Learning To Accept Yourself

Dear Yi Jun,

We are not born doubting ourselves. We learn to do it. In fact, we are usually taught to doubt ourselves. Often we are taught to do so by otherwise well-meaning people who are passing along their own doubts and uncertainties and who believe they are being protective and caring. What these people (usually parents and other significant adults) want are strong, capable and self-confident people, but they often inadvertently teach us thought processes that lead to something else. That’s the bad news. The good news is that we can understand some of these processes and learn new ways of coping that allow us to become more accepting of ourselves. Following are six behaviors you may have learned that can be unlearned and allow you to move toward greater self-acceptance. (will be continue tomorrow)

Being Grateful Before Missing

All of us have read thrilling stories in which the hero had only a limited and specified time to live. Sometimes it was as long as a year, sometimes as short as twenty-four hours, but always we were interested in discovering just how the doomed man chose to spend his last days or his last hours. I speak, of course, of free men who have a choice, not condemned criminals whose sphere of activities is strictly delimited.

Such stories set up thinking, wondering what we should do under similar circumstances. What associations should we crowd into those last hours as mortal beings? What happiness should we find in reviewing the past, what regrets?

Sometimes I have thought it would be an excellent rule to live each day as if we should die tomorrow. Such an attitude would emphasize sharply the values of life. We should live each day with gentleness, vigor and keenness of appreciation which is often lost when time stretches before us in the constant panorama of more days and months and years to come. There are those, of course, who would adopt the epicurean motto of “Eat, drink and be merry”, most people would be chastened by the certainty of impending death.

Most of us take life for granted. We know that one day we must die, but usually we picture that day as far in the future, when we are in buoyant health, death is all but unimaginable. We seldom think of it. The days stretch out in an endless vista. So we go about our petty task, hardly aware of our listless attitude towards life.

The same lethargy, I am afraid, characterizes the use of our faculties and senses. Only the deaf appreciate hearing, only the blind realize the manifold blessings that lie in sight. Particularly does this observation apply to those who have lost sight and hearing in adult life. But those who have never suffered impairment of sight or hearing seldom make the fullest use of these blessed faculties. Their eyes and ears take in all sights and sound hazily, without concentration and with little appreciation. It is the same old story of not being grateful without missing.

April Showers Bring May Flowers

From the golden – tipped fields of mid-west America to the ancient kingdoms of verdant Palestine, there is a happy truth to be shared with all who would take heed. In more recent times, this truth has been expressed as: April showers bring May flowers. This is a truth that promises light bursting from darkness, strength born from weakness and if one dares to believe, life emerging from death.

Farmers all over the world know the importance and immutability of the seasons. They know that there is a season to plant and a season to harvest; everything must be done in its own time. Although the rain pours down with the utmost relentlessness, ceasing all outdoor activities, the man of the field lifts his face to the heavens and smiles. Despite the inconvenience, he knows that the rain provides the nourishment his crops need to grow and flourish. The torrential rains in the month of April, give rise to the glorious flowers in the month of May.

But this ancient truth applies to more than the crops of the fields; it is an invaluable message of hope to all who experience tragedy in life. A dashed relationship with one can open up the door to a brand new friendship with another. A lost job here can provide the opportunity for a better job there. A broken dream can become the foundation of a wonderful future.

Remember this: overwhelming darkness may endure for a night, but it will never overcome the radiant light of the morning. When you are in a season of sorrow, hang in there, because a season of joy may be just around the corner…

Put The Glass Down

Dear Yi Jun,

A lecturer was giving a lecture to his students on stress management.

He raised a glass of water and asked the audience: “How heavy do you think this glass of water is?”

The students’ answers ranged from 20g to 500g.

“It does not matter on the absolute weight. It depends on how long you hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it is okay. If I hold it of an hour, I will have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you will have to call an ambulance. It is the exact same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.”

“If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, we will not be able to carry on, the burden becoming increasingly heavier.”

“What you have to do is to put the glass down, rest for a while before holding it up again.”

We have to put down the burden periodically, so that we can be refreshed and are able to carry on.

Whatever burdens you are having now on your shoulders, let it down for a moment if you can and play badminton with your senior.

Life is short, enjoy it when tire, relax when stress!

When You Are In Moscow

Dear Yi Jun,

Maybe god wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.

When the door of happiness closes, another opens, but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don’t see the one which has been opened for us.

The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word and then walk away felling like it was the best conversation you’ve every had.

It’s true that we don’t know what we’ve got until we lose it, but it’s also true that we don’t know what we’ve been missing until it arrives.

Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they’ll love you back! Don’t expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart but if it doesn’t, be content it grew in your. It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

Don’t go for looks; they can deceive. Don’t go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile.

There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real!

Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you wants to do.

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy.

Always put yourself in others’ shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the other person, too.

The happiest people don’t necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched and those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives.

Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear.

The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can’t go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

Please send this message to those people who mean something to you, to those who have touched your life in one way or another, to those who make you smile when you really need it, to those that make you see the brighter side of things when you are really down, to those who you want to let them know that you appreciate their friendship. And if you don’t, don’t worry, nothing bad will happen to you, you will just miss out on the opportunity to brighten someone’s day with this message.

Catch The Star Lead You To Your Dreams

Dear Yi Jun,

Catch the star that holds your destiny, the one that forever twinkles within your heart. Take advantage of precious opportunities while they still sparkle before you. Always believe that your ultimate goal is attainable as long as you commit yourself to it.

Though barriers may sometimes stand in the way of your dreams, remember that your destiny is hiding behind them. Accept the fact that not everyone is going to approve of the choices you’ve made. Have faith in your judgment. Catch the star that twinkles in your heart and it will lead you to your destiny’s path. Follow that pathway and uncover the sweet sunrises that await you.

Take pride in your accomplishments, as they are stepping stones to your dreams. Understand that you may make mistakes, but don’t let them discourage you. Value your capabilities and talents for they are what make you truly unique. The greatest gifts in life are not purchased, but acquired through hard work and determination. Find the star that twinkles in your heart – for you alone are capable of making your brightest dreams come true. Give your hopes everything you’ve got and you will catch the star that holds your destiny.

Understanding Of Oneself

Dear Yi Jun,

In all one’s lifetime it is oneself that one spends the most time being with or dealing with. But it is precisely oneself that one has the least understanding of.

When you are going upwards in life you tend to overestimate yourself. It seems that everything you seek for is within your reach; luck and opportunities will come your way and you are overjoyed that they constitute part of your worth. When you are going downhill you tend to under-estimate yourself, mistaking difficulties and adversities for your own incompetence. It’s likely that you think it wises for yourself to know your place and stay aloof from worldly success. In doing so you are actually wearing a mask of cowardice, behind which the flow of sap in your life will be retarded.

To get a thorough understanding of oneself is to gain a correct view of oneself and be a sober realist-aware of both one’s strength and shortage. You may look forward hopefully to the future but be sure not to expect too much, for ideals can never be fully realized. You may be courageous to meet challenges but it should be clear to you where to direct your efforts. That’s to say so long as you have a perfect knowledge of yourself there won’t be difficulties you can’t overcome, nor obstacles you can’t surmount.

To get a thorough understanding of oneself needs self-appreciation. Whether you liken yourself to a towering tree or a blade of grass, whether you think you are a high mountain or a small stone, you represent a state of nature that has its own raison dears. If you earnestly admire yourself you’ll have a real sense of self-appreciation, which will give you confide cell. As soon as you gain full confidence in yourself you’ll be enabled to fight and overcome any adversity.

To get a thorough understanding of oneself also requires doing oneself a favor when it’s needed. In time of anger, do yourself a favor by giving vent to it in a quiet place so that you won’t be hurt by its flames; in time of sadness, do yourself a favor by sharing it with Vivien so as to change a gloomy mood into a cheerful one; in time of tiredness, do yourself a favor by getting a good sleep; in time of boring, do yourself a favor by playing badminton with your senior. Show yourself loving concern about your health and daily life. As you are aware, what a person physically has is but a human body that’s vulnerable when exposed to the elements. So if you fall ill, it’s up to you to take a good care of yourself. Unless you know perfectly well when and how to do yourself a favor, you won’t be confident and ready enough to resist the attack of illness.

To get a thorough understanding of oneself is to get a full control of one’s life. Then one will find one’s life full of color and flavor.

ATOZ for You

Avoid negative people, places, things and habits.

Believe in yourself.

Consider things from every angle.

Don’t give up and don’t give in.

Enrich your life today. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is mystery.

Family and friends are hidden treasures. Seek them and enjoy their riches.

Give more than you planned to.

Hang on to your dreams.

Ignore those who try to discourage you.

Just do it.

Keep trying no matter how hard it seems. It will get easier.

Live well, love lots and laugh often.

Make it happen.

Never lie, cheat or steal. Always strike a fair deal.

Open your eyes and see things as they really are.

Practice makes perfect.

Quitters never win and winners never quit.

Read, study and learn about everything important in your life.

Stop procrastinating.

Take control of your own destiny.

Understand yourself in order to better understand others.

Visualize it.

Want it more than anything.

Xcellerate (accelerate) your efforts.

You are unique. Nothing can replace YOU.

Zero in your target, and go for it!

ATOZ for You -- A

Avoid negative people, places, things and habits.

ATOZ for You -- B

Believe in yourself.

ATOZ for You -- C

Consider things from every angle.

ATOZ for You -- D

Don’t give up and don’t give in.

ATOZ for You -- E

Enrich your life today. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is mystery.

ATOZ for You -- F

Family and friends are hidden treasures. Seek them and enjoy their riches.

ATOZ for You -- G

Give more than you planned to.

ATOZ for You -- H

Hang on to your dreams.

ATOZ for You -- I

Ignore those who try to discourage you.

ATOZ for You -- J

Just do it.

ATOZ for You -- K

Keep trying no matter how hard it seems. It will get easier.

ATOZ for You -- L

Live well, love lots and laugh often.

ATOZ for You -- M

Make it happen.

ATOZ for You -- N

Never lie, cheat or steal. Always strike a fair deal.

ATOZ for You -- O

Open your eyes and see things as they really are.

ATOZ for You -- P

Practice makes perfect.

ATOZ for You -- Q

Quitters never win and winners never quit.

Auchan Hypermarket Locker Thief -- Moscow

Dear Yi Jun,

We lost contact with you for a few week after your hostel internet line was suspend by RSMU administrator, so we try to make a call to you to know your recently news but you always give us a great surprise, the news your tell even more exciting that TV8 or MTV7 I watch everyday. You tell us that your lover Sony camera, winter coat, spectacle, lab coat, university report card, student card, library card and bus monthly card was missing when you keep in the Auchan Hypermarket’s locker at Moscow. Mom was so surprise and lost control with her emotion quotient to know that. I try to cool down her and make sure you can solve your problem by report to police for easy to apply all the important document with RSMU. I hope you can settle everything by yourself. Do you remember the story I was tell you before.

Once President Roosevelt’s house was broken into and lots of things were stolen. Hearing this, one of Roosevelt’s friends wrote to him and advised him not to take it to his heart so much. President Roosevelt wrote back immediately, saying, “Dear friend, thank you for your letter to comfort me. I’m all right now. I think I should thank God. This is because of the following three reasons: firstly, the thief only stole things from me but did not hurt me at all; secondly, the thief has stolen some of my things instead of all my things; thirdly, most luckily for me, it was the man rather than me who became a thief ...”

It was quite unlucky for anyone to be stolen from. However, President Roosevelt had such three reasons to be so grateful. This story tells us how we can learn to be grateful in our life.

Being grateful is an important philosophy of life and a great wisdom. It is impossible for anyone to be lucky and successful all the time so long as he lives in the world. We should learn how to face failure or misfortune bravely and generously and to try to deal with it. If so, should we complain about our life and become frustrated and disappointed ever since then or should we be grateful for our life, raise again ourselves after a fall? William Thackeray, a famous British writer, said, “Life is a mirror. When you smile in front of it, it will also smile and so will it when you cry to it.” If you are grateful to life, it will bring you shining sunlight. If you always complain about everything, you may own nothing in the end. When we are successful, we can surely have many reasons for being grateful, but we have only one excuse to show ungratefulness if we fail.

I think we should even be grateful to life whenever we are unsuccessful or unlucky. Only by doing this can we find our weakness and shortcomings when we fail. We can also get relief and warmth when we are unlucky. This can help us find our courage to overcome the difficulties we may face, and receive great impetus to move on. We should treat our frustration and misfortune in our life in the other way just as President Roosevelt did. We should be grateful all the time and keep having a healthy attitude to our life forever keep having perfect characters and enterprising spirit. Being grateful is not only a kind of comfort, not an escape from life and nor thinking of winning in spirit like Ah Q. Being grateful is a way to sing for our life which comes just from our love and hope.

When we put a small piece of alum into muddy water, we can see the alum can soon make the water clear. If each of us has an attitude of being grateful, we’ll be able to get rid of impulse, upset, dissatisfaction and misfortune. Being grateful can bring us a better and more beautiful life.

ATOZ for You -- R

Read, study and learn about everything important in your life.

ATOZ For You -- S

Stop procrastinating.

ATOZ for You -- T

Take control of your own destiny.

ATOZ for You -- U

Understand yourself in order to better understand others.

ATOZ for You -- V

Visualize it.

W for You -- W

Want it more than anything.

X for You -- X

Xcellerate (accelerate) your efforts.
(Be prepare before you attend your examination. Study not gambling, no gain without pain.)

Y for You -- Y

You are unique. Nothing can replace YOU.
(In all time before now and in all time to come, there has never been and will never be anyone just like you. You are unique in the entire history and future of the universe. Wow! Stop and think about that. You’re better than one in a million, or a billion or a gazillion …)

ATOZ for You -- Z

Zero in your target, and go for it!

Are You Selfish?

Dear Yi Jun,

Hurt feelings between people can be very upsetting. How should you respond when you are being “put down” or insulted by someone else?

Suppose somebody say, “ChrisLee, you have golden hair.” Would that make you feel bad?

You’ll probably reply, “No.”

“Why not?”

“Because I know I don’t have golden hair.”

So what they say to you needn’t affect how you feel. What you believe about yourself is more important.

Add, what if they say, “ChrisLee, you are selfish?” That statement can only hurt you if you have doubts about whether you really are selfish. If you are clear that you are a warm, generous person, then you won’t be hurt because you know what they said isn’t true.

Anytime you feel upset about what someone says about you, or something you do, it’s because at some level you doubt yourself in that area.

If someone says, in effect, “You have golden hair” and you know you don’t, there’s no problem.”

If there’s some truth in what the person says, view it as feedback or information you can use for self-improvement.

What I've Learned

I have learned that the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.

I have learned that being kind is more important than being right.

I have learned that no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.

I have learned that that money doesn’t buy class. (Wear smart to build up our image)

I have learned that it’s those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

I have learned that under everyone’s hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

I have learned that sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.

I have learned that the Lord didn’t do it all in one day. What makes me think I can?

I have learned that when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you. (Kind to everyone)

I have learned that the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.

I have learned that life is tough, but I’m tougher. (The way to grow as a man)

I have learned that love, not time, heals all wounds.

I have learned that everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.

I have learned that I can always pray for someone when I don’t have the strength to help him in some other way.

I have learned that no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.

I have learned that opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.

I have learned that when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere. (Don’t worry, always be happy)

I have learned that one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.

I have learned that a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks. (To make us look smarter)

I have learned that I can’t choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do about it.

I have learned that everyone wants to stand on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing it.

I have learned that it is best to give advice in only two circumstances: when it is requested and when it is a life – threatening situation.

I have learned that the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done. (Don’t delay our work, study or examintion)

You're Unique In Your Life

Dear Yi Jun,

Consider … YOU. In all time before now and in all time to come, there has never been and will never be anyone just like you. You are unique in the entire history and future of the universe. Wow! Stop and think about that. You’re better than one in a million, or a billion or a gazillion …

You are the only one like you in a sea of infinity!

You‘re amazing! You’re awesome! And by the way, TAG, you’re it. As amazing and awesome as you already are, you can be even more so. Beautiful young people are the whimsy of nature, but beautiful old people are true works of art. But you don’t become “beautiful” just by virtue of the aging process.

Real beauty comes from learning, growing and loving in the ways of life. That is the art of life. You can learn slowly and sometimes painfully, by just waiting for life to happen to you. Or you can choose to accelerate your growth and intentionally devour life and all it offers. You are the artist that paints your future with the brush of today.

Paint a masterpiece.

God gives every bird its food, but he doesn’t throw it into its nest. Wherever you want to go, whatever you want to do, it’s truly up to you. However, what your decision, I will give my fully support. Take care yourself.

Let Your Heart To Guide You

Dear Yi Jun,

There comes a time when you must stand alone at Mosscow. You must feel confident enough within yourself to follow your own dreams. You must be willing to make sacrifices.

You must be capable of changing and rearranging your priorities, so that your final goal can be achieved.

Sometimes, familiarity and comfort need to be challenged. There are times when you must take a few extra chances and create your own realities.

Be strong enough to at least try to make your life better.

Be confident enough to settle your Latin and Anatomy examination. That is worth to spend 1.5 hours to take the dorpusk with Professor Shermakov.

Appreciate yourself by allowing yourself the opportunities to grow, develop and find your true sense of purpose in this life.

Don’t stand in someone else’s shadow when it’s your sunlight that should lead the way.

Work hard at what you like to do and try to overcome all obstacles.

Laugh at your mistakes and praise yourself for learning from them.

Pick some flowers and appreciate the beauty of nature.

Say hello to strangers and enjoy the people you know.

Don’t be afraid to show your emotions, laughing and crying make you feel better.

Love your friends and family with your entire being they are the most important part of your life.

Feel the calmness on a quiet sunny day.

Find a rainbow and live your world of dreams, always remember life is better than it seems.

Hope you and your friend always live happily at RSMU.

Face Your Problem

Dear Yi Jun,

What is the secret ingredient of tough people that enables them to succeed? Why do they survive the tough times when others are overcome by them? Why do they win when other lose? Why do they pass the examination when others fail?

The answer is very simple. It’s all in how they perceive their problems. Yes, every living person has problems. A problem – free life is an illusion – a mirage in the desert. Accept that fact.

Every mountain has a peak. Every valley has its low point. Life has its ups and downs, its peaks and its valleys. No one is up all the time, nor are they down all the time. Problems do end. They are all resolved in time.

You may not be able to control the times, but you can compose your responses. You may not have chosen your tough time, but you can choose how you will react to it. For instance, what is the positive reaction to settle your Latin examination? In this situation would it be the positive reaction to cop out and run away? Blame to others because didn’t help you? No! Such negative reactions only produce other problems. The positive solution to a problem may require courage to face your lecturer and settled all your academic debts by our own before you settle your visa issues.

When you control your reaction to the seemingly uncontrollable problem of life, then in fact you do control the problem’s effect on you. Your reaction to the problem is the last word! That’s the bottom line. What will you let this problem do to you? It can make you tender or tough. It can make you better or bitter. It all depends on you.

In the final analysis, the tough people who survive the tough times do so because they’ve chosen to react positively to their predicament. Tough times never last, but tough people do. Tough people stick it out. History teaches us that every problem has a lifespan. No problem is permanent. Please take care yourself.

The Benefits Of Work

Remember, my son, you have to work. Whether you handle a pick or a pen, a wheel-barrow or a set of books, digging ditches or editing a paper, ringing an auction bell or writing funny things, you must work. If you look around you will see the men who are the most able to live the rest of their days without work are the men who work the hardest. Don’t be afraid with overwork. It is beyond your power to do that on the sunny side of thirty. They die sometimes, but it is because they quit work at six in the evening, and do not go home until two in the morning. It’s the interval that kills, my son. The work gives you an appetite for your meals; it lends solidity to your slumbers; it gives you a perfect and grateful appreciation of a holidays.

There are young men who do not work, but the world is not proud of them. It does not know their names; even it simply speaks of them as “old so – and – so’s boy”. Nobody likes them; the great, busy world doesn’t know that they are there. So find out what you want to be and do, and take off your coat and make a dust in the world. The busier you are, the less harm you will be apt to get into, the sweeter will be your sleep, the brighter and happier your holidays, and the better satisfied will the world be with you.

年迈的父母

亲爱的姨姨：

面对自己的年迈父母，谁不想好好侍候他们度过晚年？但有时需要很大的耐心。亲友探访和关心不过是一两个小时的事，但侍候在侧，却是天天日以继夜的工作。所以我敬佩小姨天天在旁侍候婆婆。这差事不轻松。其实，很多老人都不想麻烦別人。如果自己可以做的事，他们并不想假手于人。老人最怕的就是被当成没有用的人或不被尊重啊！所以，当婆婆因无法完成某些事，我们千万不要対她露出不耐烦的表情。这是一记很重的心理伤害！希望大家都肯用多一点耐心对待家里的老人。
当我们年幼时，父母亲牵着我们的手慢慢走。如今，已经茁壯的自己，该是静下心来，静静地伴他们的时刻。和老人家相处时，记得放慢自己的步调，陪伴老人慢慢走。因为，我们面对的，莫非是未耒的自己。如果可以选择，老人都不愿意麻烦我们。祝幸福快乐。

Feather In The Wind

A certain good woman one day said something that hurt her best friend of many years. She regretted immediately and would have done anything to have taken the words back. What she said hurt the friend so much that this good woman was herself hurt for the pain she caused. In an effort to undo what she had done, she went to an older, wiser woman in the village, explained her situation and asked for advice.

Listening to her, the older woman sensed the younger woman’s distress and knew she must help her. She also knew she could never alleviate her pain, but she could teach. She knew the outcome would depend solely on the character of the younger woman. She said, “Tonight, take your best feather pillows and put a single feather on the doorstep of each house in town before the sun rises.”

The young woman hurried home to prepare for her chore, even though the feather pillows were very dear to her. All night long, she labored alone in the cold. Finally the sky was getting light and she placed the last feather on the steps of the last house. Just as the sun rose, she returned to the older woman.

“Now,” said the wise woman, “Go back and refill your pillows with the feather you have put on the steps. Then everything will be as it was before.”

“You know that’s impossible! The wind blew away each feather as fast as I placed them on the doorsteps!” The young woman was surprised.

“That’s true,” said the older woman, “Never forget. Each of your words is like a feather in the wind. Once spoken, no amount of effort, regardless how heartfelt or sincere, can never return them to your mouth. Choose your words well and guard them most of all in the presence of those you love.”

记父亲节

父亲的心声最难捉摸，
父亲的委屈最难被看到，
父亲的温柔容易被忽略，
疼爱妈妈之余，勿忘了爸爸的好！

父亲是一位性格如山的男人，他刚毅，坚强，沉稳，执著，从不屈服外力和困难，在我的记忆中，父亲仅仅流了一次泪。父亲的泪是因其一兒子被母亲的疏忽而溺敝。当晚邻居集聚在我家，那时的我仅五岁，自然不懂得生离死别的滋味。隔天早上，父亲坐在地上背靠牆无言以対，伤心的流泪。男人因为有眼泪可以沉淀情感，滋补心灵，所以更显丰满厚实。我为有我这样的父亲而自豪，因为他教会了我该如何做一个男人，他的眼泪滋润了我的一生！同时也教会我看透人生，没有一件东西可以永远与我们为伴，再亲爱的人，再多的财物，也终有离别聚散的时候，所以又有什么东西捨不得的呢?

We Are Happiest In Our Life

A man and his girlfriend were married. It was a large celebration. All of their friends and family came to see the lovely ceremony and to partake of the festivities and celebrations. All had wonderful time.

The bride was gorgeous in her white wedding gown and the groom was very dashing in his black tuxedo. Everyone could tell that the love they had for each other was true.

A few months later, the wife came to the husband with a proposal, “I read in a magazine, a while ago, about how we can strengthen our marriage,” she offered, “Each of us will write a list of the things that we find a bit annoying with the other person. Then, we can talk about how we can fix them together and make our lives happier together.”

The husband agreed. So each of them went to a separate room in the house and thought of the things that annoyed them about the other. They thought abut this question for the rest of the day and wrote down what they came up with.

The next morning, at the breakfast table, they decided that they would go over their lists.

“I’ll start.” offered the wife. She took out her list. It had many items on it. Enough to fill 3 pages, in fact. As she started reading the list of the little annoyances, she noticed that tears were starting to appear in her husband’s eyes.

“What’s wrong?” she asked. “Nothing,” the husband replied, “keep reading your list.”

The wife continued to read until she had read all three pages to her husband. She neatly placed her list on the table and folded her hands over the top of it.

“Now, you read your list and then we’ll talk about the things on both of our lists.” She said happily.

Quietly the husband stated, “I don’t have anything on my list. I think that you are perfect the way that you are. I don’t want you to change anything for me. You are lovely and wonderful and I wouldn’t want to try and change anything about you.”

The wife, touched by his honesty and the depth of his love for her and his acceptance of her, turned her head and wept.

In life, there is enough time when we are disappointed, depressed and annoyed. We don’t really have to go looking for them. We have a wonderful world that is full of beauty, light and promise. Why waste time in this world looking for the bad, disappointing or annoying when we can look around us and see the wondrous things before us?

对婆婆要用心，细心

亲爱的婆婆：

虽然我不能常回去探望婆婆，但通过书信也算是对婆婆的一种关怀。
婆婆是一位通情达理的丈母娘。记得三姨随夫婿回乡职教去。婆婆虽然不舍，但也没什么怨言。还说人家也有父母，莫因为了留住自己的女儿而让他人失去了一个儿子。婆婆虽然教育不多，但有圣人般的智慧。正如证严法师所说：【女儿出嫁了，是多了一个儿子，并非少了一个女儿。】婆婆深懂的放下，唯三姨自己放不下。
【放下】并不是不爱婆婆，而是对婆婆要用心，细心，不要操心，烦心。祝安康。

Life Is An Attitudes

Dear Yi Jun,

We walk through life making choices. Some of them are good and some of them not so good, but hopefully we learn something from all of them. Life is an attitude, our attitude always affects us. We can’t choose what happens to us, but we can choose our attitudes toward each situation.

If we walk through life on the path we have chosen feeling as though we have to do this or we have to do that, eventually we might fell overwhelmed. We must change our attitude and looking at the opportunities presented to us each day. If we at those opportunities or challenges with a “get to” instead of a “have to” se might enjoy the journey just a little bit more.

If you make a conscious effort over the next couple of days to exchange the words “have to” with “get to” in your conversations with friends, coworkers and family, but most of all in your thoughts, and something amazing will happen. You will notice that all the things you “get to” do and started appreciating the opportunities and challenges on your path.

Just imagine:
You get to go to university to fulfill your dream.
You get to go to oversea when so many people can’t.
You get to do the laundry, thankful for a washing machine and dryer.
You get spend time with a friend, who needs you help.
You get to read a book; you still have your sight.
You get to remember the things that make you happy.

I give you a challenge. With every thought and conversation for the next day or two, change the words “I have to” with the words “I get to” and see if it make a difference in your day.

A Lesson For Our Life

One day a father took his young son on a trip to the country with the firm purpose to show him how poor people can be. They spent a day and a night in the farm of a very poor family. When they got back from their trip the father asked his son, “How was the trip?”

“Very good, Dad!”

“Did you see how poor people can be?” the father asked.

“Yeah!”

“And what did you learn?”

The son answered, “I saw that we have a dog at home, and they have four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of the garden; they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lamps in the garden; they have the stars. Our patio reaches to the front yard; they have a whole horizon.”

When the little boy was finishing, his father was speechless.

His son added, “Thanks, Dad, for showing me how poor we are!”

Isn’t it ture that it all depends on the way you look a things? If you have love, friends, family, healath, good humor and a positive attitude towards life, you’ve got everything!

潮洲乡音

亲爱的婆婆：

门前两种梨，算来算去三百个;
人说阿兄会选妻，选得一个妻长短脚。

这是我小时候常听到婆婆哄孩子入睡的歌谣。这种旋律优美的声音，会让我们倍感亲切。一听见，心里会涌起温柔与亲和之感，我们称之为“潮洲乡音”。
潮洲乡音是新山人都熟悉的语言，也是伴随我们成长的各种声调。乡音，是我思念婆婆的记号，在浮华的变迁社会里，那是最温馨的回忆。
来到今天，以往熟悉的潮洲乡音也逐渐退隐至时代的角落，婆婆郎郎上口的歌谣随着婆婆的记忆渐渐地消失了。但是我还是感恩婆婆陪着我们走到今天这个进步的社会。感谢婆婆，祝身体健康。

I Wish You Enough

Dear Yi Jun,

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirits up.
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough hellos to get your friends at Moscow.