成长须靠自己

能接受变化、以及不断适应环境的人，才是可以获得成功的胜利者；至於不能应付变化的人，终其一生只能消耗自己的肉体和精神。

不过，成长是件困难的事，这点从大自然的种种变化即可明白。植物从坚硬的地面萌芽，或是从石头的缝隙中钻出、开花，严苛的自然环境锻链植物，让植物不断成长。如果不能战胜大自然的试链，植物便会遭到淘汰而枯萎死亡。

植物存在的目的是为了成长开花，是为了能够生生不息地繁衍下去，植物具备坚强的韧性，为了繁衍而不断面对挑战，这无疑是适者生存的最佳范例。

人也与植物一样，拥有了生活目标，即使遇到困难也要顺应变化。为什么呢?因为，这是成长，成长给予人适者生存的力量。

但是，想要成长的精神和意念必须由内在涌出。植物并没有受到任何的勉强，是靠自己努力伸出缝隙而成长，我们也是如此，即使有障碍，也要不断向前，像植物一样用自己的力量成长。

虽然亲友的鼓励也是一种力量，但要成长终究必须依靠自己，这是无法躲避的事实。

成长，是指具备尝试新事物的勇气与自信。

在成长的过程中，就像树木掉落枯叶一般，也意味著舍弃旧时代和跟不上潮流的事物。其中因为我们完全不知道前方有什么在等著自己。
但是无论如何，请向未知的国度探险，同时将目光朝向有趣的，或是让你感到兴奋的事物。

虽然成长有时也意谓著痛苦，但成长是否值得付出相对的痛苦?答案的选择在於自己。

因为，要完全仰赖他人，还是要历经一番痛苦，用自己的力量度过属於自己的人生，该如何选择，决定权都在自己手中。

成长应有的态度

所谓的成长是不怕辛苦、竭尽全力的接近目标。如果仔细观察婴儿成长的过程，你会发现，幼小的婴儿总会伸手去抓取食物、玩具和玩伴之类的动物。
在抓取的过程中，他们往往会遇到障碍，不是东西放得太高拿不到、就是一碰东西就滚下来，或是小皮球滾到房间里去，但是幼儿仍然不会放弃，依旧不断追逐想要的东西。

等稍稍长大之後，他们就不只是想用手抓，即使遇到无法办到的事情也绝不放弃，因为他们相信自己，认为自己一定可以做到，而且这时还不知道什么是怀疑。

小孩通常会努力完成决心要做的事，这就是小孩单纯明快的行动表现。但大人行动的过程却十分复杂。大人心中有许多不得不怀疑的事情和经验，也参杂著不想被人嘲笑的心情，周遭亲友失败的经验也会掠过脑海，就这样，经常会有放弃计划的想法产生。

就像喜欢慢跑的我，或许能改变这些消极的想法。慢跑与散步完全是两回事，散步是慢慢地消磨时间，时而驻足看看风景、时而与中途相遇的朋友一同散步聊天，或是停下来擦擦汗等。但慢跑的人则不做这些事，即使有美丽的风景，即使遇到朋友，即使满头大汗，也会持续以一定的节奏跑下去，绝对不停下来。

不只是这样，我是为了健康流汗而跑，为了锻链身体而跑，所以如果不勉强自己，就无法达到锻链的目的。因为要不断提升自己的体力，所以一点也不介意严格的练习与痛苦。

一心朝目标前进的姿态，与这种慢跑的姿态相同，或多或少都要接受某种程度的勉强。也许不必像跑步的人那样气喘如牛，忍受筋骨肌肉疲劳和遭受风雨，但同样的，仍有其他考验等著，而这些考验正可以锻链勇於迈向目标的人。

失败往往来自於「散步心态』。时时训练自己的话，希望的事物会变得容易到手，若只是像散步一样随波逐流，那么不仅任何地方都到不了，也不是成长所应有的态度。

The Moethods Of Practicing Economy

The methods of practicing economy are very simple. Spend less than you earn. That is the first rule. A portion should always be set apart for the future. The person who spends more than he earns, is not wise.

The next rule is to pay ready money and never borrow with “Ah Long” to run into debt.

The person who runs into debt is apt to get cheated and if he runs into debt to any extent, he will himself be apt to get dishonest. "Who pays what he owes, enriches himself."

The next is, never to anticipate uncertain profits by expending them before they are secured. The profits may never come, and in that case you will have taken upon yourself a load of debt which you may never get rid of.

Another method of economy is, to keep a regular account of all that you earn, and of all that you expend. An orderly man will know beforehand what he requires, and will be provided with the necessary means for obtaining it. Thus his domestic budget will be balanced; and his expenditure kept within his income.

It is difficult to fix the precise limits of economy. If a man would live well within his income, he ought not to expend more than one-haft, and save the rest. This is perhaps too exacting. What proportion of one' s income should be expended on housing loan? That depends upon circumstances.

Wherever there is a large family, the more money that is put to one side and saved, the better. Economy is necessary to the moderately rich, as well as to the comparatively poor man. Without economy, a man can’t be generous. He can’t take part in the charitable work of the world.

If he spends all that he earns, he can’t help anybody. He can’t properly educate his children, nor put them in the way of starting fairly in the business of life. Thousands of witnesses daily testify, that men even of the most moderate intelligence, can practice the virtue with success.

Men of all classes are, as yet, too little influenced by these considerations. They are apt to live beyond their incomes.

To save money for avaricious purposes is altogether different from saving it for economical purposes. The saving may be accomplished in the same manner--by wasting nothing, and saving everything. But here the comparison ends. The miser's only pleasure is in saving. The prudent economist spends what he can afford for comfort and enjoyment, and saves a surplus for some future time. The avaricious person makes gold his idol, whereas the thrifty person regards it as a useful instrument, and as a means of promoting his own happiness and the happiness of those who are dependent upon him. The miser is never satisfied. He amasses wealth that he can never consume, but leaves it to be squandered by others, probably by spend thrifts; whereas the economist aims at securing a fair share of the world' s wealth and comfort, without any thought of amassing a fortune.

There is a dignity in the very effort to save with a worthy purpose, even though the attempt should not be crowned with eventual success. It produces a well-regulated mind; it gives prudence a triumph over extravagance; it gives virtue the mastery over vice; it puts the passions under control; it drives away care; it Secures comfort. Saved money, however little, will serve to dry up many a tear will ward off many sorrows and heart burnings, which otherwise might prey upon us. Possessed of a little store of capital, a man walks with a lighter step--his heart beats more cheerily.

When interruption of work or adversity happens, he can meet them; he can recline on his capital, which will either break his fall, or prevent it altogether. By prudential economy, we can realize the dignity of man; life will be a blessing.

感恩的心

当代杰出的科学家霍金，深受世人的欢迎和景仰。景仰他，不仅仅因为他在科学上有巨大成就，更因为他面对逆境时有坚强的斗志。

有一次，在他的学术报告会结束之际，一位年轻的女记者捷足跷上讲坛，面对这位已在轮椅上生活了三十余年的科学巨匠，深深景仰之余，又不无悲悯地问：“霍金先生，卢伽雷病已将你永远固定在轮椅上，你不认为命运让你失去太多了吗?”

霍金用还能活动的手指，艰难地叩击键盘，于是，随着合成器发出的标准伦敦音，宽大的投影屏上缓慢然而醒目地显示出如下一段文字：

我的手指还能活动，
我的大脑还能思维，
我终身追求理想，
有我爱和爱我的亲人和朋友，
对了，我还有一颗感恩的心……

瞬间，全场掌声雷动。人们纷纷涌到台前，向这位非凡的科学家表示由衷的敬意。

人们深受感动的，并不是因为他曾经历苦难，而是他面对苦难时的坚定、乐观和勇气。人生如花开花谢，潮涨潮落，有得便有失，有苦也有乐。只有那些自以为失去得太多并总受到这个思想折磨的人，才是最不幸的。

常言道：人生不如意事十常八九。倘若心为物役，患得患失，就只会被悲观、绝望窒息心智。人生的路途注定是如负重登山，举步维艰了。常想用心感恩、庆幸和珍惜人生中那如意的十之一二，最终以那份豁达与坚韧去化解并超越苦难。

常想一二，毕竟，决定生命品质，塑造人生境界的，不是八九，而是一二；常想一二，就是用心感恩。庆幸，珍惜人生中那如意的十之一二。

只要我们有一颗感恩的心，我们就能发现生活中虽有些不如意，但时时处处都有值得我们感激的人和事；只要我们有一颗感恩的心，我们就会明白我们生活虽有些乌云，但是再见阳光总在风雨过后。

掌控自己的情绪

今天在报摊上买报纸，並礼貌地对报贩说了声谢谢，但报贩却冷口冷脸，没发一言。

这家伙的态度很差，是不是? 他每天都是这个样子的。那么为什么一大早我们要让他决定我的日常行为呢?”

每人心中都有把“快乐的钥匙”，但我们却常在不知不觉中把它交给别人掌管。

一位太太抱怨道：“我活得很不快乐，因为我丈夫常应酬不在家。”她把快乐的钥匙放在丈夫的手里。

一位妈妈说：“我的孩子叛逆不听话，叫我很生气!”她把钥匙交在孩子的手中。

有人可能会说：上司不赏识我，所以我情绪低落。这把快乐的钥匙又被塞在老板的手里。

这些人都做了相同的决定，就是让别人来控制自己的心情。你大可不必为了室友一句无心的话而影响了整天的情绪。

当我们容许别人掌控我们的情绪时，我们便觉得自己是受害者。于是，抱怨与愤怒成为我们唯一的选择。我们开始怪罪他人，并且传递一个讯息：“我这样痛苦，都是别人造成的。别人要为我的痛苦负责!”

开启快乐之门的钥匙是在自己手中，不在别人手里。别让别人掌控自己的情绪。一个成熟的人能掌握住自己快乐的钥匙。他不需要期待别人使他快乐，反而能将自己的快乐与幸福带给周围的人。

快乐无处不在

有一次到在沙巴亜庇。朋友带我去了一个当地颇有名的菜市场。

那天，天气并不好，但市场并非鱼腥刺鼻，迎面而来的是水果贩们欢乐的笑声。他们面带笑容，像协作无间的篮球队员，让绿绿的西瓜像篮球一样，在空中飞来飞去，大家互相唱和。这是多么轻快的生活，充满了乐趣和欢笑。

我困惑不解地问当地一个水果贩：“你们在这种环境下工作，为什么还能保持愉快的心情呢?”他说：“几年前的这个菜市场本来也是一个毫无生气的地方，大家整天抱怨。后来，大家认为与其每天抱怨，不如改变生活的品质。于是，我们不再抱怨，而是把水果当成一种艺术。”就是在这种心境之下，水果贩们一个创意接着另一个创意，一串笑声接着另一串笑声，让菜市场提升了知名度。

他说，大伙练习多了，人人身手不凡，可以和NBA球员相媲美。这种工作气氛还影响了附近的上班族，他们常到这儿探访水果贩，感染他们寓工作于娱乐的好心情。

有些没有办法提升公司员工士气的主管还专程跑到这里来请教：“为什么你们一整天在这个充满腥味的地方做苦工，竟然还能这样快乐?”他们已习惯给人排疑解难，“实际上，并不是生活亏待了我们，而是我们期望太高以至忽略了生活的乐趣。”

有时候，水果贩们还会邀请顾客接西瓜。即使是厌恶腥味的人，也很乐意在热情的掌声中一试再试，意犹未尽。每个愁眉不展的人进了这个菜市场，都会笑逐颜开地离开。

生活中的我们可能会有一些不如意的事情，也可能会失去一些东西，但我们不能失去好的心情，生活中的快乐无处不在，只是被我们忽视而已。能从平凡简单的日常生活中发现快乐并幸福地享受生活，是人生的一种智慧，一种境界。伊浚，你走遍了半个欧洲，也看到欧洲人快乐地享受其生活並乐于助人。你可以把他们那种快乐的心情带到俄罗斯去，而非被俄罗斯人的冷酷无情影响了你的情绪。

吃亏也是福

有一位年轻人，大学刚毕业就进入出版社做助理编辑。他的文笔不错，但更可贵的，是他的工作态度。

那时出版社正在进行一套丛书的编辑工作。每个人都很忙，但老板并没有增加人手的打算。于是编辑部的人也被派去帮忙打印部和业务部。但整个编辑部只有那个年轻人接受老板的指派，其他的都是去一两次就不愿意去了。

人家说：他太吃亏了。他却笑着说：“吃亏也是占便宜嘛!”

事实上也看不出他有什么便宜可占，因为他要帮忙包书，送书，就像个杂工一样!他真是个任劳任怨的员工。后来他又去业务部，参与直销的工作。此外，连取稿，跑印刷厂，邮寄……只要开口要求，他都乐意帮忙!

“反正吃亏就是占便宜嘛!”他总这么说。

出版社的老板移民，出版社也就结束了。两年后，年轻人自己成立了一家出版公司，做得还不错。

原来他是在吃亏的同时，把一家出版社的编辑、发行、直销等工作都全学会了。他真的是占了大便宜啊!

多服务他人，方便他人，多做点分外的事，自能广结善缘，广开门路。这样一来，吃亏也可以是福，也可以是事业成功的资粮。当你幫医科毕业生做点分外事，在他们毕业典礼上助其一辟之力，结果他们毕业回国了，都把书籍用品留给你。不是如此吗？

保持心境愉快，提高学习效率

米歇尔先生曾是法国摩托车队队员。一九九七年，他与一位中国姑娘结婚后来到中国。他自筹资金组建了中国摩托车队，由他任队长和教练。他的队员都是一些普通的摩托车运动爱好者，许多人还是上班族，他们只能利用业余时间进行训练。车队组建后的第二年，也就是一九九八年，米歇尔和队员代表中国参加了国际摩托车大赛，在四十五支参赛队伍中名列倒数第一名。但车队在二OOO年上升至第十五名，二OO一年进入了世界前三强，到二OO二年和二OO，三年均获世界第一名。

在强手如云的世界摩托车大赛中，没有雄厚的资金，又没有专业的车手，米歇尔和他的车队是怎样创造这个奇迹的呢?在接受中央电视台体育频道的记者采访时，米歇尔并没有谈他怎样带领队员克服困难、勤学苦练之类的事迹。他只谈了一点，他说成功源于他有一个积极投人生活和工作的秘诀，那就是坚决不让自己不愉快的情绪延续超过五分钟。米歇尔举例说，他每次与人争吵后，会马上走开独自静一静。只要过了五分钟，不论谁有理，谁无理，他都会主动去赔礼道歉，跟与他争吵的人重归于好；这样便消除烦恼，重新找回快乐的心境和友好的氛围。

烦恼就像一根打了结的绳子，一头牵着自己，一头牵着他人。我们越是和烦恼过不去，这个结就会越紧，烦恼就越多。如果为了这些烦恼而消耗我们大量的精力和时间，破坏和谐友好的工作气氛，我们怎么能积极地，全力以赴地投入到工作中去呢?米歇尔的车队又怎么能圆成功之梦呢?让烦恼只留五分钟，这正是及时解“结”的好办法，也是走向成功的重要法门。只要主动及时地解开自己心中的“结”，他人心中的“结”也就能自然地解开了。

烦恼只留五分钟，这是米歇尔取得成功的秘诀，同样也可以成为我们每个人获取成功的秘诀。我们生活中遇上许多问题(或“结”)，原因之一是我们无法放下上一个当下的烦恼，让这个烦恼停留在我们的脑海里纠缠着不放。这样下来，我们老是想着上一个当下的不快，哪能集中精神，专注地做好这一个当下的事呢? 假如你上课前跟室友吵了嘴，又老是想着吵嘴的不快，你哪能专注地学好课业呢? 让烦恼只留五分钟，然后放下，是保持心境愉快，提高学习效率的好方法。

怨恨循环，用宽容化解

一家公司的老板正在气头上，于是他对下属经理大声呵斥。

经理回到家里对妻子大声呵斥，说她太浪费了，因为他看到餐桌上的饭菜太丰盛了。

妻子对儿子大声呵斥，因为他干什么都慢吞吞的。儿子对女佣大声呵斥，因为女佣打碎了一个碟子。

女佣没好气地去扔碟子，伤着了一位路上的行人。

行人是一位妇人，她一番吵闹后赶紧去医院疗伤。她对护士大声呵斥，因为护士在搽药时弄疼了她。

护士回到家里对母亲大声呵斥，因为母亲做的饭菜不合她的口味。

母亲并不生气，只是温和地对她说：“孩子，明天我一定做合你口味的菜。你忙了一天一定很累，吃了饭就好好休息吧，我已给你换了一床新被子……”

“怨恨循环”终于在这位慈母浓浓的亲情里化解掉。

生活中免不了有时会有些怨恨的情绪，而怨恨最容易感染和循环。当你遇到“怨恨循环”时，你不妨试一试，用宽容和爱心去化解它，说不定你还能启动一个善与爱的循环呢。

不如意事十之八九

一位旅客在旅途中听到路边传来一阵悠扬悦耳伪歌声，像秋日的晴空一样明朗，又像夏日的泉水一样甘甜。旅客于是向着歌声的来处走，终于找到了歌者。歌者微笑着接待那位旅客，并请他到家中小坐品茗。

旅客于是问：“先生，从你的歌声听来，你的心间充满快乐自在。是不是你的事业和家庭都很美满，很如意？农活的收成也很好? 好像你没有经历什么挫折或不顺心的事。 烦恼和忧愁都没有叩过你的家门呢!”

歌者摇了摇头，说：“不，你错了，其实就在今天早上，我还丢了一匹马呢，那是我唯一的一匹马。”

“唯一的一匹马都丢了，那你还能唱歌?”

“我当然要唱了。你试想想：我已失去了心爱的马，如果我再失去平日的好心情，那我岂不是要蒙受双重损失了吗?”

语云：“不如意事十之八九”。有时，事情的结果与 我们的期望有所出入。人生起落在所难免。成败得失，背后都有其因缘。与其因失败或挫折而沮丧失落或怨天尤人，不如冷静地观照一下挫败背后的因缘，并努力改善这些因缘或相关条件。多种善囚，广结善缘，日后成功的机会就更大了。

Don't Afraid to Live Your Dreams?

"Hold it!” you say, “I’m waiting for the perfect time,” or “I’m waiting for the perfect situation.” All this waiting is an excuse not to go out and try.

So, don’t afraid of making a mistake? Don’t afraid of making the wrong choice” Don’t afraid that you may not be good enough? And what if the people around you laugh at your dreams, or don’t support you? Is that enough for you to just give up?

Fear is the number one reason that people do not live their dreams. Fear holds us back, sometimes paralyzing us and prevents us from moving forward. But, when you look back at your life, what do you want it to be about? Do you want to say, “I could have,” or “I did?” The choice is yours, what words do you want to come out of your mouth?

So how do you move past your fears and live your dreams? Follow these easy steps:

1. Acknowledge that you have dreams.
2. Write down your dreams.
3. Break your dreams into small steps.
4. Face the barriers that are keeping you from living your dreams.
5. Find people who will support you.
6. Pat yourself on the back for your successes.
7. Recognize that fear will not go away.

The only way past fear is through it and not around it. You can do it!

So, feel the fear and live your dreams anyway! There are no guarantees, but the rewards are plentiful if you believe in yourself. No one is going to live your dreams for you. It’s up to you to create your own life. Why not have that life filled with dreams?

中庸之道

伊浚:
人在他乡，处人处事都要保持中庸之道。为什么中国人讲中庸之道？因为不偏，偏了就不中，就没有行中道。怎样理解？所以，傲慢的人他一定会自卑，傲慢和自卑是孿生先弟。为什么？因为一个傲慢的人他的心不夠平静，他可能因自己的才华而傲慢，他就会因才华而自卑，因为一山比一山高他遇到比他能干的人他就会嫉妒。他如果因为自已的财富而傲慢，恃才傲物，因为自已财大氣粗而傲慢，他也会因财富而自卑，一旦财富没有了，破産了，他將觉得整个人生垮下来。因为他安住的地方不对，安住的都是外在的东西。而一个人真要安，怎样才能安？一定是内心的穩，内心的安才是让我们的人生愈走愈平穩。绝对不会因外在的條件变化，而让我们的内心受到任何影响。祝万事如意。

成败的关键

在洛阳郊外的净土寺里，有一位少年出家的小和尚。他学佛十分精进，干活亦十分勤奋。每天大清早就起来担水、打扫；做过早课后就去山后的市镇采购寺中一天所需的日常用品。回来后，还要按方丈的安排再干不少杂活，晚上还要读经到深夜；就这样，晨钟暮鼓中，十年过去了。

有一天，这位小和尚稍有闲暇，便和其他小和尚一起聊天，发现别人的日子都过得很清闲，只有他一人整天在忙忙碌碌。他发现，虽然别的小和尚偶尔也会被分派下山买东西，但他们去的都是山前的市镇，路途平坦，路程也短，买的东西也大多是些比较轻便的。而十年来方丈一直让他去寺后的市镇，要翻越两座山，道路崎岖难行，回来时肩上自然要多了很重的物品。于是，小和尚不无疑惑地去找方丈，问：“为什么别人的日子都过得比我清闲呢?没有人要他们干活读经，而我却要每天干个不停呢?”方丈只是低吟了一声佛号，微笑不语。

第二天中午，当小和尚扛着一袋小米从后山走来时，发现方丈正站在寺的后门旁等着他。方丈把他带到寺的前门，坐在那里闭目不语，小和尚不明所以，便侍立在一旁。日已偏西，前面山路上出现了几个小和尚的身影，当他们看到方丈时，一下愣住了。方丈睁开眼睛，问那几个小和尚：“我一大早让你们去买盐，路这么近，又这么平坦，怎么回来得这么晚呢?”那几个小和尚面面相觑，说：“方丈，我们说说笑笑，看看风景，就到这个时候了。十年了，每天都是这样的啊!”

方丈又问身旁侍立的小和尚：“山后的市镇那么远，翻山越岭，山路崎岖，你又扛了那么重的东西，为什么回来得还要早些呢?”小和尚说： “我每天在路上都想着早去．早回，由于肩上的东西重，我才更小心地走，所以反而走得稳，走得快。十年了，我已养成习惯，心里只有目标，没有道路了!”

方丈闻言一笑，说： “道路子坦了，心反而不在目标上了。只有在坎坷的路上行走，才能磨炼一个人的心志啊!”

几个月后，寺里举行了一次考核，从体力到毅力，从经书到悟性，面面俱全。小和尚由于有了十年的磨炼，所以在众僧中脱颖而出，被选拔到京师长安参学进修。在众僧羡慕和钦佩的目光中，小和尚坚毅地走出了寺门。

当年的小和尚就是后来的玄奘法师。多年后，在西行求法的路上，虽水阻山隔，艰险重重，他那坚毅的意志却从来不曾动摇。

学医的道路曲折坎坷并不是通向人生目标的最大障碍，一个人的心志才是成败的关键。只要心中的灯火不曾熄灭，即使道路再崎岖难行，前途也是一片光明!

苦与乐

一位少妇到老中医那里求诊，她已经多日辗转无眠，茶饭不进，身体日渐消瘦……

老中医给她切过脉，观过舌象，便说：“你心中有太多的苦恼事，体有虚火，并无大病。”少妇听了如遇知音，于是便倾诉心中的种种烦恼。

老中医又问起她的另外一些情况：“丈夫对你感情如何?”少妇脸上有了笑容，说： “很疼爱我，结婚十年从未红过脸。”老中医又问：“是否有孩子?”少妇眼里闪出光彩，说：“有个女儿，很聪明，也很懂事。”

老中医边问边写，然后把写满字的两张纸放到少妇面前。一张写着她的烦恼事，一张写着她的快乐事，对少妇说：“这两张纸就是治病的药方，你把苦恼事看得太重了，忽视了身边的快乐。”说着，老中医让徒弟取来一盆水和一只猪苦胆。只见他把胆汁滴入水盆中，那浓绿色的胆汁在水中淡开，很快便不见了踪影。老中医说：“胆汁入水，苦味变淡，人生亦是如此。”

人生路上，不少人过分重视生活中的挫折与苦难，其实，我们生活中的乐趣和喜悦亦比比皆是、如能用快乐之水冲淡苦味，则日子会过得更称意。

无心非名为错

伊浚:

人犯错有两种，一种是无心，一种是有心。过失有还两种，一种是”无心非，名为错”，一种是” 有心非，名为悪” 。不管有心无心，你当下改了，这个过就没有了，促但是你迾还去淹蓋过失，那就是错上加错。当大家考试作弊，你不犯，反而成为大家的笑柄。什么原因？那是因大家心裡沒有一把判断是非善悪的尺子，若我们沒有尺子，就会人云亦云，覺得大家作弊，我作弊也没关係。你要有正确的判断力，才能夠做对的事情。祝学以專长，备以后用。

换个角度看问题

小李在一家俱乐部里演奏爵士乐，收入虽然不高，但他总是乐呵呵的，对什么事都表现出乐观的态度。他常说：“太阳落山了，还会升起来；太阳升起来，也会落下去。世事无常，所以还是看开点好。”

小李喜欢汽车，但靠他的收入想拥有—辆汽车是不太可能的。他常对朋友说：“要是有一辆汽车该有多好啊。”这个时候，他的眼里总是充满了向往，，于是有人建议他：“你可以去买万能彩票啊，也许老天爷可以让你梦想成真呢!”

小李于是抱着试一试的态度，去了买万能彩票。可能真的是老天爷眷顾他，他买的那张万能彩票居然中了头奖。

小李用全部的奖金为自己买了一辆二手汽车，并常常开着心爱的新车在大街上兜风。碰到需要搭车的人，他总是乐意送他们一程。可他也没有忘记从前，仍旧每天去俱乐部演奏爵士乐。

然而有一天，他的车竟丢了。那天晚上，他把车停在住处外边。第二天，当他出门的时候，发现心爱的汽车被人盗走了。

朋友们得知这个消息，想到他爱车如命，而现在一夜之间车丢了，都担心他受不了这个打击。便安慰他：“不要太难过了，以后还有机会的。”

想不到小李竟笑着说：“我为什么要难过?’朋友们都疑惑地互相看着，心里在想：“也许，他可能是受到了强烈的刺激，有些失常。”

“如果你们有谁丢了两块钱，会难过吗?’’小李问。

“当然不会!”朋友们说。

“是啊，我丢的就是那两块钱啊!”小李笑着说。

“对，你丢的只是两块钱而已!”朋友们笑了，他们知道不用再为小李担忧了。

日常生活中，偶尔换个角度看问题，烦恼与悲哀也可以变成快乐。

例如：最近校方安排我到怡保某独中去做教学分享。我与其满心不悦，不如想想：这说明上司看重我，否则为什么不找别人做?而且这也是一个锻炼能力的好机会啊。看见校园有垃圾在地上，我或许可以这样想：把它拾起来，这是个锻炼腰力的好机会啊。女朋友跟您约会却迟到了，与其光火而令约会不欢而散，不妨解嘲一下说：“幸好您来了，刚好有只雀鸟一直在我头上飞。它把我当成一棵树，正打算在我头上筑巢呢!”女朋友会心微笑之余，或许会给你加分呢。

钱包丢失了，虽然心痛但不必太过憂伤，何况失去的款额不多，银行卡和学生卡都能再申请过。只要去处理就没事了。往后对自己的重要的文件须谨慎保管好，不要太粗心大意。

人生的价值

伊浚，

在你学医的过程中，是否有提升了自己的專业知识，是不是真的以后可以提供别人有用的价值？请不要因自己拥有很多才能而骄傲，也不要妄自菲薄而自卑。一个人真正的价值，其实建立在别人的需要上，愈多人需要你，你的价值就愈高。人生若能被人需要，能夠有一份功能为人付出，这才是最幸福的人生。换句话说，多一主动提供别人一些具体的帮助，你能够成全愈多的人，你的人生就愈成功。祝出入平安，事事顺利。

沙俄侵占中亚和阿拉斯加

沙俄侵占中亚细亚
18世纪中期，沙俄开始侵入哈萨克(Kazakh)西北部。从19世纪30年代起，沙皇政府主要采取蚕食手段，或通过军事入侵，或以“自愿归顺”为名，逐步占领中亚北部的草原地区。六、七十年代，沙皇政府相继征服了中亚南部的三个国家，即浩罕汗国(Kokand Khanate)、布哈拉汗国(Bukhara Khanate)和希瓦汗国(Khiva Khanate)，把它们并入了帝国版图。接着，沙俄又征服了中亚最后一个地区土库曼(Turkmen)，完成了对包括哈萨克人、吉尔吉斯人、乌兹别克人和土库曼人居住的中亚细亚广大地区的占领。

沙俄占领阿拉斯加
阿拉斯加位于北美洲的西北角。1784年，俄国殖民者开始在阿拉斯加西海岸建立殖民据点。到18世纪末，沙俄在北太平洋的势力已扩展到阿拉斯加内陆地区和阿留申群岛(Aleutian Island)，把这个号称“毛皮王国”的广大地区变成它的殖民地。

沙俄侵占中国领土

17世纪对中国黑龙江流域的侵略

1643年，驻雅库茨克的俄国统领派波雅科夫(Poliakov)组成远征军，越过外兴安岭，侵入中国黑龙江流域。1651年，沙俄殖民者强占了中国黑龙江中游的交通枢纽雅克萨，井在那里筑堡屯兵，作为进一步入侵中国的据点。沙俄殖民者四处捕捉人质、抢劫粮食、勒索贡税，遭到当地居民和清朝军队的坚决抵抗。1686年，清军进军雅克萨，打败俄军。

1689年，中俄两国经过平等协商，签订了第一个边界条约——(尼布楚条约)，明文规定格尔毕齐河、额尔古纳河和外兴安岭为两国东段分界线。这在法律上肯定了外兴安岭以南的黑龙江和乌苏里江流域，包括库页岛(Sakhalin)，都是中国领土。在谈判中，中国政府作出重大让步，同意将贝加尔湖以东地区换取沙俄撤离雅克萨城堡。

19世纪侵占中国东北、西北大片领土

19世纪中期，西方列强大举入侵中国，沙皇俄国侵略中国的野心又起。19世纪50年代初期，沙俄以武力强占丁中国黑龙江以北的大片领土和库页岛的部分地区。之后，沙俄继续扩张政策，夺取东北和西北大片领土。在不到半个世纪的时间里，沙皇俄国总共从中国夺去150万平方公里的土地。

俄罗斯沙皇跨过乌拉山脉

俄罗斯原是一个欧洲的内陆国家。自第一代沙皇伊凡四世以来，历代沙皇都积极地向外侵略扩张，企图建立一个地跨欧亚的大帝国。

早在16世纪中期，俄国的东部疆界已推进到里海(CaspianSea)和乌拉山脉(Ural Mountains)一带。16世纪下半期，沙皇俄国跨过乌拉山脉，开始侵入亚洲。首先遭到吞并的是位于乌拉山脉以东、鄂毕河(Ob River)中游的失比儿(Sibir)汗国。17世纪，沙俄殖民者从鄂毕河扩张到叶尼塞河(YeniseiRiver)，又从叶尼塞河扩张到勒拿河(LenaRiver)，并在勒拿河中游建立雅库茨克(Yakutsk)，这里后来成为沙俄侵略者进一步东侵的重要基地。到17世纪末，大部分西伯利亚(Siberia)土地已被沙俄侵占。

“西伯利亚”原指位于乌拉山脉以东的失比儿汗国，俄国人称这个国家为西伯利亚汗国。“西伯利亚”一词就是由"失比儿”一词转译而来的。后来，俄国殖民者在征服失比儿汗国后，继续向东扩张，将他们所征服的亚洲北部地区统称为“西伯利亚”。

沙俄侵略者的足迹也延伸到亚洲的东北部分。1648年，沙俄侵略者到达白令海(Bering Sea)，首次证明亚洲和美洲两个大陆是隔海相望的。第二年，俄国殖民者在鄂霍次克海(Sea of Okhotsk)边建立了鄂霍次克城。17世纪末，沙俄又占领了堪察加(Kamchatka)半岛的大部分地区。至此，在不到一个半世纪里，沙俄就从乌拉山脉扩张到太平洋沿岸，其规模之大，速度之快，是极为罕见的。

俄罗斯专制王权的兴起

莫斯科公国不断兼并周围的公国。大公伊凡三世(1van III，1462—1505在位)靠馈赠金银等手段，得到蒙古统治者的重用。15世纪，钦察汗国分裂，伊凡三世乘机扩大领域；1480年，又迫使前来讨伐的钦察汗国军队退却，取得独立。他铲除不听命的贵族，集中军权，自称沙皇(Czar)，为专制制度奠定了基础。

伊凡四世(Ivan IV，1533—1584在位)是个狂暴专制的君主。他无情镇压贵族的叛乱，加强军力，制定法典，确立了沙皇专制政体，并且进一步扩大了疆土。

俄国长期接受蒙古和东罗马帝国的影响，基督教也是从君士坦丁堡传入的东正教，与西方接触不多，又盛行农奴制，因此一直比较落后。彼得一世(又称彼得大帝，Peter the Great，1682—1725在位)当政以后，努力使俄国西方化。他曾微服考察西欧，回国后即进行经济、政治机构、军事、教育各方面的改革。他的另一个目标是为俄国取得出海口，为此与瑞典和土耳其进行战争。1703年，俄国从瑞典夺得涅瓦河(Neva River)口的土地，在这里兴建新都圣彼得堡(St．Petersburg)，后来又夺取了波罗的海东岸地区。黑海的出海口是在喀德琳二世(CatherineⅡ，1762—1796在位)时取得的。她还联同奥、普瓜分波兰，使俄国成为一个强国。

俄罗斯兴起

13世纪初，蒙古帝国在亚洲东部兴起。它的西征，震惊了欧洲。俄罗斯亦处于蒙古人的统治下。后来，以莫斯科(Moscow)为中心的莫斯科公国日渐强大，并于1480年打败统治那里的蒙古人，摆脱了蒙古人的奴役。16世纪早期，以莫斯科公国为中心，形成了统一的俄罗斯。
俄罗斯是东部斯拉夫人的国家，是以莫斯科公国(Grand Duchy of Moscow)为中心发展起来。13世纪初，蒙古帝国在亚洲东部兴起。它的西征，震惊了欧洲。俄罗斯亦处于蒙古人的统治下，曾臣属于蒙古人的钦察汗国(Empire of Kipchak)。16世纪早期，以莫斯科(Moscow)为中心的莫斯科公国日渐强大，并于1480年打败统治那里的蒙古人，摆脱了蒙古人的奴役而独立，以后不断扩张，发展为统一的俄罗斯国家。

完美与不完美

有位教授正在准备他明天讲课的教材，可是他的小儿子却在一边吵闹不休，要爸爸带他出外玩。教授无可奈何，便随手拾起一本旧杂志，把杂志后面的一幅世界地图撕成碎片，丢在地上。然后，对儿子说：“如果你能拼好这张地图，我就带你出去玩。”

教授以为这样会使儿子花上整整半天的时间，那么他自己就可以静心工作了。但是，不到十分钟，儿子就敲了他的 房门，手中拿着那份拼得完完整整的地图。教授对儿子很快就拼好了这幅世界地图感到十分惊讶，便问：“孩子，你怎会这么快就拼好了地图?”

“噢!”儿子说，“这很容易，爸爸。地图的背面有一个人的照片。我就把这个人的照片拼到了一起，然后把它翻过来。我想如果这个人拼对了，那么世界地图也就拼对了。”

教授肯定了儿子的判断，便带他去邻近的公园好好玩了一整天。并对他说：“孩子，你真聪明!你替我准备好了明天教课的好题目：换一面看问题，你的世界也会是对的。”

看到乌云时，也要看到它周围的光边。光边表示乌云的背后就是阳光。换个方向，你可能会看到光明。

世界上的完美与不完美，是同时存在的。就像黑夜与白天，嚴冬与夏日，是如此相存相依的。因为有黑夜的深暗，才能彰顕白天的明媚，因为有冬日的嚴寒，才能感受夏日的暖热。

遇到生命中的不完美时，反而应该感到期待，因为生命中的完美，在下一刻也许就会出现。

Stress Make You Young

You must have heard stress contributes to 80% of major illness and is responsible for 75% to 90% of doctor’s visits. But that’s not stress; it’s distress. “Stress is the only anti aging agent we know of the exact opposite of what we think,” says psychologist James E. Loehr.

Stress is a biochemical reaction, the fight or flight adrenal rush that readies a body for short term challenges, such as a tired pilot making an emergency landing. The adrenal gland releases cortical, which in the short term increases immune cells to kill damaged or infected cells.

Stress is essential. Life without it would be like having a new Porsche and driving only in the driveway.

What really brings happiness is meeting obstacles and overcoming them. The damage occurs when stress levers never go down. A recent study showed it took nine days longer for the constantly stressed family caregivers of chronically ill patients to heal from wounds than it took other people the same age. It’s not stress that’s issue; it’s insufficient intermittent recovery.

The key to taking stress head on is being relaxed. The traditional vacation week off here or there is not enough to really recharge. Power vacations are the ticket, even if they’re just changing venues for an afternoon. Make mini “vacations” routine, even you don’t have to go anywhere at all, physically, as long as your mind is somewhere else.

罗米街的老雜货店—华晟

亲爱的婆婆：

罗米街，一条活在老新山，甚至新山以外的人记忆里的一条老街。
公公的老雜货店—”华晟”就座落在这条潮州街的路口。店面虽小，但五臓齐全。在姨姨们的拹力和公公的检樸经营下养活了我们这一代人。然而，城市的发展使罗米街当年的风光急速消减，它的景色已在城市走向国际大都会格局的步履下被掩埋了。然而，只要放缓脚步，细细观赏周围老店的面貌，沿路上，总会拾起许多老店的小故事。这些您不问，他不说的故事，会随着不断辗转而过的岁月年轮磨灭去。究竟，还有多少个曾在此处留下痕迹的人与故事，后人怎么会刻意去记住它呢！祝母亲节快乐。

Mom's Day 2010

A Lesson You Need To Learn

Have you ever notice that lessons tend to repeat themselves? You may continually attract the same lesson into your life. You may also draw to your teachers to teach you that lesson until you get it right. You may try to avoid the situation, but they will eventually catch up with you. The only way you can free yourself of difficult patterns and issues you tend to repeat is by shifting your perspective so that you can recognize the patterns and learn the lessons that they offer. To face these challenges means you need to accept the fact that something within you keeps drawing you to the same kind of person or issue, though that situation or relationship may be very painful.

The challenge, therefore, is to identify and release the patterns that you are repeating. This is no easy task, since it means you have to change, and change is not always easy. Staying just as you are may not help you advance spiritually, but it certainly is comfortable in its familiarity.

Rising to the challenge of identifying and releasing your patterns forces you to admit that the way you have been doing things isn't working. The good news is that by identifying and releasing the pattern, you actually learn how to change. In order to facilitate your process of change, you will need to learn the lessons of willingness and patience. Once you master these, you will most likely find the challenge of identifying and releasing your patterns far less intimidating.

The real secret to being able to change is the willingness to do so. If you are to make any progress in excavating yourself from the cycles that entrap you, you must first identify the patterns that keep you stuck. Then you can begin to release the old behaviors.

If you truly want to change, you will choose to do it, and make a commitment to the process of it. However, if you rely on the thought that you should change, you will make the decision to do so and then you will feel the pinch of sacrifice. Following the current trends, the advice of friends, or the wishes of family members result in decision; following you inner compass results in choice.

So when you are struggling to make a change in your life, ask yourself, "How willing am I, really, to make this change?" If you are not succeeding, there's a good chance that you may be relying on your belief that you should change, rather than on your intrinsic desire to do so,

Patience is the display of tolerance while awaiting an outcome. You are presented with the lesson of patience the moment you try to create a change within yourself. You expect immediate results and are often disappointed when your first few attempts to follow through fall short. When people who try to lose weight cheat on their diets, they get very frustrated with themselves for not being able to stay with their new eating regime and berate themselves for not changing their patterns.

As you already know, change is rarely easy, and you need to exercise gentleness and patience with yourself as you work your way through this process. Growth can be a slow, painstaking process and patience will provide you with the stamina you need to become the person you want to be.

If you absolutely hate getting stuck in traffic, chances are that you need a little work in the area of patience. And, chances are, you will probably get stuck in more traffic jams than someone who has no issue with patience--and not simply because the universe has a sense of humor. You sill just notice the traffic more than someone who has more patience.

Remember, a lesson will be repeated until learned. It just takes a little patience.

Accept The Challenges

Should we easily wail about the embarrassment and the unfairness of life? Or should we accept obstacles as challenges? With a choice of stance we can allow ourselves to be oppressed victims. When anything happens to us, we can take it as a sign that we should not expect anything good out of our lives. These are times when we need to determine whether it is wisdom or fear that motivates us in our choices.

If we view our lives as a juggling act or a sort of sporting contest, we learn to go along with the limitations and obstacles that are dealt us. We then find ways to make it through the event in good shape and with energy. Different talents and strengths will be called upon to get through the obstacles. Our faith, humor, and hope may be tested, but they are what keep us going as we try to overcome the various obstacles.

Discrimination and prejudice are challenges. We force ourselves to work twice as hard as others; however, the rewards from our work are ours to enjoy. The important thing is to be working at something we find meaningful and worthwhile.

To succeed, you must accept challenges. There will always be barriers, cultural differences, and lack of understanding around us, but it is beneficial for us to stay together, be sensitive to each other needs, and to help each other. Maintaining cultural diversity and integrity is possible as a healthy community builds on teamwork, praise, pride and enthusiasm. Once, we are dedicated to improve critical skills such as knowledge sharing, collaboration, flexibility and risk taking, we will improve our future.

Together, we can make our world a better place in which to live by changing the way we and the rest of the population view it--positively. Let s make this challenge a reality.

虚心求教

伊浚:

真正求学问的人，无须刻意咬文嚼字，要时时反观我们自己的内心有没有真正求学问的态度。真正有财富的人，不须故意穿金戴玉，过度打扮。愈是伟大的巨星，愈能够展现亲和力。真正有自信的人，隨时都乐意放下身段，和别人分享自己的所知所能，也愿意虚心求教，向教授，向师长，向同学学习自己所不擅长的事物。不要怕穷，要穷中立志，不要怕苦，要苦中进取 。在通往成功的过程中，有时是孤单，是穷苦，是寂凉，但也是充满希望，毫不抱怨，只有坚定信念，努力实践。辛苦过后，必有幸福来临啊！祝学以專长，备以后用。

How To Be A Leader

Dear Yi Jun,

Now’s a day youth seem content to take the easy route and enjoy the ride of life. When tough situations arise, they often pout and complain. How your teen years life will have a profound impact on your future life. You must learn to utilize your time wisely.

You may not see it now, but developing leadership characteristics at a young age is very important. As we get older, it becomes harder to overcome bad habits and replace them with good ones. Possessing leadership qualities is essential, both in this life and in the future world.

There are certain qualities that to become a leader: justice, judgment, dependability, initiative, decisiveness, tact, integrity, enthusiasm, poise, unselfishness, courage, knowledge and loyalty. You may recognize these as good qualities to have, but did not apply it in your life. The more that these qualities are part of your nature, the more productive and enjoyable your life will be. All of these are qualities that one must possess to one degree or another.

Contrary to popular opinion, leadership is something that is learned. No one is born a leader. We are all capable of exhibiting the leadership qualities mentioned above – some just not to choose. Of course, not everyone can be the “top dog”, let alone all the time. However, everyone does have the capacity to lead in some way – but action is required!

Understand that learning is a fact of life – learning to ride a bike, learning to swim, learning to drive, learning to type, learning mathematics, learning medicine, etc. All of these activities require action. While we are born with many different abilities, if we do not harness and develop them, those abilities will never come to fruition.

Youth is an excellent time to start developing leadership traits. Take the time to study each one in detail. Put them into practice as you interact with other people. Determine which areas you are weak in, striving to always improve. Observe the leaders, and how they handle situations and carry themselves. Also, study the lives of great leaders. The results will serve you in this life and beyond!

诚恳的学习态度

伊浚:

想要赢得别人的尊重与信任，并不是需要很強的能力，而是很诚恳的态度。即使你经验不足，甚至能力不够，只要诚实以告，并表现积极的企图，认真的学习，还是可以争取到属于自己的机会。人生是漫长的，赢在起跑点，并不代表你会达到最后的胜利。反之，就算在起跑点的奔跑步伐緩慢，只要秉持信念，加上后天的努力，想必成功是指日可待的。祝事想心成。

The Story for You

The pencil maker took the pencil aside, just before putting him into the box.

“There are five things you need to know,” he told the pencil, “Before I send you out into the world. Always remember them and never forget and you will become the best pencil you can be.”

“One: You will be able to do many great things, but only if you allow yourself to be held in someone’s hand.”

“Two: You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, but you’ll need it to become a better pencil.”

“Three: You will be able to correct any mistakes you might make.”

“Four: The most important part of you will always be what’s inside.”

“And Five: On every surface you are used on, you must leave your mark. No matter what the condition, you must continue to write.”

The pencil understood and promised to remember and went into the box with purpose in its heart.

Now replacing the place of the pencil with you, ChrisLee. Always remember them and never forget and you will become the best person you can be.

One: You will be able to do many great things, but only if you allow yourself to be held by good professor.

Two: You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, by going through various problems in life, but you’ll need it to become a stronger person.

Three: You will be able to correct any mistakes you might make.

Four: The most important part of you will always be what’s on the inside.

And Five: On every surface you walk through, you must leave your mark. No matter what the situation, you must continue to do your duties.

Allow this story to encourage you to know that you are a special person and only you can fulfill the purpose to which you were born to accomplish.

Never allow yourself to get discouraged and think that your life is insignificant and can’t make a change.

Forgive for Good

To forgive may be divine, but no one ever said it was easy. When someone has deeply hurt you, such as your roommate at hostel or your classmate at RSMU, I believe it can be extremely difficult to let go of your grudge. But forgiveness is possible – and it can be surprisingly beneficial to your physical and mental health.

“People who forgive show less depression, anger and stress and more hopefulness”, says Frederic, Ph.D., author of Forgive for Good. “So it can help save on the wear and tear on our organs, reduce the wearing out of the immune system and allow people to peel more vital”.

So how do you start the healing? Try following these steps:

Clam Yourself

To defuse your anger, try a simple stress-management technique. “Take a couple of breaths and think of something that gives you pleasure: a beautiful scene in nature, someone you love”, Frederic says.

Don’t Wait For an Apology

“Many times the person who hurt you has no intention of apologizing”, Frederic says, “They may have wanted to hurt you or they just have different thinking way. So if you wait for people to apologize, you could be waiting an awfully long time”. Keep in mind that forgiveness does not necessarily mean reconciliation with the person who upset you or condoning of his or her action.

Take the Control Away From Your Offender

Mentally replaying your hurt gives power to the person who caused you pain. “Instead of focusing on your wounded feelings, learn to look for the love, beauty and kindness around you”, Frederic says.

Try To See Things from the Other Person’s Perspective

If you empathize with that person, you may realize that he or she was acting out of ignorance, fear – even love. To gain perspective, you may write a blog to yourself from your offender’s point of view.

Recognize the Benefits of Forgiveness

Research has shown that people who forgive report more energy, better appetite and better sleep patterns.

Don’t Forget to Forgive Yourself

“For some people, forgiving themselves is the biggest challenge”, Frederic says. “But it call rob you of your sell-confidence if you don’t do it”.

You Can Helps Yourself

“Heaven helps those who help themselves” is the results of vast human experience. The spirit of self-help is the root of all genuine growth in the individual.

Even the best institutions can’t give a man active help. Perhaps the most they can do is, leave to develop himself and improve his individual condition. But in all times men have been prone to believe that their happiness and well-being were to be secured by institutions rather than by their own conduct.

Daily experience shows that it is energetic individualism which produces the most powerful effects upon the life and action is constitute the best practical education. Schools, colleges and university, give the merest beginnings of knowledge. Far more influential is the life-education daily given in our homes, in the streets, behind counters, in laboratory, at the hostel and the market, in hospital and in the busy crowd.

This is that finishing instruction as members of society, “the education of the human race”, consisting in action, conduct, self-culture, self-control, -- all that tends to discipline a man truly and fit him for the proper performance of the duties and future life.

In fine, human character is molded by a thousand subtle influences; by example and precept; by life and literature; by friends and neighbors; by the world we live in as well as by the spirits of our forefathers, whose legacy of good words and deeds we inherit. But though these influences, men must necessarily be the active agents of their own well-being and well-doing; however they themselves must be their own best helpers.

谦逊的心情,努力学习

伊俊:

在你宿舍対面的大湖中的小魚，可能是小池中的大鱼。大鱼，小魚，大湖，小池，其实都是比较出来的。站在学习的观奌，我们宁愿自己永远是大湖中的小魚，怀着谦逊的心情努力学习，站在志气的观奌，我们不妨做小池中的大鱼，抱着宏远的志向积极表现自己。这么一来，不论在大湖或小池中，都可以快活地优游自在了。祝学业进步

The Success Personality

Is there a “success personality” – some winning combination of qualities that leads almost inevitably to achievement? If so, exactly what is that secret success formula and can anyone develop it?

At the Gallop Organization we recently focused in depth on success, probing the attitudes of 1500 prominent people selected at random from Who’s Who in America. Our research finds out a number of qualities that occur regularly among top achievers. Here is one of the most important, that is common sense.

Common sense is the most prevailing quality possessed by our respondents. Seventy-nine percent award themselves a top score in this quality. And 61 percent say that common sense was very important in contributing to their success.

To most, common sense means the ability to present sound, practical judgments on everyday affairs. To do this, one has to sweep aside extra ideas and get right to the core of what matters. A Texas oil and gas businessman puts it this way: “The key ability for success is simplifying. In conducting of meeting and dealing with industry, reducing a complex problem to the simplest term is highly important”.

Is common sense a quality a person is born with or can you do something to increase it? The oil man’s answer is that common sense can definitely be developed. He attributes his to learning how to debate in school. Another way to increase your store of common sense is to observe it in others, learning from their – and your own – mistakes.

Besides common sense, there are many other factors that influence success: knowing your field, self-reliance, intelligence, the ability to get things done, leadership, creativity, relationships with others and of course, luck. But common sense stands out. If you develop these qualities, you’ll succeed. And you might even find yourself listen in Who’s Who someday.

Communicating A Sense Of Personal Power

Communicating a sense of personal power comes from a belief that you can reach your goals in your own way. Powerful people empower others and encourage others to express themselves openly. You communicate a sense of personal power by developing these traits:

Authority

Authority is inner confidence – a trust in your skills and abilities. It comes from the inside, from an attitude of “I can do that.” “I deserve success”. This attitude radiates outward as you assert your rights, honestly ask for what you want and need, and develop a willingness to give to others and yourself.

Assertiveness

Assertive behavior is active, direct and honest. It communicates an impression of self-respect and respect for others. By being assertive, we view our wants, needs and rights as equal with those of others. An assertive person wins by influencing, listening and negotiating so that other people choose to cooperate willingly.

Accessibility
The powerful person is a master net worker. Good network increases your visibility and gives you a valuable circle of people from whom you can give and receive support and information. Imagine yourself as the hub of a wheel surrounded by spokes of contacts.

Image
You communicate power through your image. Do you project an image consistent with strong leadership? Stand tall and walk proudly, remembering that you have value as a person. When you meet others, make direct contact and keep your handshake firm and friendly. Clearly state who you are and what you do.

Communication Habits
Take a deep breath to project a firm voice. Avoid slang, and jargon, and vocal hesitations that can hinder effective communication. Use only the body movements and gestures necessary to make your point, no more. Learn how to write clearly and succinctly.

严于律己，宽以待人

伊浚:

我们往往很容易原谅自己。比如说，你自己常在冬天的早上起不了床，睡懒觉。每一次鬧鈡一响，就很痛苦，就起不来。你如果今天很晚睡，或者是錯过了规定的时间起床，你马上就原谅自己，你想明天继续努力，就没事了。但是对别人卻很难生起这样的心，这个剛好也是和我们傳统文化相反，老祖宗告诉我们要”严于律己，宽以待人”。”以恕己之心恕人，以律人之心律己”。以饶恕，宽恕自己的心去宽恕别人，以要求别人的那种心来求自己，我们就不会苦了。以简单的道理与人相处，日子就会很好过。若太复杂，就会惹来满心烦恼。祝万事如意。

Life will be good, if we can keep a simple mind in the dealing with people; otherwise, we will be inflicted by an abundance of afflictions.

Built Your Self-confidence

Confidence is a feeling – an inner fire and an outer radiance, a basic satisfaction with what one is plus a reaching out to become more. Confidence is not something a few people are born with and others are not, for it is an acquired characteristic.

Confidence is the personal possession of no one; the person who has it learns it – and goes on learning. The most gifted individual on earth has to construct confidence in his gifts from the basis of faith and experience, like anybody else. The tools will differ from one person to the next, but the essential task is the same. Confidence and pose are available to us all according to our abilities and needs – not somebody else’s – provided we utilize our gifts and expand them.

One of the most rewarding aspects of confidence is that it sits gracefully on every age and level of life – on children, men, women, and the famous, the obscure, rich, poor, artist, executive, teenager, the very old. And you can take it with you into old age. There is nothing more inspiring than an old person who maintains his good will, humor and faith in himself, in others, in the future. Conversely, the root cause of old people’s despair is a feeling of not being wanted, of nothing to contribute, no more to conquer and become.

Most people have more to work with than they realize. One noted physicist calls this unused excellencies and finding and releasing this potential in ourselves is one of the major challenges of modern life. The great danger is not that we shall overreach our capacities but that we shall undervalue and under-employ them, thus blighting our great possibilities.

The goal of life is not a problem less existence, which would be unbearably dull, but a way to handle problems, creatively. That word “problem” may sound a little prickly, but it only means a question put forth for solution and actually life consists of a series of problem – and – solutions, each different from the last.

Confidence is delight – delight in living, in being who you are, in what you do, in growing, in the endless and sometimes exasperating adventure of what it means to be human. The teacher who delights in teaching has no time for bogging down in a swamp of doubt that he or she is doing it “right”, and they are well aware that they can become a better teacher tomorrow, but only by doing their best today and enjoying today. So, too, the mother who delights in being a mother does not worry overmuch about whether she fits the rules. She is not the mother, after all, of something material but of a living child.

Rules can often be a guide to successful living, but they are not a substitute for living. Rules never quite keep up with reality, because rules come from experience, not the other way around. Life happens and it is infinitely inventive. It will always outrun and outmaneuver any attempt to bottle it up in a cut – and – dried system, for life is perpetual becoming. When life turns your wisest plans or best rules upside down, throw out the plans and bend with the circumstance. You will find powers you did not suspect and possibilities undreamed of.

Confidence is not always winning, not always victory. Indeed, it is that very quality in humanity which refuses to stay defeated. A kind of stubborn cheerfulness. Remember there are two things you can do with mistakes, you can run away and you can grow.

有所觉, 有所为

亲爱的姨姨：

公公是个性内向，平时沉默寡，不多说话的人，好像都少与人打招呼。在家里说话的永远都是婆婆，公公始终都是倾听者：左邻右舍每家都和婆婆很熟，但姨姨们都遗传了婆婆那健谈的性格，当姐妹们相聚在一起有诉不尽的情谊。

然而；常在锦福主动逗公公他老人家时,看见公公开心，放声地大笑。原来，他是个不快乐的父亲，却是个快乐的公公。

真的，老人家如婆婆若不快乐，做子女是不能“一无所觉”、“一无所为”的。老人家沉默、孤僻、不快乐，并不是他们的天生个性，而是子女与晚辈们，没有让她感到快乐啊!

赶快“有所觉’有所为” 。趁婆婆还健在的时候我们都要多主动地制造一些让她老人家快乐的事。祝福大家身体健康。

You Will Be Master Of Your Emotions

The tides advance; the tides recede. Winter goes and summer comes. Summer wanes and the cold increases. The sun rises; the sun sets. The moon is full; the moon is black. The birds arrive; the birds depart. Flowers bloom; flowers fade. Seeds are sown; harvests are reaped. All nature is a circle of moods and you are a part of nature and so, like the tides, your moods will rise; your moods will fall.

It is one of nature’s tricks, little understood, that each day you awaken with moods that have changed from yesterday. Yesterday’s joy will become today’s sadness; yet today’s sadness will grow into tomorrow’s joy. Inside your heart is a wheel, constantly turning from sadness to joy, from exultation to depression, from happiness to melancholy, yet you will remember that as today’s dead flower carries the seed of tomorrow’s bloom, so does today’s sadness carry the seed of tomorrow’s joy.

And how will you master these emotions so that each day will be productive? If your mood is right, the day will be a failure. Trees and plants depend on the weather to flourish but you make your own weather, yea you transport it with you.

And how will you master your emotions so that every day is a happy day and a productive one? You will learn this secret of the ages: “Weak are he who permits his thoughts to control his action; strong is he who forces his actions to control his thoughts.” Each day, when you awaken, you will follow this plan of battle before you are captured by the forces of sadness, self-pity and failure –

If you fell depressed you can sing.
If you feel sad you can laugh.
If you feel ill you can double your exercise.
If you feel fear you can plunge ahead.
If you feel inferior you can wear new garments.
If you feel uncertain you can raise your voice.
If you feel poverty you can think of wealth to come.
If you feel incompetent you can remember past success.
If you feel insignificant you can remember your goals.

Henceforth, you will know that only those with inferior ability can always be at their best and you are not inferior. There will be days when you must constantly struggle against forces which would tear you down. Those such as despair and sadness are simple to recognize but there are others which approach with a smile and the hand of friendship and they can also destroy you. Against them, you must never relinquish control –

If you become overconfident you can recall your failures.
If you overindulge you can think of past hungers.
If you feel complacency you can remember your competition.
If you enjoy moments of greatness you can remember moments of shame.
If you feel all-powerful you can try to top the wind.
If you attain great wealth you can remember one unfed mouth.
If you become overly proud you can remember a moment of weakness.
If you feel your skill is unmatched you can look at the stars.

Henceforth you can recognize and identify the mystery of moods in all mankind and in yourself. From this moment you prepared to control whatever personality awakes in yourself each day. You will master you moods through positive action and when you master your moods you will control your destiny. You will become master of yourself. You will become a great man.

如何能幫到你？

伊浚:

我们常思考如何能真正幫到远在俄罗斯的你？想要真正幫到你，我们就要体会什么是真正的爱。爱是用心去感受，绝对不是控制和佔有，爱是站在对方的角度去思考。爱是无私无我的为对方付出，甚至无求的付出，那才是真爱。如果我们现在对你的目的是要你考一个好成绩给我们，那是交换，那是逼你走一條路，那不是真爱。我们感受到，一切都得回到原点，从头学起什么是爱，才能真正幫到你。同时你自已也须学习如何幫你自已。幫你自已就要懂得爱自己也懂得爱她人。祝心中有爱才会人见人爱。

Passivity

Just passively letting your life happen may make it more difficult to accept yourself. Part of accepting yourself is engaging in activities that help you like yourself. Think back to those times when you weren’t concerned about your acceptability. What kinds of things were you doing? How were you spending your time? To accept and like yourself means that you approve of how you are living your life. If you aren’t accepting yourself, you probably don’t like the activities you’re engaged in. You are feeling dissatisfied. A way to increase your self-acceptance is to become more actively engaged in your life. Look for those activities and relationships that give you the most enjoyment – not necessarily the most enjoyment you could possibly have, but the most you can get from your choices at the moment. Try new things, perhaps things you have always wanted to try but didn’t because you felt you couldn’t do them. Try them with the attitude that you want to know what it would actually be like to do them. You may find that they are enjoyable and that you want to continue them. You may find that they are okay, but not worth continuing. You may find that you don’t like them at all and feel fine about crossing them off your list of things to do. Trying and getting real experience is a way of feeling better about yourself and gaining more confidence in your abilities.

The Comparison Trap

Judging yourself by what others have accomplished is a sure way to lower your self-acceptance. Have you noticed that you never compare yourself to people who seem to aspire to less than you do and that you always chose those people who are the top performers or the most popular as your yardstick for success? Are you as good as your friends, your roommate, your brother or sister, your parents or Joe Blow? And how about trying to be like “normal” people are? (And who or what determines what is “normal”?) Can you only be good if you’re better than someone else? When we use other people as our yardstick, we aren’t taking into consideration our own personal limitations or talents. For example, if someone seems to be more articulate than you, you can respond in one of two ways: You can become upset and depressed by telling yourself that you should be as articulate as that person or you can recognize and accept the fact that there are probably a lot of people out there who are more articulate than you at certain times and under certain circumstances and that is okay. It doesn’t mean a thing about you. Playing the comparison game is a dead end street. By doing that you are probably missing some other qualities by which you can judge your own worth, like your honesty, friendliness, caring nature, dedication and so forth. And really, people don’t value you for how much you are like someone else. They do value you for the ways you are being you.

Not Accepting That There Are Real Limits To Your Abilities

The idea that you should always be able to attain your goals as long as you work hard enough is another factor interfering with self-acceptance. You will reach many of your goals and should give yourself credit for having done so. Some of us have trouble seeing our successes because we focus so much on our failures and many times the failures come after a lot of hard work and personal suffering. It seems that all that hard work should pay off in our having reaching the goal we set out to achieve. It is hard to accept that a given goal may be out of our reach and that may be because of many factors, including the fact that we may not have the talent or skill needed to reach the goal. Of course there may be other factors in operation that make the achieving of that goal at that time impossible such as living environment concerns, Russian language problems, far away from family, extraneous stressors or any number of other factors acting alone or together. The real trick to self-acceptance is to see that the goal is unattainable, at least for now and shifting your focus to accomplishing what you can accomplish under the circumstances. That could include evaluating your original goal and deciding whether or not to continue with it. It also means giving yourself credit for what you have accomplished and what you have learned from your experiences.

Impossibly High Standards

Having standards that are impossibly high is a third way you can not accept yourself. It may not come as a surprise to you that most of us are more demanding of ourselves than we are of others. Somehow we can tolerate the fact that other people fail, that they aren’t always kind, that they’ve done things they aren’t proud of, but we have difficulty accepting those very human aspects of ourselves. The need to be perfect is another way to set yourself up for failure and enhance the feeling that you are not acceptable. We all make mistakes. Accepting less than perfection simply means recognizing the limitations inherent in being born a human being. Learn to value who you are rather than who you could become. To quote Linus, a sober and often worried character from a popular comic strip, “The world’s heaviest burden is a great potential”. Wouldn’t it be overwhelming if we always had to do what we imagine we could do? Nobody has the time and energy to do all of that. We must make choices about what we will pursue and do them the best we can under the circumstance (which aren’t always ideal, by the way).

Over-generalizing

Another thing that might cause you not to accept yourself is over-generalizing about something you’ve done that you don’t like. So, for example, if you fail a colloquium you might generalize and say, “I’m really a stupid person.” When you do this you are making a statement about all of you all of the time and not just about this one situation at this time was indeed poor and then go on to decide what you want to do about your poor grade, if anything. Getting stuck in over-generalizing discourages you from taking steps that might allow you to do better on the next exam and builds an expectation of future failure.

Moralistic Self-judgment

One way to really dislike yourself is to always judge yourself in a very moralistic way. People often spend a lot of time and energy labeling their behavior with moral adjectives such as “bad”, “hateful” and “mean”. When you apply these kinds of words to yourself you make liking yourself much more difficult. There is a more productive way of looking at yourself that will allow you to begin to like yourself more. Instead of evaluating yourself in this moralistic way, begin to ask questions like: “Did I do what I really wanted to do in this situation?” “How can I correct the misunderstanding that occurred?” In other words, you can start to view what you’ve done as productive or non-productive rather than as good or bad. If something is non-productive, you can focus on what you have learned form it and try another approach that might be more productive.

Learn To Accept Yourself

We are not born doubting ourselves. We learn to do it. In fact, we are usually taught to doubt ourselves. Often we are taught to do so by otherwise well-meaning people who are passing along their own doubts and uncertainties and who believe they are being protective and caring. What these people (usually parents and other significant adults) want are strong, capable and self-confident people, but they often inadvertently teach us thought processes that lead to something else. That’s the bad news. The good news is that we can understand some of these processes and learn new ways of coping that allow us to become more accepting of ourselves. Following are six behaviors you may have learned that can be unlearned and allow you to move toward greater self-acceptance. (will be continue)

考试顺利

伊浚:

每当你考试顺利的同时，我们在千里之外也感受到你的兴奋心情，分享你的喜悦。但是同様的，如果考试不及格，我们也会替你憂心。成功和失败並不代表好事和坏事，真正的好坏，在于我们如何去面対每次的成功，以及每次的失败。如果某项考试及格了，你当下傲慢，得意洋洋，得罪他人，这件成功的事情，己经是下一次失败的预兆，但是如果这次考试失败了，你也无须自責或归罪于人，而是因此奮发向上，总结经验，那在这次考试失败过程当中，已经在奠定下一次成功的基础了。祝考试顺利。