorrow’s bloom, so does today’s sadness carry the seed of tomorrow’s joy.

And how will you master these emotions so that each day will be productive? If your mood is right, the day will be a failure. Trees and plants depend on the weather to flourish but you make your own weather, yea you transport it with you.

And how will you master your emotions so that every day is a happy day and a productive one? You will learn this secret of the ages: “Weak are he who permits his thoughts to control his action; strong is he who forces his actions to control his thoughts.” Each day, when you awaken, you will follow this plan of battle before you are captured by the forces of sadness, self-pity and failure –

If you fell depressed you can sing.
If you feel sad you can laugh.
If you feel ill you can double your exercise.
If you feel fear you can plunge ahead.
If you feel inferior you can wear new garments.
If you feel uncertain you can raise your voice.
If you feel poverty you can think of wealth to come.
If you feel incompetent you can remember past success.
If you feel insignificant you can remember your goals.

Henceforth, you will know that only those with inferior ability can always be at their best and you are not inferior. There will be days when you must constantly struggle against forces which would tear you down. Those such as despair and sadness are simple to recognize but there are others which approach with a smile and the hand of friendship and they can also destroy you. Against them, you must never relinquish control –

If you become overconfident you can recall your failures.
If you overindulge you can think of past hungers.
If you feel complacency you can remember your competition.
If you enjoy moments of greatness you can remember moments of shame.
If you feel all-powerful you can try to top the wind.
If you attain great wealth you can remember one unfed mouth.
If you become overly proud you can remember a moment of weakness.
If you feel your skill is unmatched you can look at the stars.

Henceforth you can recognize and identify the mystery of moods in all mankind and in yourself. From this moment you prepared to control whatever personality awakes in yourself each day. You will master you moods through positive action and when you master your moods you will control your destiny. You will become master of yourself. You will become a great man.

Passivity

Just passively letting your life happen may make it more difficult to accept yourself. Part of accepting yourself is engaging in activities that help you like yourself. Think back to those times when you weren’t concerned about your acceptability. What kinds of things were you doing? How were you spending your time? To accept and like yourself means that you approve of how you are living your life. If you aren’t accepting yourself, you probably don’t like the activities you’re engaged in. You are feeling dissatisfied. A way to increase your self-acceptance is to become more actively engaged in your life. Look for those activities and relationships that give you the most enjoyment – not necessarily the most enjoyment you could possibly have, but the most you can get from your choices at the moment. Try new things, perhaps things you have always wanted to try but didn’t because you felt you couldn’t do them. Try them with the attitude that you want to know what it would actually be like to do them. You may find that they are enjoyable and that you want to continue them. You may find that they are okay, but not worth continuing. You may find that you don’t like them at all and feel fine about crossing them off your list of things to do. Trying and getting real experience is a way of feeling better about yourself and gaining more confidence in your abilities.

The Comparison Trap

Judging yourself by what others have accomplished is a sure way to lower your self-acceptance. Have you noticed that you never compare yourself to people who seem to aspire to less than you do and that you always chose those people who are the top performers or the most popular as your yardstick for success? Are you as good as your friends, your roommate, your brother or sister, your parents or Joe Blow? And how about trying to be like “normal” people are? (And who or what determines what is “normal”?) Can you only be good if you’re better than someone else? When we use other people as our yardstick, we aren’t taking into consideration our own personal limitations or talents. For example, if someone seems to be more articulate than you, you can respond in one of two ways: You can become upset and depressed by telling yourself that you should be as articulate as that person or you can recognize and accept the fact that there are probably a lot of people out there who are more articulate than you at certain times and under certain circumstances and that is okay. It doesn’t mean a thing about you. Playing the comparison game is a dead end street. By doing that you are probably missing some other qualities by which you can judge your own worth, like your honesty, friendliness, caring nature, dedication and so forth. And really, people don’t value you for how much you are like someone else. They do value you for the ways you are being you.

Not Accepting That There Are Real Limits To Your Abilities

The idea that you should always be able to attain your goals as long as you work hard enough is another factor interfering with self-acceptance. You will reach many of your goals and should give yourself credit for having done so. Some of us have trouble seeing our successes because we focus so much on our failures and many times the failures come after a lot of hard work and personal suffering. It seems that all that hard work should pay off in our having reaching the goal we set out to achieve. It is hard to accept that a given goal may be out of our reach and that may be because of many factors, including the fact that we may not have the talent or skill needed to reach the goal. Of course there may be other factors in operation that make the achieving of that goal at that time impossible such as living environment concerns, Russian language problems, far away from family, extraneous stressors or any number of other factors acting alone or together. The real trick to self-acceptance is to see that the goal is unattainable, at least for now and shifting your focus to accomplishing what you can accomplish under the circumstances. That could include evaluating your original goal and deciding whether or not to continue with it. It also means giving yourself credit for what you have accomplished and what you have learned from your experiences.

Impossibly High Standards

Having standards that are impossibly high is a third way you can not accept yourself. It may not come as a surprise to you that most of us are more demanding of ourselves than we are of others. Somehow we can tolerate the fact that other people fail, that they aren’t always kind, that they’ve done things they aren’t proud of, but we have difficulty accepting those very human aspects of ourselves. The need to be perfect is another way to set yourself up for failure and enhance the feeling that you are not acceptable. We all make mistakes. Accepting less than perfection simply means recognizing the limitations inherent in being born a human being. Learn to value who you are rather than who you could become. To quote Linus, a sober and often worried character from a popular comic strip, “The world’s heaviest burden is a great potential”. Wouldn’t it be overwhelming if we always had to do what we imagine we could do? Nobody has the time and energy to do all of that. We must make choices about what we will pursue and do them the best we can under the circumstance (which aren’t always ideal, by the way).

Over-generalizing

Another thing that might cause you not to accept yourself is over-generalizing about something you’ve done that you don’t like. So, for example, if you fail a colloquium you might generalize and say, “I’m really a stupid person.” When you do this you are making a statement about all of you all of the time and not just about this one situation at this time was indeed poor and then go on to decide what you want to do about your poor grade, if anything. Getting stuck in over-generalizing discourages you from taking steps that might allow you to do better on the next exam and builds an expectation of future failure.

Moralistic Self-judgment

One way to really dislike yourself is to always judge yourself in a very moralistic way. People often spend a lot of time and energy labeling their behavior with moral adjectives such as “bad”, “hateful” and “mean”. When you apply these kinds of words to yourself you make liking yourself much more difficult. There is a more productive way of looking at yourself that will allow you to begin to like yourself more. Instead of evaluating yourself in this moralistic way, begin to ask questions like: “Did I do what I really wanted to do in this situation?” “How can I correct the misunderstanding that occurred?” In other words, you can start to view what you’ve done as productive or non-productive rather than as good or bad. If something is non-productive, you can focus on what you have learned form it and try another approach that might be more productive.

Learn To Accept Yourself

We are not born doubting ourselves. We learn to do it. In fact, we are usually taught to doubt ourselves. Often we are taught to do so by otherwise well-meaning people who are passing along their own doubts and uncertainties and who believe they are being protective and caring. What these people (usually parents and other significant adults) want are strong, capable and self-confident people, but they often inadvertently teach us thought processes that lead to something else. That’s the bad news. The good news is that we can understand some of these processes and learn new ways of coping that allow us to become more accepting of ourselves. Following are six behaviors you may have learned that can be unlearned and allow you to move toward greater self-acceptance. (will be continue)

How Imagery, Positive Thinking and Suggestion Help Self-confidence

Imagery is useful in building self-confidence, but only if properly applied.

Imagery should be used to imagine achievement of a goal that is being worked towards in order to help you to believe that that goal is attainable.

It should only be used, however, where you are rationally aware that you have the raw ability to achieve a goal if you stretch yourself, but if psychological factors such as lack of emotional self-confidence are interfering with your ability to achieve. For many years psychologists have advocated use of imagery, positive thinking and suggestion without stressing that it should be based on a rational assessment of abilities. This can easily lead to overconfidence and serious failure.