Our Own Identity

In the eternal universe, every human being has a one – off chance to live – his existence is unique and irretrievable, for the mold with which he was made, as Rousseau said, was broken by God immediately afterwards.

Fame, wealth and knowledge are merely worldly possessions that are within the reach of anybody striving for them. But your experience of and feelings about life are your own and not to be shared. No one can live your life over again after your death. A full awareness of this will point out to you that the most important thing in your existence is your distinctive individuality or something special of yours. What really counts is not your worldly success but your peculiar insight into the meaning of life and your commitment to it, which add luster to your personality.

It is not easy to be what one really is. There is many a person in the world who can be identified as anything – either his job, his status or his social role – that shows no trace about his individuality. It does do him justice to say that he has no identity of his own, if he doesn’t know his own mind and all his things are either arranged by others or done on others’ suggestions; if his life, always occupied by external things, is completely void of an inner world. You won’t be able to find anything whatever, from head to heart, that truly belongs to him. He is, indeed, no more than a shadow cast by somebody else or a machine capable of doing business.

让生命在每一个当下圆满

亲爱的婆婆：

回想自己定居巴生的时间，不知不觉已经有二十六年了，还记得当初，对家有着殷切的思念，我离开家之后才深深地感受到家的美好；当父亲突然往生之后，才让我了解到感恩，生存的价值，才想到有好多的“应该做”，结果都错失了。要弥补错失，唯有把这应该做的想法转变成马上做的行动，应该好好地去珍惜还健在的婆婆，妈妈及身边所有的人，要马上告诉他们，我多么感谢他们对我们所付出的一切，让他们知道他们教育的苦心没白费。让生命在每一个当下圆满，让生活没有太大的遗憾。祝福大家在生命的旅途中，一路顺风，自在无碍。

You Are On A Journey

Wherever you are and whoever you may be, there is one thing in which you and I are just alike at this moment and in all the moments of our existence: we are not at rest; we are on a journey. Our life is a movement, a tendency, a steady, ceaseless progress towards an unseen goal. We are gaining something or losing something, everyday. Even when our position and our character seem to remain precisely the same, they are changing. For the mere advance of time is a change. It is not the same thing to have a bare field in January and in July. The season makes the difference. The limitations that are childlike in the child are childish in the man.

Everything that we do is a step in one direction or another. Even the failure to do something is in itself a deed. It sets us forward or backward. The action of the negative pole of a magnetic needle is just as real as the action of the positive pole. To decline is to accept – the other alternative.

Are you nearer to your port today than you were yesterday? Yes, -- you must be a little nearer to some port or other; for since your ship was first launched upon the sea of life, you have never been still for a single moment; the sea is too deep, you could not find an anchorage if you would; there can be no pause until you come into port.

现实生活的无奈

亲爱的婆婆：

妈妈说四姨也有阅读婆婆的信，因此让我谈些与四姨有关的往年事迹。在小学毕业时，四姨是位名列前茅的优异生，但因当时生活崎岖困苦，环境所逼，婆婆决定让四姨休学出来工作补足家用。这个晴天霹雳的消息让四姨流下生活无情的眼泪，伤心了好几天。婆婆何尝也不如此难过。婆婆向来都疼爱孩子，庇护她们，期望孩子们可以安心求学，无忧无虑的长大；但现实生活的无奈，只好下了百般不愿的痛苦抉择。假如没有四姨的牺牲小我就不能实践姐妹们爱求学的梦想，所以至今四姨深懂得珍惜求学的机会，成就孩子圆满其心愿。如果把婆婆比喻成一支蜡烛，四姨就是这支蜡烛的心，没有心的蜡烛就不能燃烧，即使有心，也要点燃才有意义，点燃了的蜡烛会有泪，但总比没有燃烧的好。
祝：幸福快乐

Man’s Youth

Man’s youth is a wonderful thing: it is so full of anguish and of magic and he never comes to know it as it is, until it has gone from him forever. It is the thing he cannot hear to lose, it is the thing whose passing he watches with infinite sorrow and regret, it is the thing whose loss he must lament forever, and it is the thing whose loss he really welcomes with a sad and secret joy, the thing he would never willingly relive again, could it be restored to him by any magic.

Why is this? The reason is that the strange and bitter miracle of life is nowhere else so evident as in our youth. And what is the essence of that strange and bitter miracle of life which we feel so poignant, so unutterable, with such a bitter pain and joy, when we are young? It is this: that being rich, we are so poor; that being mighty, we can yet have nothing; that seeing, breathing, smelling, tasting all around us the impossible wealth and glory of this earth, feeling with an intolerable certitude that the whole structure of the enchanted life – the most fortunate, wealthy, good, and happy life that any man has ever known – is ours – is ours at once, immediately and forever, the moment that we choose to take a step, or stretch a hand, or say a word – we yet know that we can really keep, hold, take and possess forever – nothing. All passes; nothing lasts: the moment that we put our hand upon it, it melts away like smoke, is gone forever, and the snake is eating at our heart again; we see then what we are and what our lives must come to.

A young man is so strong, so mad, so certain and so lost. He has everything and he is able to use nothing. He hurls the great shoulder of his strength forever against phantasmal barriers, he is a wave whose power explodes in lost mid-oceans under timeless skies, he reaches out to grip a fume of painted smoke, and he wants all, feels the thirst and power for everything and finally gets nothing. In the end, he is destroyed by his own strength, devoured by his own hunger, impoverished by his own wealth. Thoughtless of money or the accumulation of material possessions, he is none the less defeated in the end by his own greed a greed that makes the avarice of King Midas seem paltry by comparison.

And that is the reason why, when youth is gone, every man will look back upon that period of his life with infinite sorrow and regret. It is the bitter sorrow and regret of man who knows that once he had a great talent and wasted it, of a man who knows that once he had a great treasure and got nothing from it, of a man who knows that he had strength enough for everything and never used it.

感谢婆婆的恩惠

亲爱的婆婆：

我的童年生活就在婆婆家成长，所以对婆婆有着一份深厚的感情。曾经有几回没钱缴交区区八十六元的学费，向婆婆求援，婆婆从未拒绝过在教育上的援助。写到此，我不得不承认原来我今天的成就不全在我，而是仰赖着父母，婆婆及姨姨们，才圆满的，我认识到我们生命和我们周遭的人事物其实是息息相关的，从婆婆的谆谆教诲，父母的养育之恩到师长的教导，从安定的成长环境，到接受得来不易的母语教育熏陶，从我们所呼吸的每一口空气到和我们朝夕相对的家人，我们的生命是由一连串的恩赐所编而成的。因此我必须常常感谢婆婆的恩惠造就今天的我，此生莫齿难忘。祝：婆婆身体健康，万寿无疆。

The Road Of Life

The lives of most men are determined by their environment. They accept the circumstances amid which fate has thrown them not only with resignation but even with good will. They are like streetcars running contentedly on their rails and they despise the sprightly flitter that dashes in and out of the traffic and speeds so jauntily across the open country. I respect them; they are good citizens, good husbands and good fathers and of course somebody has to pay the taxes; but I do not find them exciting. I am fascinated by the men, few enough in all conscience, who take life in their own hands and seem to mould it to their own liking. It maybe that we have no such thing as free will, but at all events, we have the illusion of it. At a cross road it does seem to us that we might go either to the right or the left and the choice once made, it is difficult to see that the whole course of the world’s history oblige us to take the turning we did.

有空一定要去深望婆婆

亲爱的婆婆：

妈妈时常交待说：“阿嬷这么老了，有空一定要去探望她。“孙子深望婆婆固然可贵，但女儿们探望妈妈更为重要。婆婆渴望见到的是女儿并非孙子。因为女儿是妈妈身上的一块肉，母女的亲情是与生俱来，怎样甩也甩不掉。希望阿姨们有阅读婆婆的信，然后亲切的向婆婆请安，至少每周日探望她老人家一次。
婆婆看似那么的近，但却离我们越来越远了。也许有一天，婆婆会望着来访的女儿问来者是谁。因为婆婆的记忆已随着时间而逐渐健忘了。行孝不能等，该做就要把握时机，也要把握因缘，因缘消逝才想做就来不及了。人总是想要去行好孝，但都想等到自己有时间，或有空余时才去做，须知人生无常啊！只要有心，哪怕是亲切的一个问候，也要赶快去做，千万不要等到因缘错过留下遗憾。祝：合家平安。

With Love In My Heart

I will greet this day with love in my heart. For this is the greatest secret of success in all ventures. Muscle can split a shield and even destroy life but only the unseen power of love can open the hearts of men. I sill make love my greatest weapon and none can defend against its force.

And how will I do this? Henceforth will I look on all things with love and I will be born again. I will love the sun for it warms my bones; yet I will love the rain for it cleanses my spirit. I will love the light for it shows me the way; yet I will love the darkness for it shows me the stars. I will welcome happiness for it enlarges my heart; yet I will endure sadness for it opens my soul. I will acknowledge rewards for they are my due; yet I will welcome obstacles for they are my challenge.

And how will I speak? I will laud mine enemies and they will become friends; I will encourage my friends and they will become brothers. Always will I dig for reasons to applaud; never will I scratch for excuses to gossip. When I am tempted to criticize I will bite on my tongue; when I am moved to praise I will shout from the roofs.

Is it not so that birds, the wind, the sea and all nature speak with the music of praise for their creator? Cannot I speak with the same music to his children? Henceforth will I remember this secret and it will change my life.

And how will I act? I will love all manner of men for each has qualities to be admired even though they are hidden. With love I will tear down the wall of suspicion and hate which they have built round their hearts and in its place will I build bridges so that my love may enter their souls.

I will love the ambitious for they can inspire me! I will love the failures for they can teach me. I will love the kings for they are but human; I will love the meek for they are divine. I will love the rich for they are yet lonely.

I will love the poor for they are so many. I will love the young for the faith they hold; I will love the old for the wisdom they share. I will love the beautiful for their eyes of sadness; I will love the ugly for their souls of peace.

But how will I react to the actions of others? With love, for just as love is my weapon to open the hearts of men, and love is also my shield to repulse the arrows of hate and the spears of anger. Adversity and discouragement will beat against my new shield and become as the softest of rains.

And how will I confront each whom I meet? In only one way – In silence and to myself I will address him and say “I Love You”. Though spoken in silence these words will shine in my eyes, unwrinkled my brow, bring a smile to my lips and echo in my voice; and his heart will be opened.

有孝才有善

亲爱的姨姨：

妈妈常常赞赏小姨是现代的孝顺女儿，对婆婆的关照无微不至。小姨是以日常的行动来感恩婆婆这一生对大家的付出，也让婆婆知道她的教诲没白费。每当悉知小姨周日带婆婆去逛巴刹，我都很感欣慰婆婆有这么健康的体魄。虽然婆婆有女佣扶助行动，但婆婆总是拂手而去，不睬女佣的照顾。因为女佣不如小姨般关照，就是少了那颗心。小姨深懂用心照顾婆婆，所以婆婆活得很开心；而女佣两年期限一到就回国，小姨则不弃不离永远都会陪伴在婆婆的身旁天天为婆婆整装疏发就如小时候婆婆替小姨梳头杂发鞭那样温馨。小姨阿，您可知道吗，有孝才有善，所有真正的好人从尽孝开始。祝：幸福快乐。

The End Of The Year

Come to the end of the year, it means I am growing old. I was planning to conquer the Mountain Kinabalu summit as many as possible before it conquers me one day.

A great psychologist said that most men are “old fogies at twenty five.”

He was right. Most men at twenty five are satisfied with their jobs. They have accumulated the little stock of prejudices that they call their “principles” and closed their minds to all new ideas; they have ceased to grow.

The minute a man ceases to grow – no matter what his years – that minute he begins to be old.

On the other hand, the really great man never grows old.

Goethe passed away at eighty three and finished his “Faust” only a few years earlier, Gladstone took up a new language when he was seventy.

Laplace, the astronomer, was still at work when death caught up with him at seventy eight. He died crying: “What we know is nothing; what we do not know is immense.”

And there you have the real answer to the question: “When is a man old?”

Laplace at seventy eight died young. He was still unsatisfied, still sure that he had a lot to learn.

陈年往事

亲爱的婆婆：

二十世纪四十年代末期，太平洋战争宣告结束，国共内战方兴未艾。动荡的年代，公公从汕头飘洋南渡，乘了一周的轮船方在山打根落脚，最后转移至新山，与友人合伙共做零售杂货小生意谋生，略有积蓄便寄款回乡孝敬父母。贫瘠的时代，通讯迟缓，资源短缺，家乡回寄的收据回条，纸轻情义重，上印“佳音捷报”四个字。这种“唐山批”的小信筏妈妈最清楚，都记载隔着海洋的亲情之音，都是苦情，南洋谋生苦，家乡生活苦，两边思念苦，这种苦情也许是在南洋出生的这一代所无法体会出的。婆婆，在您的记忆中还可记得这些陈年往事？还是已随着时光的流逝而逐渐淡忘在我们的脑海里了？祝：合家平安。

Beauty

And a poet said, speak to us of beauty.

And he answered: Where shall you seek beauty and how shall you find her unless herself be your way and your guide? And how shall you speak of her except she be the weaver of your speech.

The aggrieved and the injured say, “Beauty is kind and gentle. Like a young mother half – shy of her own glory she walks among us.”

And the passionate say, “Nay, beauty is a thing of might and dread. Like the tempest she shakes the earth beneath us and the sky above us.”

The tired and the weary say, “Beauty is of soft whisperings. She speaks in our spirit. Her voice yields to our silences like a faint light that quivers in fear of the shadow.”

But the restless say, “We have heard her shouting among the mountains. And with her cries came the sound of hoofs and the beating of wings and the roaring of lions.”

At night the watchmen of the city say, “Beauty shall rise with the dawn from the east.” And at noontide the toilers and the wayfarers say, “We have seen her leaning over the earth from the windows of the sunset.”

In winter say the snow-bound, “She shall come with the spring leaping upon the hill.”

And in the summer heat the reapers say, “We have seen her dancing with the autumn leaves and we saw a drift of snow in her hair.”

All these things have you said of beauty. Yet in truth you spoke not of her but of needs unsatisfied and beauty is not a need but an ecstasy. It is not a mouth thirsting nor an empty hand stretched forth, but rather a heart enflamed and a soul enchanted. It is not the image you would see or the song you would hear, but rather an image you though you close your eyes and a song you hear though you shut your ears. It is not the sap within the furrowed bank, nor a wing attached to a claw, but rather a garden for ever in bloom and a flock of angels for ever in flight.

People of Orphalese, beauty are life when life unveils her holy face.

But you are life and you are the veil.

Beauty is eternity gazing at itself in a mirror. But you are eternity and you are the mirror.

我的公公

亲爱的婆婆：

清明时节倍思亲，想到看我长大的公公，不禁泪下。公公去世已经二十多年了，他是我心目中的“圣人”，一辈子没有坏习气，从不口出恶言，孝顺父母，友爱兄弟，爱护妻小，邻里和睦。公公勤劳节俭，严肃，不苟言笑，但左邻右舍人人都敬重他，子女们都敬畏他。这一生一世，我都不敢或忘记公公的身教和遗教。
虽然公公已经不在世了，但每次见到公公灵位前祭拜的黑啤酒及点燃过的烟蒂让我颇为感动姨姨们对公公的那份孝心。所谓有孝才有福，有愿就有力，自造福田，自得福缘。祝幸福快乐。

Work And Pleasure

To be really happy and really safe, one ought to have at least two or three bobbies and they must all be real. It is no use starting late in life to say: “I will take an interest in this or that.” Such an attempt only aggravates the strain of mental effort. A man may acquire great knowledge of topics unconnected with his daily work and yet hardly get any benefit or relief. It is no use doing what you like; you have got to like what you do. Broadly speaking, human beings may be divided into three classes: those who are toiled to death, those who are worried to death and those who are bored to death. It is no use offering the manual labourer, tired out with a hard week’s sweat and effort, the chance of playing a game of football or baseball on Saturday afternoon. It is no use inviting the politician or the professional or business man, who has been working or worrying about serious things for six days, to work or worry about trifling things at the weekend.

It may also be said that rational, industrious, useful human beings are divided into two classes: first, those whose work is work and whose pleasure is pleasure and secondly, those whose work and pleasure are one. Of these the former are the majority. They have their compensations. The long hours in the office or the factory bring with them as their reward, not only the means of sustenance, but a keen appetite for pleasure even in its simplest and most modest forms. But Fortune’s favoured children belong to the second class. Their life is a natural harmony. For them the working hours are never long enough. Each day is a holiday and ordinary holidays when they come are grudged as enforced interruptions in an absorbing vocation. Yet to both classes the need of an alternative outlook, of a change of atmosphere, of a diversion of effort, is essential. Indeed, it may well be that those whose work is their pleasure are those who most need the means of banishing it at intervals from their minds.

孙子怎么能不来看婆婆

亲爱的婆婆：

清明时节雨纷纷，路上行人欲断魂。
借问酒家何处有，牧童谣指杏花村。

每当清明节快到时，就会想起杜牧这首诗。清明节也称为孝亲节，让我们在有生之年孝顺感恩年长之辈，不让它在我们生命中出现任何遗憾，所以在时间的许可下，我会常去探望婆婆，要不然就写信问候婆婆。我最记得婆婆曾对我说：“孙子，你怎么能不来看我。”因此我务必好好把握机会常写信给婆婆。
最后我诚心以感恩之心感谢婆婆对我的照顾，没有婆婆的关照，也没今日的我。婆婆在我的心目中无人可取代。婆婆永远是我那位和蔼可亲的至亲。祝：安康

Friendship

Your friend is you needs answered. He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanks giving. And he is your board and your fireside, for you come to him with your hunger and you seek for peace.

When your friend speaks his mind you fear not the “nay” in your own mind, nor do you withhold the “ay”; and when he is silent your heart ceases not to listen to his heart; for without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires, all expectations are born and shared, with joy that is unacclaimed.

When you part from your friend, you grieve not, for that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain.

And let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit, for love that seeks aught but the disclosure of its own mystery is not love but a net cast forth: and only the unprofitable is caught.

And let your best be for your friend. If he must know the ebb of your tide, let him know its flood also, for what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill?

Seek him always with hours to live, for it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness. And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter and sharing of pleasures, for in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.

谢谢婆婆

亲爱的婆婆：

谢谢婆婆把我妈妈从老远的潮安带下南洋，所以才造就了今天的我。婆婆以坚强不拔的精神养育了每一位女儿成长，更期望她们都有好的归宿；而且还要为她们的子女们操心。婆婆辛苦了一辈子，不为什么，只为能让生命能延续下去。婆婆对子女们的爱是一份清静无染的爱，无分别心，无求回报；所以婆婆活得快乐自在，没有烦恼；反而是姨姨们为婆婆担忧太多了，为自己寻找烦恼。其实婆婆已经尽力去做好人，放下执著活在当下了；所以我们必须去学习婆婆的人生智慧。
人生犹如一场戏，种种的烦恼，要随着幕升幕落而消逝，不要执著于心上，若能时时刻刻消除内心的烦恼，化为一股清凉的悲心，即是婆婆的智慧了。祝：健康幸福

Man’s Guide

Man in this moment of his history has emerged in greater supremacy over the forces of nature than has ever been dreamed of before. There lies before him, if he wishes, a golden age of peace and progress. He has only to conquer his last and worst enemy – himself.

The only guide to a man is his conscience; the only shield to his memory is the rectitude and sincerity of his actions. It is very imprudent to walk through life without this shield, because we are so often mocked by the failure of our hopes, but with this shield, however the Fates may play, we march always in the ranks of honor.

We shall go forward together. The road upward is long. There are upon our journey dark and dangerous valleys, through which we have to make and fight our way. But it is sure and certain that if we persevere and we shall persevere, we shall come through these dark and dangerous valleys into sunlight broader and more genial and more lasting than mankind has ever know.

姨姨们对婆婆关怀之至

亲爱的婆婆：

在睡梦中被婆婆慈祥的面孔唤醒，思念婆婆的心情让我不觉中落泪。婆婆青春年少时离乡背景到南洋寻找新生活；深切悉知这一离乡后，返回的日子遥遥无期，下跪家婆叩了头便道别潮安离开了汕头。这一幕让我深深的感动，婆婆为了让新生命能够在异乡延续下去，尽一生的忙碌与努力担当整个家庭的生活，其功不可没。如今婆婆已是白发苍苍的九旬老人家了，有安逸幸福的日子过是另人欣慰的乐事。幸好众阿姨们个个都能尽孝心，对婆婆关怀之至，周日不忘去探望您老人家，小姨也常陪伴婆婆逛巴刹。姨姨们深懂得感恩婆婆这些年来对她们的付出。这是我们做晚辈必须学习的风范。最后让我向婆婆请安，表达我深切的问候与关怀。祝婆婆永远健康幸福。

Life Instructions

Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

Memorize your favorite poem.

Don’t believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

When you say, “I love you”, mean it.

When you say, “I’m sorry”, look the person in the eye.

Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

Believe in love at first sight.

Never laugh at anyone’s dreams. People who don’t have dreams don’t have much.

Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it’s the only way to live life completely.

In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

Don’t judge people by their relatives.

Talk slowly but think quickly.

When someone asks you a question you don’t want to answer, smile and ask, “Why do you want to know?”

Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

Call your parents.

Say “bless you” when you hear someone sneeze.

When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.

Remember the three R’s: 1. Respect for self; 2. Respect for others; 3. Responsibility for all your actions.

Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

Marry a man / woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

Spend some time alone.

Open hour arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.

Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

Read more books and watch less TV.

Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll get to enjoy it a second time.

Trust in God but lock your car.

A loving atmosphere in home is so important. Do all you can to create a tranquil harmonious home?

In disagreements with loved ones, deal with the current situation.

Don’t bring up the past.

Read between the lines.

Pray. There’s immeasurable power in it.

Never interrupt when you are being flattered.

Mind your own business.

Don’t trust a man / women who doesn’t close his / her eyes when you kiss.

Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.

If you make a lot of money, put it to use helping others while you are living. That is wealth’s greatest satisfaction.

Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a stroke of luck.

Remember that the best relationship is one where your love for each other is greater than your need for each other.

Judge your success by what you have done compared to what you could have done, not to what others have done with their abilities.

Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.

教育下一代，用心做人

亲爱的姨姨：

妈妈时常都在提醒我说: “婆婆已活了这把年纪，你得空的时候千万记得常给她老人家打电话问候。”婆婆听觉不好，不如写信来得好，又有小姨亲口代问候来的亲切。谢谢小姨一路来讨婆婆的细心照顾，也常代我向婆婆问候请安。不因什么，只因您的妈妈就是我的婆婆。
最近爱写信，伊浚成了我电脑的文书助理。过程中也可以教育下一代，让他们了解我们这一代是如何把人做好，用心做人，做好本分的工作，如小姨现在做者是。
生命教育提醒我们活着要感恩，珍惜拥有，而很多时候这简单适时的提醒，真的可以免除一生的遗憾；这简单适时的表达，会让身边的人知道，您是多么的感恩他们对您所做的一切。因为生命有限所以我们更要格外珍惜，因为有缘，所以我们更应该把握。祝福大家身体健康。

Perseverance

Napoleon declared, “Victory belongs to the most persevering.” Upon careful study we find perseverance depends upon three things – purpose, will and enthusiasm. He who has a purpose is always concentrating his forces. By the will, the hope and the plan are prevented from evaporating into dreams. Enthusiasm keeps the interest up and makes the obstacles seem small.

Life is in a sense a battle. The man who thinks to get on by mere smartness and by idling meets failure at last. Perseverance is the master impulse of the firmest souls and holds the key to those treasure-houses of knowledge from which the world has drawn its wealth both of wisdom and of moral worth.

Great men never wait for opportunities; they make them. They seize upon what ever is at hand, work out their problem and master the situation. The greatest thing a man can do in this world is to make the most possible out of the stuff that has been given to him. This I success and there is no other.

One of the important lessons of life is to learn how to get victory out of defeat. It takes courage and stamina, when mortified by humiliating disaster, to seek in the ruins the elements of future conquest. Yet this measures the difference between those who succeed and those who fail. We cannot measure a man by his failures. We must know what use he makes of them. The man who has not fought his way upward and does not bear the scar of desperate conflict does not know the highest meaning of success.

不为什么，只因为你是我的孩子

亲爱的母亲：

念小学五年级的时候，因您的疏忽，忘了留下巴士费便去上班。当时家境贫穷，翻开整间家也搜不出两毛钱来塔巴士，由于有耻向邻居借钱，只好提早徒步从拉庆老家走到市区宽柔一小；路经义兴路婆婆家，顺道问候婆婆。婆婆见到我汗流浃背问起原因，我说着说着，婆婆眼泪掉了下来，泪中悲欣交集，悲中柔和了婆婆对孙女们纯纯的爱，是如实的爱，就像冰心最著名的那一句“不为什么，只因为你是我的孩子”的爱。婆婆慈祥的面容唤起了我对婆婆的思念。现今婆婆的记忆逐渐淡忘，请切记转告我对婆婆的问候与关怀，以免日后空遗憾。祝：万事顺利。

“The Present”

Dear Yi Jun,

Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them: Work, Family, Health, Friends and Spirit. And you are keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls – family, health, friends and spirit are made of glass. If you drop one of these, it will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life.

How?

Don’t undermine your worth by comparing yourself to others. It is because we are different that each of us is special.

Don’t set your goals by what other people deem important. Only you know what is best for you.

Don’t take for granted the things closest to your heart. Cling to them as you would to your life, for without them, life is meaningless.

Don’t let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future. By living your life one day at a time, you live all the days of your life.

Don’t give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.

Don’t be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect. It is this fragile thread that binds us each together.

Don’t be afraid to encounter risks. It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.

Don’t shut love out of your life by saying it’s impossible to find. The quickest way to receive love is to give; the fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly; and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.

Don’t run through life so fast that you forget not only where you’ve been, but also where you are going.

Don’t forget, a person’s greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated.

Don’t be afraid to learn. Knowledge is weightless, a treasure you can always carry easily.

Don’t use time or words carelessly. Neither can be retrieved.
Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way.

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift; that’s why we call it “The Present”.

婆婆的爱

亲爱的姨姨：

每逢佳节倍思亲，在这次的农历新年里，很高兴能向婆婆拜年。听婆婆讲述陈年往事，眼中不禁泛着泪光。仔细品尝潜伏心中的情绪，慢慢呵护自己的心灵。最终我明白了，原来我好思念眼前婆婆纯纯的爱，婆婆虽然没有受过什么教育，但是她讲的往事都隐藏着人生的道理。在婆婆的爱之中看不到批判，因为婆婆的爱就是纯然的爱，是如实的爱 。同时婆婆也懂得疼惜这样的缘分的心情。临别时，我不忘给婆婆一个挚诚的拥抱道别。我知道我很珍惜每一次与婆婆的相逢，每一面的相会，都传达着温情与关爱，都传达着接纳和包容。让每一面美好，让每一个当下不留白。祝福大家身体健康，生活愉快。

If I Rest, I Rust

The significant inscription found on an old key “If I rest, I rust” would be an excellent motto for those who are afflicted with the slightest taint of idleness. Even the industrious might adopt it with advantage to serve as are minder that, if one allows his faculties to rest, like the iron in the unused key, they will soon show signs of rust and ultimately cannot do the work required of them.

Those who would attain the heights reached and kept by great men must keep their faculties polished by constant use, so that they may unlock the doors of knowledge, the gates that guard the entrances to the professions, to science, medicine, art, literature, agriculture very department of human endeavor.

Industry keeps bright the key that opens the treasure of achievement. If Hugh Miler, after toiling all day in a quarry, had devoted his evenings to rest and recreation, he would never have become a famous geologist. The celebrated mathematician, Edmund Stone, would never have published a mathematical dictionary, never have found the key to science of mathematics, if he had given his spare moments to idleness. Had the little Scotch lad, Ferguson, allowed the busy brain to go to sleep on the hillside, instead of calculating the position of the stars by a string of beads, he would never have become a famous astronomer.

Labor vanquished all not inconstant, spasmodic or ill directed labor, but faithful, unremitting, daily effort toward a well directed purpose. Just as truly as eternal vigilance is the price of liberty, so is eternal industry the price of noble and enduring success.

用心生活,照顾婆婆

亲爱的姨姨：

从妈妈口中悉知您对婆婆照顾的无微不至。婆婆也曾经提起过她感到自豪拥有这么一位孝顺女儿。其实您已经学会了把人做好，简单来说，把人做好就是把自己的分内事做好，应该什么角色就扮演什么角色。如果大家都能做好本分的工作，这个世界会变成一个祥和的乐园。
若我们平日生活用心，没有白过日子，对人对事问心无愧，自然就能放下自己了。所以，怎样把人做好是很重要的，千万不要等到最后一口气的时候才来思考这些问题啊，因为做人也是需要以经验中学习从错误中成长的。祝：安康。

The Value Of Time

“Time is money, youth is capital”, says the proverb. This means that every moment well spent may put some money into our pockets. If our time is usefully employed, it will either turn out some useful and important piece of work which will fetch its price in the market, or it will add to our experience and increase our capacities so as to enable us to earn money when the proper opportunity comes. Let those who think nothing of wasting time remember this.

Our life is nothing more than our time. To kill time is therefore a form of suicide. We are shocked when we think of death and we spare no pains, no trouble, and no expense to preserve life. But we are too often indifferent to the loss of an hour or of a day, forgetting that our life is the sum total of the days and of the hours we live. A day or an hour wasted is therefore so much life forfeited. Our life is a brief span measuring some seventy or eighty years in all. But nearly one third of this has to be spent in sleep; some years have to be spent over our meals; some in making journeys on land and voyages by sea; some in merry making; some in watching over the sick-beds of our nearest and dearest relatives. Now if all these years were to be deducted from the term over which our life extends, we shall find about twenty or thirty years at our disposal for active work. Whoever remembers this can never willingly waste a single moment of his life.

All time is precious, but the time of our childhood and of our youth is more precious than any other portion of our existence. For those are the periods when alone we can acquire knowledge and develop our capacities. If we allow these morning hours of life to slip away, we shall never be able to recoup the loss. Just as money lain out at interest doubles and trebles itself in time, so the precious hours of childhood any youth, if properly used, will yield us incalculable advantage.

家有一老，如有一宝

亲爱的母亲：

新年佳节期间，很高兴有缘向婆婆及阿姨们拜年。婆婆身体虽然老了，但是讲起往日孙子们的故事时都充满朝气和活力。当晚她老人家向我谈起阿亮的故事，阿辉的故事，雪梨的故事，锦连的故事及……。虽然个个故事千篇一律，重复了又在重复；我还是很有耐心的听完每一个故事的情节。个个故事让我感受到婆婆对生命充满了无限的热诚，希望与喜悦。论年龄；婆婆已近古稀之年，但是当我听她说起威风神勇的往事，仿佛回到了当年的时候。婆婆虽近在眉睫，但感觉上切离我们越来越远了。我们要好好的去珍惜。
家有一老，如有一宝；婆婆是值得我们去关心，体贴和问候。毕竟终有一天，我们每个人都会老去，当手执拐杖，白发苍苍的时候，回顾自己的一生，若能有婆婆般的贤慧与尊严，也才不狂此生。最后让我们大家一起来为婆婆祝福。希望她老人家永远健康，幸福与快乐

Success

There are no secrets of success. Success is doing the things you know you should do. Success is not doing the things you know you should not do.

Success in not limited to any one area of your life. It encompasses all of the facets of your relationships: as parent, as wife or husband, as citizen, neighbor, worker and all of the others.

Success is not confined to any one part of your personality but is related to the development of all the parts: body, mind, heart and spirit. It is making the most of your total self.

Success is discovering your best talents, skills and abilities and applying them where they will make the most effective contribution to your fellow men.

Success is focusing the full power of all you are on what you have a burning desire to achieve.

Success is 99% mental attitude. It calls for love, joy, optimism, confidence, serenity, poise, faith, courage, cheerfulness, imagination, initiative, tolerance, honesty, humility, patience and enthusiasm.

Success is not arriving at the summit of a mountain as a final destination. It is a continuing upward spiral of progress. It is a perpetual growth.

Success is having the courage to meet failure without being defeated. It is refusing to let present loss interfere with your long rang goal.

Success is accepting the challenge of the difficult. In the inspiring words of Phillips Brooks, “Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers. Pray for powers equal to your tasks. Then the doing of your work shall be no miracle, but you shall be the miracle.”

踏实做人

亲爱的母亲：

说到忙，说到穷，比起爸爸当年的生活和经济情况，我们现在算得了什么，爸爸虽然穷一辈子，但是积极，有进取心，所以不会轻易被恶劣的环境打败，如果不是爸爸的严格要求，就没有今天的我们。要脱离穷忙，或者要学习如何在穷和忙中找到平衡，快乐，看来除了精打细算，最基本的动作就是不要急功近利，而是要踏实做人。人生最踏实的事，是今日此时多少力量，就尽快付出，去作利益人群造福社会的工作。
祝：有心就有福

On Motes And Beams

It is curious that our own offenses should seem so much less heinous than the offenses of others. I suppose the reason is that we know all the circumstances that have occasioned them and so manage to excuse in ourselves what we cannot excuse in others. We turn our attention away from our own defects and when we are forced by untoward events to consider them, find it easy to condone them. For all I know we are right to do this; they are part of us and we must accept the good and bad in ourselves together.

But when we come to judge others, it is not by ourselves as we really are that we judge them, but by an image that we have formed of ourselves from which we have left out everything that offends our vanity or would discredit us in the eyes of the world. To take a trivial instance: how scornful we are when we catch someone out telling a lie; but who can say that he has never told even one, but a hundred?

There is not much to choose between men. They are all a hotchpotch of greatness and littleness, of virtue and vice, of nobility and baseness. Some have more strength of character or more opportunity and so in one direction or anther give their instincts freer play, but potentially they are the same. For my part, I do not think I am any better or any worse than most people, but I know that if I set down every action I my life and every thought that has crossed my mind, the world would consider me a monster of depravity. The knowledge that these reveries are common to all men should inspire one with tolerance to oneself as well as to others. It is well also if they enable us to look upon our fellows, even the most eminent and respectable, with humor and if they lead us to take ourselves not too seriously.

挂念着在远方的亲人

亲爱的母亲：

以前常听妈妈说“冬至大过年”，这是现今孩子都不懂的道理，那是口耳相传的古老讯息，是入冬之时预告农历年将至的节目，围在餐桌前一边闲话家常一边搓汤圆的动作，因为好玩，方略尽绵力。
现在离家远了，想起从前一幕幕闹哄哄的气氛，慕然触动心灵，才发现一颗颗汤圆，都蕴蓄了凝聚的力量，默默守护着每个屋檐下，维系人世间最弥是珍贵的感情。以人情作依归的传统节日，在年岁渐长后，成了心之所归。家人永远是家人，在伤害和包容的循环中，每年的冬至，仍然深深想念着在远方的亲人。祝：冬至快乐。

Successful Living

The first requirement of effective living is that we should have some sort of aim. Generally speaking, the difference between a successful person and an unsuccessful one is that the former knows what he wants and bends every effort towards securing that end, while the latter has only a vague idea of what it is he is trying to do with his life.

Such a person may have day dreams in plenty, may wish vaguely to be and do this, that, and the other; but that is a vastly different thing from having a definite objective in living – an all constraining aim towards which all interest and effort are directed.

Ask half a dozen people what their aim in life is. You will be amazed to discover how greatly most of them will be taken by surprise at the question and how they will have considerable difficulty in answering it with any certainty. More important is ask yourself with the same question.

What is your own dominant air? What do you want to do and to be? Unless you can answer this question at once in a few crisp sentences, you have not really started on the path of successful living.

The aim need not b anything very startling like making a fortune, or establishing a nationwide chain of business, or writing a best seller. It may be to widen your general culture by ordered and regular reading. It may be to become as efficient as you possibly can be in your own job, even though that job is a limited one. It may be to engage in some sort of voluntary social service. It may be to lay in your own home the basis of a truly happy family.

Any one of these aims could become an engrossing and satisfying pursuit, greatly enriching your own life and that of the community in which you live.

The human spirit is capable of almost inconceivable triumphs. We shall save ourselves some unnecessary frustration and heart break, however, if we choose an aim which is reasonably within the scope of the powers with which we have been endowed.

Once the aim is fixed, we must be willing to under go the necessary discipline and to attain the necessary knowledge and competency to fulfill it.

Somebody once said, “Genius is 10 percent inspiration and 90 percent perspiration.” Many people fail to achieve their object because, while enamoured of the aim, they are less enamoured of the effort required in its fulfillment. They think how lovely it would be to play like Paderewski, but they are not willing to practice long hours daily as he did. They dream of writing a best seller, or of having their name in lights, but imagine that such things can be achieved simply by thinking about them!

Whatever our aim, we need an insatiable thirst for knowledge about it. On the tombstone of a famous scholar are the words, “He died learning.” Learned as he was, he never imagined that he knew everything that was to be known.

But mere theoretical knowledge is not enough. The runner needs to know all about the science of starting, about poise, about breathing. But he learns to run by running. So, too, the artist will learn about perspective, anatomy, color blending and much besides, but he perfects his art by painting!

No aim can be achieved without determination. The difficulties that can be overcome, the problems that can be solved and the success that can be achieved by the exercise of the will, are simply astonishing. Here lies one of the truly dynamic powers of the human spirit.

But coupled with the will there must be an emotional drive of imagination, too. The interest and enthusiasm with which we give ourselves to the task in hand determine to a large extent the measure of success we shall achieve. We do best those things which we love doing.

活在当下

亲爱的母亲：

爸爸对子女有一份清静无染的爱，他不会有得失心，不会想收回，也不求任何回报；所以爸爸活在当下没有烦恼。今朝有酒今朝醉，天天有歌连夜唱；只是好花不常开，好景不常在。爸爸就这么不告而别。
因此，若想当下生活得安宁和平静，享有生活的喜悦，就要避免在心中产生高下，贵贱，得失之类的自我评价。这就叫做活在当下，活在真实没有虚妄之中，就能快乐无忧。
祝：活在当下，心无挂碍。

Your Success Is Your Choice

Dear Yi Jun,

All of us ought to be able to brace ourselves for the predictable challenges and setbacks that crop up everyday. If we expect that life won’t be perfect, we’ll be able to avoid that impulse to quit. But even if you are strong enough to persist the obstacle course of life and work, sometimes you will encounter an adverse event that will completely knock you on your back.

Whether it’s a financial loss, the loss of respect of your peers or loved ones or some other traumatic event in your life, these major setbacks leave you doubting yourself and wondering if things can ever change for the better again.

Adversity happens to all of us and it happens all the time. Some form of major adversity is either going to be there or it’s lying in wait just around the corner. To ignore adversity is to succumb to the ultimate self-delusion.

But you must recognize that history is full of examples of men and women who achieved greatness despite facing hurdles so steep that easily could have crashed their spirit and left them lying in the dust. Abraham Lincoln overcomes a difficult childhood, depression, the death of two sons and constant ridicule during the Civil War to become arguably greatest president ever. Helen Keller made an impact on the world despite being deaf, dumb and blind from an early age. Franklin Roosevelt had polio.

There are endless examples. These were people who not only looked adversity in the face but learned valuable lessons about overcoming difficult circumstances and were able to move ahead.

珍惜

亲爱的母亲：

如果墙上的时钟整天都一直在滴滴答答响，我们就不会觉知到它的存在，但是如果有一天突然停止，我们将会立刻觉知到。
我们和亲人的情况不也一样，当爸爸还在的时候，我们常视若无睹，我们不会想他，但是当他离开人间时，仍健在的我们常会想起他在世的点点滴滴，那个身影会一再浮现。我们知道“爸爸已经不在了。”但是当我们说他不在时，他已经存在我们心里了，所以别太忧伤，要多珍惜还在我们身旁的人。
祝：心开运就来

The "Competition" Meant

Once my mother told me a story. In Africa, when an antelope wakes up every morning, the first thing it thinks about is, “I must be able to run faster than the fastest lion or I will be killed.” At the same time, a lion wakes from his dream. The first thing the lion thinks about is, “I must be able to catch the slowest antelope or I will starve to death.” So, almost at the same time, the antelope and the lion get up and start running toward the rising sun.

This is life: full of chances and challenges. Whether you are an antelope or a lion, you must go ahead when the sun rises. For students, it is just the same. If we do not study hard, sooner or later, we will fall behind the other students. At first, I did not know what the word “exam” meant. Later, I knew an exam was a kind of competition. In competitions, there are always winners and losers. As I grew up, I got to know competition well. In one’s life, there must be competitions, so people can improve.

Each time I saw children playing games and heard their laughter, I wished I were that age again. However, I remembered my parents’ words: “You must work very hard in order to have a good future.” So I picked up my pen and began to study hard again.

I was still not sure what competition really meant. On day, I was taking part in a Malay-speaking competition. When I went to the stage, I saw other students looking at me kindly. I suddenly knew what competition was. It is not as cruel as my teacher and parents told me. In fact, competition is the opposite: it is kind and necessary.

I learned a lot from realizing this fact. Now I understand more about the world. Competition is important for us all.

生命的路是要自己从荆棘中踏出来的

亲爱的母亲：

外婆已届暮年，日薄西山，由于女儿孙子众多，探望外婆的人也多。尤其是新年或生日期间，亲友来访络绎不绝，作为子孙的，都会奉献红包向她祝福添寿。可是她都会把红包奉还。也许金钱对她没那么重要，子孙满堂才是件乐事；故红包回敬子孙，祝福子孙事业昌盛进步。
记得念高中时，因家里经济拮据，我交不出八十六元的学期费。我犹如热锅上的蚂蚁，心急如焚。一向性子硬，不肯屈膝求人的我，只好迎着头皮，低颜向外婆求借。
俗语说：“渴望一滴如甘露，醉后添杯不如无。”当时虽然三几十元，却可以改变我的一生命运。离校后，穷有穷干，苦有苦干，儿孙自有儿孙福，凭自己的努力，突破困境，就如鲁迅所说：“生命的路是要自己从荆棘中踏出来的”。财富与幸福不是等待别人赐给的，而是要自己创造的。光明来自黑暗，幸福来自痛苦，从苦境中才能了解人生真谛。祝：吉祥幸福快乐

Ambition

It is not difficult to imagine a world short of ambition. It would probably be a kinder world: without demands, without abrasions, without disappointments. People would have time for reflection. Such work as they did would not be for themselves but for the collective. Competition would never enter in. Conflict would be eliminated, tension become a thing of the past. The stress of creation would be at an end. Art would no longer be troubling, but purely celebratory in its functions. The family would become superfluous as a social unit, with all its former power for bringing about neurosis drained away. Longevity would be increased, for fewer people would die of heart attack or stroke caused by tumultuous endeavor. Anxiety would be extinct. Time would stretch on and on, with ambition long departed from the human heart.

Ah, how unrelieved boring life would be!

There is a strong view that holds that success is a myth and ambition therefore a sham. Does this mean that success does not really exist? That achievement is at bottom empty? That the efforts of men and women are of no significance alongside the force of movements and events? Now not all success, obviously, is worth esteeming, or all ambition worth cultivating. Which are and which are not is something one soon enough learns on one’s own. But even the most cynical secretly admit that success exists; that achievement counts for a great deal and that the true myth is that the actions of men and women are useless. To believe otherwise is to take on a point of view that is likely to be deranging. It is, in its implications, to remove all motives for competence, interest in attainment and regard for posterity.

We do not choose to be born. We do not choose our historical epoch, the country of our birth or the immediate circumstances of our up bringing. We do not, most of us, choose to die; nor do we choose the time or conditions of our death. But within all this realm of choicelessness, we do choose how we shall live: courageously or in cowardice, honorably or dishonorably, with purpose or in drift. We decide what is important and what is trivial in life. We decide that what makes us significant is either what we do or what we refuse to do. But no matter how indifferent the universe may be to our choices and decisions, these choices and decisions are ours to make. We decide. We choose. And as we decide and choose, so are our lives formed. In the end, forming our own destiny is what ambition is about.

选择放下就能活在当下

锦莲：

新生命的诞生是旧有生命的传承与延续，从中你可感到一种无法言喻的神奇力量。西班牙就有句谚语说：“孩子是天上掉下的礼物，要好好珍惜，才能保存！
偏偏太有责任感的你放不下，抛不下手边一堆的工作。这似乎是成人世界的责任与义务，也可以说是无奈与感伤。因此你女儿与你只维持四个多月的因缘，也许她来这个世界想传达一些信息给你。请你好好的去体会与觉醒。再别把女儿的往生当成赌注，让她在天之灵能安息。祝：选择放下就能活在当下。

Which Are You?

A daughter complained to her father about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved a new one arose.

Her father, a cook, took her to the kitchen. He filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to a boil. In one he placed carrots, in the second he placed eggs and in the last he placed ground coffee beans. He let them sit and boil, without saying a word.

The daughter sucked her teeth and impatiently waited, wondering what he was doing. In about twenty minutes he turned off the burners. He fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. He pulled the eggs out and placed them a bowl. Then he ladled the coffee out and placed it in a mug. Turning to her he asked, “Darling, what do you see?”

“Carrots, eggs and coffee,” she replied.

He brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. He then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, he asked her to sip the coffee. She smiled, as she tasted its rich aroma.

“What does it mean, Dad?” She humbly asked.

He explained that each of them had faced the same adversity, boiling water, but each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. But after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

“Which are you?” he asked his daughter.

When adversity knocks on hour door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

我亲爱的外婆

亲爱的母亲：

为父受戒百日已过，趁这次假期抽空探望外婆，她老人家比上回消瘦多，但健康依旧精神奕奕，只较健忘，她也自认记忆大不如前。
见到曾外孙们个个成长成人，他那份喜悦的心情我也能体会得出。
临别前，她从腰间掏出一些钱给曾孙们。每次我都被她的举动而愕然。她坚持一定要我们收下，我不敢违拗，恭敬不如从命，只好收下，但总是感到别扭，很不自在。
收下钱，不胜感慨。我正处盛年，一向自立更生，虽然一生劳劳役役，而今生活略可安裕，作为子孙本应尽报养之恩，为何还要外婆的钱？为了尊重她老人家的心意，只好接受她的钱，让她得到宽慰，但也令我凭空增添一份惆怅。 祝：健康快乐

Your Beliefs

Your beliefs are very powerful and have the power to create or to destroy your life. In most cases, whatever you believe is what you will become. If you believe that you are loser, that you never get a break in life that you can’t accomplish anything, these things will be your reality. Believe that you are unlimited, that you can do anything you commit to doing and when you do, your accomplishments will know no bounds.

You control your beliefs and that is how you ultimately control your life. This is a very important point. So how do you develop beliefs that will empower you?

Many of our beliefs come from our environment, the world we live in on a daily basis. If your environment is limiting your beliefs, then work very hard on changing it. If you are constantly around people who negative and limiting, find other people to hang out with. Get around positive, successful people.

Beliefs also come from past experience. That is why it is so important to experience success on a regular basis. Set small, achievable goals and then try your best to reach them. “I will finish this project by early afternoon.” “I will do my colloquium with sketch shown the next hour.” “I will exercise for 30 minutes for 5 km this evening.” When you start to experience success, then start to believe in success and that leads to more and bigger successes.

Beliefs come from knowledge. The more you learn the more things you will know to be possible. Always take advantage of opportunities to learn something new. It will bring new possibilities into your beliefs and your life.

Most importantly, you can develop new beliefs by setting and visualizing goals for your life. Define your goals clearly and with precision. Then, in your mind, see yourself achieving them in all of their sensory details. Mentally live the experience, see the sights, hear the sounds, smell the aroma, feel the feelings. Your nurtured beliefs will lead you to their reality.

新的出口，就在放下当中

锦莲：

你女儿不幸的消息确实令我们无不震惊与难过。一时间难以接受活人早已化为骨灰的事实，在百般悲伤和无奈的情况之下，我们盼望你能够早日走出忧伤和放下悲痛。
生有日，死也有时，无人有权利掌管生命，将生命留住；也无人有权利掌管死期。这生命中最后的争战；没有一人能幸免。人类为有安然学习，勇敢去面对和接纳早已不能改变的事实。因此，当你跌入生命的幽谷时，不妨不挣扎也不怨天，选择放下，全然地拥抱幽谷的一切，这时，你会发现原来新的出口，就在这放下当中。祝：幸福快乐。

The "SECRETS" To A Great Life

A great life doesn’t by accident. A great life is the result of allocating your time, energy, thoughts and hard work towards what you want your life to be. Stop setting yourself up for stress and failure and start setting up your life to support success and ease. A Great life is the result of using the 24 /7 you get in a creative and thoughtful way, instead of just what comes next. Customize these “SECRETS” to fit your own needs and style and start creating your own great life today!

1. S – simplify. A great life is the result of simplifying your life. People often misinterpret what simplify means. It’s not a way to remove work from your life. When you focus on simplifying your life, you free up energy and time for the work that you enjoy and the purpose for which you are here. In order to create a great life, you will have to make room for it in yours first.

2. E – Effort. A great life is the result of your best effort. Creating a great life requires that you make some adjustments. It may mean reevaluating how you spend your time or choosing to spend your money in a different way. It may mean looking for new ways to spend your energy that coincide with your particular definition of a great life. Life will reward your best effort.

3. C – Create Priorities. A great life is the result of creating priorities. It’s easy to spend your days just responding to the next thing that gets your attention, instead of intentionally using the time, energy and money you have in a way that’s important to you. Focus on removing the obstacles that get in the way of you making sure you are honoring your priorities.

4. R – Reserves. A great life is the result of having reserves – reserves of things, time, space, energy, money. With reserves, you acquire far more than you need not 6 months living expenses, but 5 years worth; not 15 minutes of free time, 1 day. Reserves are important because they reduce the fear of consequences and that allows you to make decisions based on what you really want instead of what the fear decides for you.

5. E – Eliminate distractions. A great life is the result of eliminating distractions. Up to 75% o your mental energy can be tied up in things that are draining and distracting you. Eliminating distractions can be a difficult concept to many people, since they haven’t really considered that there is another way to live. Look around at someone’s life you admire. What do they do that you would like to incorporate into your own life? Ask them how they did it. Find ways to free up your mental energy for things that are more important to you.’

6. T – Thoughts. A great life is the result of controlling your thoughts so that you accept and allow for the possibility that it actually can happen to you! Your belief in the outcome will directly dictate how successful you are. Motivated people have specific goals and look for ways to achieve them. Believing there is a solution to the same old problems you encounter year after year is vitally important to creating a life that you love.

7. S – Start. A great life is the result of starting. There’s the old saying everyone’s familiar with “a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” In order to even move from the couch to the refrigerator, you have to start. There’s no better time to start than today. Don’t wait for a raise, or until the kids get older or the weather is better. Today, right now, is the right day to start to take a step in the direction of your heart’s desires. It’s what you do TODAY that will make a difference in your life tomorrow.

父亲把信心，毅力及勇气留给我们

亲爱的母亲：

祖父二战时忠烈爱国，牺牲国土，故爸爸自幼丧父，其母亲因生活困苦而改嫁。虽然如此爸爸也没因而生活有改善。因姑婆膝下无子，把父亲的抚养权争夺过来，切没得到姑婆的宽待。父亲这一辈子生活坎坷曲折，年青时还无端端被英殖民地政府捉去坐牢。自此以后爸爸学会了制鞋手艺。他以敬业乐业的精神做了这辈子的鞋匠养活我们一家人。虽然他没像林梧桐般拥有金山银山富可敌国的财富，但他把信心，毅力及勇气遗留给了我们这一代。这三者具备，则可让我们轻易立足于社会。爸爸是一支有泪的蜡烛，他点燃了我们的生命。 祝：有心就有福

True Nobility

In a clam sea every man is a pilot.

But all sunshine without shade, all pleasure without pain, is not life at all. Take the lot of the happiest – it is a tangled yarn. Bereavements and blessings, one following another, make us sad and blessed by turns. Even death itself makes life more loving. Men come closest to their true selves in the sober moments of life, under the shadows of sorrow and loss.

In the affairs of life or of business, it is not intellect that tells so much as character, not brains so much as heart, not genius so much as self-control, patience and discipline, regulated by judgment.

I have always believed that the man who has begun to live more seriously within begins to live more simply without. In an age of extravagance and waste, I wish I could show to the world how few the real wants of humanity are.

To regret one’s errors to the point of not repeating them is true repentance.

There is nothing noble in being superior to some other man. The true nobility is in being superior to your previous self.

敬老尊贤，血脉相承

亲爱的母亲：

父亲在世时，教会我们敬老尊贤。他最尊敬我们的亲爱外婆。每当外婆来访，他必须亲自放下工作出来迎接问好。外婆早已把父亲当儿子，可是父亲逝世切不告知婆婆老人家，何孝有之？哀哉！

虽然父亲未曾向我们提起过他敬爱的曾祖母，但他对曾祖母的恩惠念念不忘。因为曾祖母是他自幼从中国南下南洋的唯一至亲。当曾祖母往生后，父亲都一直保留着其遗照，但因种种不为人知的缘故，父亲勉强把曾祖母的遗照挂在工厂一处暗不见光又不显眼的板上，天天守望着其可怜的孙子在困苦中补鞋磨鞋求生活。一眼望去，曾祖母有着贤慧慈祥的音容，但有些人切望之生惧。有道是疑心生鬼。心中有疑，什么都挂碍。心中坦然，念念只有佛，就什么事都没有。

但愿有一天，曾祖母和父亲的遗照能堂堂正正挂在大厅堂保佑着李家子子孙孙血脉相承，延续家族的精神，出人头地，光荣耀祖。祝：选择放下，就能活在当下。